Some colleagues challenge our patience.
They might be self-centered, poor listeners, unreliable, or drenched in negativity.
You’ve tried to sidestep them. But then came the promotion to manager.
Now you have to face them head-on.
Motivating them feels like dragging an anchor through the mud.
And when they don’t change, their behavior begins to cast shadows over your team’s morale and results.
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What if their difficult behavior is not a wall, but a riddle to be solved?
What if their egocentrism and unreliability are scars from years of disappointment?
What if their negativity is a cry of deep concern for the team or company’s direction?
Framing them as merely difficult hardens your heart and colours every interaction.
It becomes you versus them. Trust evaporates, resistance rises.
You end up trying to prove them wrong, hoping they’ll change.
But that battle is always lost.
This doesn’t mean tolerating bad behavior. Negativity is contagious and can spread like an oil spill.
As a leader, boundaries are essential. But before setting them, use Curiosity and Compassion.
Listen with genuine curiosity, without judgment. Take their concerns serious, and if they are valid, address them. Communicate on what you’ve done.
If what they want is not something you can do, explain why, clearly and calmly.
No one wants to be forced to change.
Everyone wants to be heard and understood.