Learning > Change
This is a formula for success.
Your ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, the rate at which you adopt and expand your skills as leader, needs to exceed the rate at which your environment ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ด.
If not, you’ll fall behind and others will pass you by.
Has your learning kept up? Are you consistently making time for personal and professional development?
Prioritizing your full inbox, however inevitable and important it might feel, is short-term thinking. And it will never get empty.
As leaders, we face bigger expectations, more complex challenges, and higher stakes.
So how do you ensure your growth stays ahead of the curve? Here are three steps:
1๏ธโฃ Reflect Regularly
Block out time each week to review whatโs working, whatโs not, and what you can learn from it all.
2๏ธโฃ Seek Feedback
Blind spots grow in the dark. Ask for candid input oftenโdonโt wait for formal reviews.
๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ด: 95% ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ง๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ข๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ 10-15% ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ.
3๏ธโฃ Invest in Yourself
Read, take courses, or get help. Your development isnโt a โnice-to-haveโ but a โmust-have.โ
Change is inevitable. Falling behind doesnโt have to be.
How has your learning kept pace with your changing role over the past year?
How to Have Real Conversations & Connect With People
Person A: “I, I, I, me, me, me.”
Person B: “Fascinating! Because I, I, I, me, me, me.”
Person A: “That’s so true, reminds me of… I, I, I, me, me, me.”
This is how most ‘conversations’ go: two people taking turns talking about themselves.
Itโs not surprising. Weโre wired to think about ourselves most of the time.
But when all we do is talk about ourselves, we miss out on something important.
We donโt learn anything new.
We donโt grow.
We donโt build real connections.
๐ก ๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐. ๐๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐.
Person C makes conversations meaningful.
If someone brings up a topic, they ask questions like:
“What does that mean to you?”
“How did you get into that?”
“What do you like most about it?”
Person C doesnโt just talkโthey listen and learn.
This doesnโt mean you should never talk about yourself. Conversations are a two-way street. But when you go into a conversation with curiosity and a desire to learn, amazing things happen:
๐ You learn new things.
๐ You see the world in new ways.
โค๏ธ You build stronger relationships.
๐ค People feel heard and valued.
Next time youโre in a conversation, pause and ask yourself:
๐๐บ ๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐น๐, ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ?
This small change can make a big difference.
As a Leader, Do You Always Need to Have the Answer?
Youโre not a search engine.
But as a new leader, it can feel like you have to be one.
Your team asks questions. Pings you on Teams. Calls. Emails. And the instinct? Respond. Immediately. Every single time.
The problem? Constant interruptions chip away at your ability to focus, and focus is what you need most as a leader.
Itโs what allows you to steer the ship, plan strategically, and make thoughtful decisions for your teamโs success.
When you spend your days responding to every ping and notification, you lose the time and energy for the deep thinking that drives real progress.
What can you do?
โข ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐: Set a daily hour of uninterrupted focus for you and your team.
โข ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐: Encourage your team to solve what they can without you, building their confidence along the way.
โข ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐ฒ: Leadership is about guiding the team toward long-term success, not managing every moment.
Start protecting your focus.
Itโs the key to being the leader your team needs.
What if your manager or client gives you more work than you can handle?
What do you do when your manager or client asks you to take on more workโwhen your schedule is already packed?
Most of us have two typical responses:
Say ๐๐ฒ๐, and brace yourself for even more ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด.
Say ๐ป๐ผ, and worry about coming across as ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ.
But thereโs a better wayโa skill borrowed from improv that can change everything.
Imagine this: Youโre in a meeting, and your manager suddenly asks you to โtake chargeโ of an urgent project. Your calendar is already full, but saying no feels risky.
Or picture this: A client asks for extra work, and the deadline is tight. Saying yes means youโll struggle to keep up with everything else, yet saying no might feel like letting them down.
This is where โ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑโฆโ comes in.
The phrase โYes, andโฆโ comes from improv theater. Instead of rejecting an idea, performers use it to build on each otherโs thoughts, creating a sense of flow.
In a work setting, it works much the same way. Hereโs how it sounds in practice:
โ๐ ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐จ๐ถ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ค๐ถ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ.โ
With โ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑโฆโ, you keep your response open and positive while setting clear boundaries. It helps you stay engaged without overcommitting.
The magic of โYes, andโฆโ is that it also:
โข Shows youโre willing to collaborate
โข Acknowledges that your time and energy are limited
โข Puts the choice back in their hands, giving them a sense of control
Next time someone asks you to do more than you can handle, try these two simple words.
Let me know how it goes ๐
Starting Leaders – Don’t Fall For the Power Paradox.
Have you ever watched a colleague get promoted to team lead, only to see them change?
They start off grounded, empathetic, and fair. Then, slowly, that openness starts to fade. They seem less interested in feedback. More impulsive. And the empathy? Itโs like it vanished.
Sound familiar? This change isnโt uniqueโitโs a trap nearly every leader risks falling into.
This is the ๐ฃ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ , a term coined by psychologist Dacher Keltner.
And now it gets interest: it doesnโt just impact โother leaders.โ ๐๐๐๐จ ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช, ๐ฉ๐ค๐ค.
The Power Paradox concept explains how, as leaders gain power, they often lose the very qualities that like respect and trust that led them to power. Keltnerโs research shows that power affects the brain, triggering dopamine and sparking a โhighโ that can become addictive.
While it feels great, it also blunts social awareness, turning focus inward and making self-serving decisions feel โright.โ
If youโre a leader, donโt assume youโre immuneโ ๐ข๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด is the key to avoiding this trap.
๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒโ๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ด๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ ๐ถ๐:
- ๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐๐ต๐ ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ด๐๐น๐ฎ๐ฟ๐น๐: Empathy fades fast with power. Keep listening, and make a habit of asking your team what they really need. Adopt a regular โLoving/Kindnessโ meditation practice to increase empathy.
- ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ธ ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ: Power can make people reluctant to be honest. Show your team that you genuinely value their insights, not just their agreement.
- ๐ฆ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฑ: Real leadership is about serving others. Focus on the teamโs success and growth, not just your own.
- ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด Power drives impulsive decisions. Before you make a call, take a breath. Ask yourself: who does this really serve?
The Power Paradox is real, and it can sneak up on anyone. Stay aware, and protect the qualities that make you a true leader.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ฝ. โฌ
A controversial take on giving feedback..
Sometimes, not giving feedback is selfish.
We avoid it for two main reasons:
- We want to be liked.
- We fear confrontation.
Both are natural, but theyโre also self-centered.
By holding back, we deny the other person a chance to grow. We think we’re sparing them, but really, we’re protecting ourselves.
I used to do this all the time early in my career. I withheld feedback, afraid of being disliked, or gave it only to boost my teamโs performance, which ultimately served my interests. Neither approach worked.
Hereโs what Iโve learned: feedback, when done right, is an act of care.
Give it regularly. Make it constructiveโsomething they can actually use to improve.
Consider both dimensions:
- Rational: Be specific. Give it promptly. Offer clear suggestions for improvement.
- Emotional: Come from a place of genuine care. Donโt see the person as a problem to be fixed, but as someone worth investing in.
When feedback is both clear and compassionate, people will be more open to it.
Itโs normal for it to feel awkward, especially when youโre new to leadership.
But if youโre not uncomfortable, youโre not leading.
Try it out, and let me know how it goes.
Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy
Do you feel like you need to be available at all hours to lead effectively?
Many emerging leaders believe this, but itโs a misconception.
Always being โonโ drains your energy, leaving you with little capacity for the strategic thinking needed to truly lead.
Effective leaders understand the importance of setting boundaries. Itโs not about always being present; itโs about being present at the right moments.
Your energy and focus are your greatest assetsโdonโt waste them on every minor distraction.
And always having the answer ready creates dependencies, lowers your teamโs sense of ownership and problem-solving skills.
Step back.
Focus on the bigger picture.
Thatโs how you lead with impact.
Dealing With Difficult Colleagues
Some colleagues challenge our patience.
They might be self-centered, poor listeners, unreliable, or drenched in negativity.
Youโve tried to sidestep them. But then came the promotion to manager.
Now you have to face them head-on.
Motivating them feels like dragging an anchor through the mud.
And when they donโt change, their behavior begins to cast shadows over your teamโs morale and results.
<<๐๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ>>
What if their difficult behavior is not a wall, but a riddle to be solved?
What if their egocentrism and unreliability are scars from years of disappointment?
What if their negativity is a cry of deep concern for the team or companyโs direction?
Framing them as merely difficult hardens your heart and colours every interaction.
It becomes you versus them. Trust evaporates, resistance rises.
You end up trying to prove them wrong, hoping theyโll change.
But that battle is always lost.
This doesnโt mean tolerating bad behavior. Negativity is contagious and can spread like an oil spill.
As a leader, boundaries are essential. But before setting them, use Curiosity and Compassion.
Listen with genuine curiosity, without judgment. Take their concerns serious, and if they are valid, address them. Communicate on what youโve done.
If what they want is not something you can do, explain why, clearly and calmly.
No one wants to be forced to change.
Everyone wants to be heard and understood.
Honesty, Curiosity and Self-Reflection
This might be controversial, but hereโs something we need to talk about…
Social media is flooded with leadership quotes. We like them, we share them, and we think, “Gosh, when will my manager finally get this?” ๐
But how often do we take a hard look at our own leadership?
Hereโs the irony โ most managers are on LinkedIn daily, yet many teams are still struggling.
Itโs easy to scroll through content and believe the advice is for others. But true leadership starts with self-examination.
Are we actively seeking out feedback, especially when itโs tough to hear? Do we confront our own shortcomings?
Next time you come across a leadership quote, challenge yourself: Am I living up to this standard with my team?
If yes – how can you actually verify if this is true?
Keep the Dunning-Kruger effect in mind โ people who objectively score among the bottom 0-25% on a particular skill rate themselves in the 50-75% bracket.
Unconscious incompetence is quite common.
โ If you believe youโre doing great, but your team is consistently difficult or disengaged, it might be a sign to reevaluate your approach.
Hereโs the truth โ the leaders who practice honest self-reflection grow the fastest. They get promoted faster, score better on performance reviews, and lead happier teams.
Letโs not just scroll through inspirational quotes. Letโs live them.
Imagine the impact you could have by truly applying these principles.
Reflect deeply, lead with authenticity, and watch your team โ and yourself โ flourish. ๐ช
Difficult Conversations – Transforming Stress Into Connection
You’re about to walk into a performance review with a team member, knowing you have to deliver some tough feedback.
Your chest tightens, your breath becomes shallow, and your mind races with worst-case scenarios.
Sound familiar?
This kind of physical reaction is a natural response to stress, but it can also be a sign of a deeper issue: closing your heart to protect yourself.
We’ve all been hurt or disappointed in life, which may cause our hearts to close. When we close our hearts, we not only shut out pain but also joy, love, and connection.
This automatic defense mechanism, designed to protect us from physical threats, often leaves us feeling isolated and disconnected at work.
Living with an open heart, no matter what life throws at us, is challenging but highly rewarding. I know it sounds like a motivational poster, but letโs get practical.
Consider those moments right before difficult conversations or when receiving unexpected critical feedback.
The instinct to protect yourself causes physical constriction, especially around your chest.
You tense up, your breath becomes shallow, and your mind starts to close off, too.
Your mind and body are interconnected: the more you tense up, the more your mind focuses on perceived threats, the less connection you feel to others, the more your chest feels constricted.
Try this: each time you feel your chest tighten, consciously relax it.
Notice how often this happens throughout your day.
Slow your breathing and relax your entire body. This helps you stay calm and keeps your mind open.
When you’re open, you can connect more deeply with others. People will notice your openness and respond in kind, creating a ripple effect.
Take a deep breath, relax your chest, and embrace the day with an open heart. The rewards are immense.
The more you open up, the more the world opens up to you.
โค๏ธ