How To Deal With Anger At Work

๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต’๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ?

When people got angry at or around me, I used to feel very uncomfortable.

Today, I practice a different response: ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐˜†.

Anger can feel like an attack, but itโ€™s rarely random.
In fact, anger often has a clear purposeโ€”conscious or not.

People get angry because theyโ€™re trying to achieve something.

โ€ข Maybe they want you to stop doing something.
โ€ข Maybe theyโ€™re trying to control the situation.
โ€ข Maybe theyโ€™re protecting their ego, their reputation, or something they deeply care about.

Hereโ€™s the proof that anger is goal-driven and not just uncontrollable emotion:

โ–ช๏ธ ๐—œ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜€-๐—น๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฝ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฐ๐—ต.
Does the person yell at them? Noโ€”because their goal in that moment is safety, not confrontation.

โ–ช๏ธ ๐—ก๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ.
Do most people explode with anger? Noโ€”because their goal is likely to maintain their job and reputation, even if they disagree.

If anger were uncontrollable, people would snap in these situations too. But they donโ€™t.
๐—”๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฝ ๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฐ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—น.

The next time a colleague gets angry at you, take a breath.

Instead of snapping back, ask yourself:
๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜โ€™๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ?

Are they trying to feel heard? Are they trying to protect something?

This shift from defensiveness to curiosity helps you take control of the situation.

๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ผ: curiosity has been shown to deactivate the threat response in our brain, allowing us to engage more calmly and constructively in conflict. Itโ€™s also linked to higher emotional intelligence, better relationships, and more effective conflict resolution.

This doesnโ€™t mean tolerating bad behaviorโ€”boundaries are still crucial.
But when you see anger as a sign of unmet needs rather than a personal attack, you stop reacting and start responding thoughtfully.

So next time someone gets angry, pause and ask:

๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜โ€™๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—น?

Youโ€™ll be surprised how much clarityโ€”and calmโ€”you gain.

How to Have Real Conversations & Connect With People

Person A: “I, I, I, me, me, me.”
Person B: “Fascinating! Because I, I, I, me, me, me.”
Person A: “That’s so true, reminds me of… I, I, I, me, me, me.”

This is how most ‘conversations’ go: two people taking turns talking about themselves.

Itโ€™s not surprising. Weโ€™re wired to think about ourselves most of the time.

But when all we do is talk about ourselves, we miss out on something important.

We donโ€™t learn anything new.
We donโ€™t grow.
We donโ€™t build real connections.

๐Ÿ’ก ๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—” ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—•. ๐—•๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—–.

Person C makes conversations meaningful.

If someone brings up a topic, they ask questions like:

“What does that mean to you?”
“How did you get into that?”
“What do you like most about it?”

Person C doesnโ€™t just talkโ€”they listen and learn.

This doesnโ€™t mean you should never talk about yourself. Conversations are a two-way street. But when you go into a conversation with curiosity and a desire to learn, amazing things happen:

๐ŸŒŸ You learn new things.
๐Ÿ‘€ You see the world in new ways.
โค๏ธ You build stronger relationships.
๐Ÿค People feel heard and valued.

Next time youโ€™re in a conversation, pause and ask yourself:

๐—”๐—บ ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐—น๐˜†, ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐—บ ๐—œ ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ?

This small change can make a big difference.