INSPIRATION
Inspiration
Ideas that have shaped me.
I have been working on personal development for two decades. Not as a hobby, but out of necessity. From introverted and shy to someone who trains groups of managers. That journey has taught me a lot.
Below you will find quotes, insights and thoughts that have shaped me. From ancient philosophers to modern scientists. No ready-made answers. Just ideas worth thinking about.
We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played.
The biggest regret of people on their deathbed: not allowing themselves to enjoy life more.
Live as if you were living for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.
The best way out is always through.
The way to deal with unpleasant feelings is counter-intuitive. By embracing them, they will eventually disappear. Everything that we resist, persists.
The insight of impermanence has the power to liberate us. You suddenly realise how foolish it is to be angry and to argue with each other. Life is so precious. Your anger has transformed into love.
You are not afraid of public speaking, being judged, or being rejected. You are afraid of a feeling. More specifically, you are afraid of sitting with an uncomfortable feeling.
Stress only happens when you resist life's events. If you are not pushing life away, or pulling it toward you, then you are not generating resistance. You are simply present.
Fear is an experience, like everything else in life. Realising this can already reduce the fear.
True confidence is just being OK with everything that you are.
Who are you? You think "I am a woman of this age, and I follow this philosophy". Those are all just ideas. You define yourself by what you believe. You have created a sense of stability inside, which generates a false but welcome sense of security.
By judging others, or by strongly identifying as something — your beliefs, religion, job — you make the "otherness" of others stronger. You are then not awake, and these mind patterns have you in their grip.
From the point of view of survival, "I am bad" is a safer perspective than "my parents are unreliable and may abandon me". It's better for the child to feel defective than to realise the attachment figures are unable to give everything it needs. This leads to feelings of not being good enough later in life.
Onze persoonlijkheid bestaat uit meerdere 'selves'. Je kunt ze vergelijken met programma's die in verschillende situaties worden geactiveerd. Met je 3-jarige nichtje, je baas, of je ex, gebruik je ander lichaamstaal, een andere toon, andere emoties. Dat is niet nep. Dat is complex.
Until you have some capacity to be mindful, you have no choice but to be lost in every next thought that arises. You can't notice thought as thought — it just feels like you. If they are angry thoughts, you are angry. Every time you're lost in thought, you're very likely telling yourself a story for the 15th time that you don't have the decency to find boring.
The crucial prerequisite for self-observation is the ability to conduct it impartially, without moral judgement. Let your life flow — not before a panel of judges, but under the x-rays of your own objective intelligence. Self-observation is self-correction.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. We are made of our thoughts, we are molded by our thoughts. As we think, so we become.
Thousands of anxious thoughts appear all day long. It's a constant monitoring to see if we're gaining or losing ground in the grand approval sweepstakes. The unspoken belief is that unless people approve of you, you're worthless. The irony is that the struggle to win love and approval makes it very difficult to experience them.
If you ever let yourself feel good when people tell you that you're OK, you are preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you're not good. As long as you live to fulfill other people's expectations, you better watch what you wear, how you comb your hair. Do you call that human?
Everything you think other people think about you, you think about yourself.
Bitterness is how we punish ourselves for other people's sins.
The difference between being kind and pleasing others lies in the motivation. Being kind is altruism. Pleasing is dependency. One gives because it feels good. The other gives to get something back: validation. When that recognition is withheld, it backfires.
Not expressing the truth is an act of manipulation. It is bending reality for your own gain. The consequence of losing money or a relationship by being honest is far less than losing yourself.
Because we listen autobiographically, we tend to evaluate (do I agree?), probe (ask questions from our own frame), advise (give counsel based on our own experience), or interpret (figure people out based on our own motives). If I'm trying to evaluate everything someone says, how free do they feel when speaking?
If two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary.
You have an enormous amount of energy inside of you. It's always available to you. At any moment. The only reason you don't feel this energy all the time is because you block it. You block it by closing your heart. This energy is your birthright. And it's unlimited.
Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experiences and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves. Body awareness puts us in touch with our inner world. Simply noticing our annoyance, nervousness or anxiety immediately helps us shift our perspective.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Character is the willingness to take responsibility for one's own life.
Maturity is the ability to express your feelings and emotions, balanced with consideration for those of others.
The trouble with people is that they are busy fixing things they don't understand. It never strikes us that things don't need to be fixed. This is a great illumination. They need to be understood. If you understood them, they would change.
There are no bad teams, only bad leaders. Believe in the mission, check your ego, stay humble and keep things simple.
Love is not primarily a relationship to one person; it's an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole. Love is an activity, a power of the soul.
To be concentrated to others means primarily to be able to listen. Most people listen to others without really listening. Any activity, if done in a concentrated fashion, makes one more awake — while every unconcentrated activity makes one sleepy.
The human soul doesn't want to be advised, fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is.
A first step to genuinely connect with someone: lose the need to be right, respected, or in control. When you feel the urge to explain yourself, let it go.
