You helped, smiled, nodded… and walked away annoyed.
We’ve all done it.
When we please, we’re often hoping for something in return. Approval, respect, appreciation.
But when that return doesn’t come, we’re left feeling used, bitter, or just plain tired.
That’s because pleasing isn’t kindness.
It’s a quiet transaction, disguised as niceness.
And when it fails, the emotional cost is yours alone.
Kindness, by contrast, is clean. It gives without expectation, and feels lighter, not heavier.
In leadership, the difference isn’t academic.
One builds trust. The other erodes it silently.
Have you caught yourself doing the second, when you meant the first?
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