Ever heard the Zen koan about the fish seller?
A koan is a short story to invoke insight. I wasn’t sure to share it, as it’s quite abstract, but because I love it, I’m doing it anyway.
It goes like this:
“Banzan was walking through the market when he overheard a conversation between a fish seller and his customer.
The customer asked for the best piece of fish.
The seller replied, ‘All my pieces of fish are the best I have.’
Upon hearing this, Banzan was enlightened.”
Ok, that seller is either a genius, of desperately needs a marketing course. But what’s the point here actually?
It’s this: what if we saw every experience, every moment, as the best we have?
You might be thinking, “Yeah right, how is that aweful performance review the best moment I have?”
It’s not about the situation, it’s about how we 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦 the situation.
When you approach a meeting thinking, “I hate this,” you’re already creating stress. For yourself.
You can’t control this initial spark of stress or negativity, that’s just your mind doing its thing.
But the moment you become aware of if, you have a choice to go along with that story, or not.
Usually, we go along with the mind’s story, and start having an internal conversation with ourselves about how this or that is terrible.
The result? It creates tension and drain your energy.
Instead, consider this approach:
✅ Before the meeting, take a moment to breathe and set an intention.
Think, “What can I gain from this meeting?”
✅ Realize: 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲.
✅ During the meeting, engage actively. Focus on understanding and connecting with the other, and contributing your best.
✅ After the meeting, find one positive takeaway, even if it’s small.
This shift in mindset doesn’t make the meeting (or situation) perfect, but it reduces the stress and helps you find value in the experience.
Even in our toughest moments, our bodies perform miracles. Billions of cells are working every second to keep us alive and functioning. This perspective can be incredibly empowering.
For managers, judging and resisting saps your energy.
Accepting each moment as it is can recharge your leadership and give you the clarity to inspire your team.
This doesn’t mean you can’t try to improve situations, or your life. To grow, learn. But when done from a state of accepting every moment as it is, without resistance, is so much more powerful.
So, what caused this major shift in Banzan after hearing that conversation?
He realized that his tendency to think “I don’t want this, I want that” was making him miserable.
And the lesson from the seller’s perspective: everything we do is the best in that moment. Big tasks or small, they all matter.
Try seeing each moment as perfect.
I know from experience: it’s not easy, but the better you get at this, the happier you’ll be.
<3
