How To Have Effective 1:1’s With Your Team Members

Remember those 30-minute one-on-one meetings that felt more like a cozy chat than a productive meeting? We laughed, we talked, but often missed the key points.

It turns out, most managers, myself included, learned to conduct effective 1:1s more through slow experience than quick training.

Good 1:1s meet both the work and personal needs of your team.

Here’s how to make yours better:

1. ๐—–๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ-๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น-๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: Be genuinely curious and caring about how your direct reports are doing. Example questions: “How did you feel this week?” “What was your best moment?” “How has your week been?”

2. ๐—จ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—น ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿญ:๐Ÿญ๐˜€: Tools like Asana, Jira, or even Google Sheets are great to track your meetings. Both you and your team member should add updates and agenda points, and review those, before the meeting.

3. ๐—ž๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜: Follow a set agenda. Cover open topics, action items, blockers, questions and successes. Save your valuable meeting time for discussion – you can share regular updates through the online tool.

4. ๐—ฃ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฐ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€: Starting on time and avoiding cancellations shows respect. It signals to your team you value their time.

5. ๐—™๐—ผ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ: If you promise to take an action, update your team on the progress. Itโ€™s a great way to build trust. Ask the same from your team.

6. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: For leaders, information is gold. The leader that listens well has a big advantage. Listening also makes your team feel heard and cared about. (We all overestimate our ability to listen.)

7. ๐—”๐˜€๐—ธ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—พ๐˜‚๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€: Encourage them to think and reflect about their week. Ask about highlights and challenges. Instead of giving your ideal solution right away, ask them what they think first. This supports growth and learning.

Using these tips, you can turn 1:1s from simple chats into powerful tools for growth and success.

Freeing Up More Time For The Things That Matter – Prioritizing Your Tasks

“Thereโ€™s never enough time in the day! What can I do about this?โ€ ๐Ÿ˜“ In our professional lives, urgent tasks and looming deadlines can leave us feeling stretched thin and stressed, draining our energy and creating anxiety.

This challenge echoes through the experiences of many professionals I’ve connected with recently. Especially in dynamic and high-pressure industries, the struggle to find time for what truly matters is real.

We prioritize the urgent over the important.

The price we pay? We neglect investing in ourselves. We constantly put out fires, and donโ€™t get to doing those things that prevent fires from breaking out or prepare us best for future opportunities.

โ–ถ Enter the Important vs Urgent (โ€˜Eisenhowerโ€™) matrix, a game-changer for those shifting from a reactive to a strategic approach.

Saying no to or delegating urgent but not important tasks might feel counterintuitive initially, but frees up precious time for activities that actually move the needle for you โ€“ whether itโ€™s learning about new technologies, staying up to date on case law, or following that leadership, mindfulness or communication training.

The template below can help you reprioritize your time and energy. โšก

And when you freed up that time, how can you be the most effective? Tip #1: Avoid distractions.

The constant need to respond immediately to messages and emails hijacks productivity and creates stress. Did you know it takes an average of 23 minutes to refocus after a distraction?

Scheduling uninterrupted time for your important work is a huge productivity booster. Here are 3 tips:

ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Try setting your OOO to โ€œFocussed work time โ€“ call for emergenciesโ€ for an hour daily, and turn off Teams. ๐Ÿคซ
ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Use the ‘Pomodoro technique’ (named after a pomodoro kitchen timer): 25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break, repeat 3-4 times. ๐Ÿ…
ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Turn your phone’s messaging notifications off and put it out of sight. ๐Ÿ“ต

Freeing up this time can make a big impact over time: freeing up 2 hours for important work per week translates to around 100 hours per year.ย 

  • See ‘Free Downloads‘ for the Eisenhower Matrix PDF.

The Many Benefits of Finding Your Purpose

โ€œA study found a 15% (!) drop in the risk of dying over the next decade for people finding their purpose, regardless of age.โ€

What?!

Raise your hand if you ever subtly rolled your eyes at the mentioning of “finding your purpose ๐Ÿ’ซ”? I get it โ€“ it can sound like part of a motivational YouTube video.

If youโ€™re like me, youโ€™d rather trust data and research than grandiose terms. No crystal-balls magic, just empirically proven benefits. ๐Ÿ’ผ

Well, the research paints a compelling picture: knowing and living your life purpose isn’t just warm and fuzzy; it’s the secret sauce for success.

Here are some of the amazing benefits (sources provided below), accessible for everyone:

๐Ÿ’ช A long-term study found that making a significant step towards finding your purpose caused a 15% drop in the risk of dying over the next decade.

๐ŸŒˆ More happiness, stronger relationships, better sleep, and mental health.

๐Ÿ’ฐ Having a sense of purpose predicts greater income and net worth.

๐Ÿš€ And it’s not just personal โ€“ purpose is a key ingredient to exceptional leadership.

โฌ† For companies, aligning individual and organizational purpose brings a ton of benefits, from a fourfold boost in engagement to a twofold increase in employee retention.

So many advantages, whatโ€™s the catch? Do you need to save the whales to reap the benefits? Win a Nobel Prize? No, not at all.

(Donโ€™t let me stop you though. ๐Ÿ‹)

Also, it’s personal โ€“ you donโ€™t have to share it with anyone. ๐Ÿคซ

And here’s the kicker: purpose works regardless of your worldview, religion, or lack thereof. It’s about the impact you want to make – for yourself and others.

What Problems And Questions From My Team Should I Take On – And What Not?

Who else has felt the overwhelming urge to solve every problem that lands on their desk?

It’s a common trap for new managers, feeling like you need to be the hero.

Imagine walking around with a big backpack. ๐ŸŽ’

Every time your team comes to you with a problem, you have a choice โ€“ do you accept the problem and add it to your backpack, or not?

Put too much in your backpack, and you wonโ€™t be able to move anymore.

Great leadership isn’t about how many problems you can solve; it’s about how many problems you can teach your team to solve.

๐Ÿ“Œ Hereโ€™s a quick tip: Think of yourself as a guide rather than a fixer.

Next time a direct report comes to you with an issue, ask, “What part of this can you handle, and what do you need my help with? What solution have you considered?โ€.

This empowers them and helps you prioritize your own workload.

๐Ÿ‘‰ If you’re unsure whether to take on a problem, consider if it aligns with your key responsibilities. If it doesn’t, it’s likely not yours to solve.

Coaching your team to handle challenges not only lightens your load but also builds their confidence and skills.

This fosters a culture of problem-solving, innovation, and ownership.

Lastly, at a later moment, check-in and reflect with your team around problems you asked them to solve themselves, to build trust and enhance learning.

The Importance Of Taking Regular Breaks And Making Small Changes In Your Environment

Yesterday, something amazing happened in Amsterdam.

After months of cold and rain, suddenly the mercury hit 18 degrees โ€“ very rare for a day in March. ๐ŸŒž

This beautiful weather had a remarkable effect โ€“ it completely changed the city’s vibe. People were smiling more, looked happier, and seemed more energetic.

It reminded me of how much a change in environment can impact your mood.

I often see the same during coaching, where even moving to a new spot in the room can change your mood, perspective or feelings.

Let’s connect this to how many of our days look; spending hours behind screens.

Apparently, and I only stumbled upon this mind-blowing fact recently: Zoom didnโ€™t exist 20,000 years ago ( ๐Ÿ˜ฒ!!).

Our brains havenโ€™t yet evolved to deal with Zoom-a-thons.

What can you do?

Create several of these mini-spring moments throughout your day.

Every few hours, go for a short walk outside.

Or put on your favorite song and dance.

Or do some stretching.

Anything that gets your body moving.

These changes in the environment work like resets for your brain.

As the picture below shows: your brain needs to recharge – you can’t win all those Nobel prizes on an empty battery.

(The test person at the bottom, the one whose brain doesn’t look microwaved, took short breaks between calls.)

Training, Mentoring And Coaching – When To Use What?

Letโ€™s look at one tool from the leadership toolkit: training, mentoring and coaching your team. ๐Ÿ› 

Demystifying the use of ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด, ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด, and ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด.

All three are essential skills for any manager.

Use the right skill at the right time to maximize your teamโ€™s development.

So, when to use what?

๐—ง๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: ๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜„ ๐˜€๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—น๐—น๐˜€ ๐ŸŽ“

Perfect for beginners, training is directive and instructional, focusing on knowledge transfer to lay a solid skill foundation. Usually short-term.

“๐˜๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜โ€™๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ ๐˜Ÿ, ๐˜ , ๐˜ก.โ€

โœ… ๐˜›๐˜ช๐˜ฑ: verify, in a supportive, non-controlling way, if the training was successful and the desired skills were learned.

๐— ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: ๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐Ÿงญ

Suited for mid-level to senior team members, mentoring offers guidance and wisdom from personal experience. Guide your team members on their professional journey. Longer term.

“๐˜๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ’๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ณ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด. ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ?”

โœ… ๐˜›๐˜ช๐˜ฑ: the relationship is essential in mentoring – take a genuine interest in your mentee.

๐—–๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: ๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜„๐˜๐—ต ๐Ÿš€

Ideal for more senior team members, coaching is an equal partnership that promotes self-discovery and maximizes their potential. No advice or instructions are given.

Through questions, help your coachee discover what they want, and how theyโ€™ll get there. Only effective if coachee is motivated to be coached.

“๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฒ๐˜ถ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ?”

โœ… ๐˜›๐˜ช๐˜ฑ: a good coach is a good listener โ€“ practice active listening and ask open-ended questions.

Every team member, regardless of their role or seniority, might find value in training, mentoring, or coaching, tailored to their unique needs at different times.

Which of the three did you benefit the most from in your career?

Completing My 5-Month Coaching Training

Using the words โ€œ๐˜โ€™๐˜ฎ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆโ€ in 2024 feels a bit like using a fax machine, but itโ€™s how I feel right now.

Five months after starting, I completed the Co-Active Intermediate coaching training last weekend.

Iโ€™m now trained in Co-Active Training Institute‘s effective and transformative Co-Active coaching model and ready to start coaching professionally!

A quote I heard during that weekend stayed with me:

“๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ป๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ.”

Five months ago, I left a decade-long career and the safety that comes with it, to start this adventure.

Looking back, this marked the beginning of my ‘second life’ โ€“ committed to helping others live happier and more fulfilling lives. And so far, I have loved every step of it.

I rediscovered my creativity, intuition, and sense of purpose. And learned that fear is just a feeling! Doing something scary for me feels liberating.

The phrase โ€˜making the most out of lifeโ€™ always seemed clichรฉ, until I realized itโ€™s extremely valuable advice. And one of the things coaches help with.

A big thank-you to everyone who supported me the last 5 months, to my fellow coaches for sharing your experiences, to my Co-Active peers for your inspiration, and particularly to those Iโ€™ve coached for your openness and trust.

Interested in more happiness, balance, growth and fulfillment in life? Feel free to reach out; I’d love to discuss this further.

Whatโ€™s next? I’m trained, energized, and ready to begin. Stay tuned for next week’s update on how I plan to transform clichรฉs into realities, one coaching session at a time.