This article guides new leaders on managing a negative employee as a first-time manager. It distinguishes between temporary frustration and toxic patterns that harm team culture. Practical steps are provided for curiosity-based conversations and setting necessary boundaries.
Someone on your team is negative. Every meeting, they’ve got a complaint. Every decision gets an eye roll. Every new initiative gets a “yeah, but…”
Do you say something? Ignore it? You don’t want to shut people down, but you also can’t pretend this isn’t happening. Managing a negative employee as a first-time manager is one of the toughest early tests you will face.
Why First-Time Managers Freeze Up
Most new managers see negativity and do nothing. You worry about making it worse. You worry they’ll get defensive. You worry you’ll look like you can’t handle feedback.
So you wait. And hope it gets better.
It won’t.
The Oil Stain Effect
I’ve seen this multiple times. A negative employee starts complaining. At first, it’s just them. Then someone else joins in. Before you know it, half your team is focused on what’s wrong.
Negativity spreads like an oil stain. Team meetings become complaint sessions. Good ideas get shot down. People who were positive start wondering if they’re missing something.
But managing a negative employee as a first-time manager doesn’t mean crushing all complaints. Sometimes negativity is useful feedback wrapped in frustration. Your job is figuring out which one you’re dealing with.
Is This a Bad Day or a Pattern?
Watch for a bit. Is this person having a rough week, or is this who they are every day?
One bad day doesn’t make someone negative. Even a bad week doesn’t. People get frustrated. That’s normal.
But if it’s been three weeks and every conversation is negative, that’s a pattern. Patterns don’t fix themselves. The longer you wait, the harder the conversation gets.
When to Address It
Address it when:
- It’s a pattern, not a one-off.
- It’s affecting other people.
- It’s about attitude, not legitimate concerns.
Let it go when:
- Someone’s having a bad day.
- They’re raising valid concerns (even if the tone isn’t perfect).
- It’s directed at a problem, not at people.
The difference? “This process is broken because X” is feedback. “Everything here is terrible” is negativity.
How to Have the First Conversation
Start gentle. Be curious, not confrontational. This is a skill we often refine in leadership coaching, because the tone makes all the difference.
Pull them aside privately. Just a casual one-on-one.
“Hey, I’ve noticed you seem frustrated lately. Is everything okay? Is there something I can help with?”
No accusations. No “you’re being negative.” Just curiosity.
Most of the time, this opens things up. Maybe there’s something you didn’t know about. Listen. Really listen. Don’t defend or explain. Just hear them out.
If there’s a real issue underneath, work on fixing it together. “What would make this better?” Now you’re solving a problem, not managing an attitude.
If Nothing Changes
Sometimes the gentle approach doesn’t work. They seemed better for a day. Now they’re back to the same pattern.
This is when you set boundaries.
“We talked last week, and I thought we’d made progress. But I’m still hearing a lot of negativity in meetings. I need to be direct: this is affecting the team. When you [specific example], it makes it harder for everyone to stay focused.”
Be specific. Not “you’re always negative” but “in yesterday’s meeting, when Sarah suggested the new process, you immediately said it wouldn’t work without hearing her out.”
Then: “I want to support you, but I also need this to change. What do you need from me to make that happen?”
You’re still supportive. But you’re making it clear this can’t continue.
What Your Team Is Watching For
Your team is watching how you handle this. This is often a key topic in in-company management training: preserving the team culture.
If you let negativity run wild, they learn that complaining is fine. If you shut down all complaints, they learn to never speak up.
Managing a negative employee as a first-time manager is actually managing the culture of your whole team. Handle it well and everyone benefits. Avoid it and everyone suffers.
What to Do This Week
If you’ve got someone who’s consistently negative:
- Decide if this is a pattern or just a bad stretch.
- Schedule a casual one-on-one.
- Start with curiosity: “I’ve noticed you seem frustrated. What’s going on?”
- If nothing changes after two weeks, have the boundary conversation.
Your team needs someone who’s willing to have uncomfortable conversations when it matters.
Schedule a free introduction call. Just to see if there’s a click and where you might need help.
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