Author: davidbuirs.com

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 2/2

I always saw myself as a good listener. Until I realized I wasn’t…

Last week I wrote about 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 – you keep getting promoted, until you hit the ceiling of your competence.

Then, the requirements of the role exceed your capabilities and you stop being promoted.

For competence, think about things like your ability to think strategically, your emotional intelligence, your leadership skills, your communication skills, or your ability to analyse complex problems.

Competence is not set in stone – you can increase it.

But here, we’re faced with an invisible enemy – the 𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗞𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁.

It’s a cognitive bias that makes people with low ability in a specific area, overestimate their ability in that area. It’s unconscious incompetence.

In many experiments, Dunning and Kruger’s observed that people who objectively score among the lowest 25%, rate themselves to be in the 50-75% range.

A practical example: many people who believe they are good listeners, in fact aren’t.

For me, the realization came when I truly listened to feedback. And then explored the topic of what listening is about, and how to become good at it.

Let’s tie last week’s post and this topic together:

• You keep getting promoted in organizations, until you hit your level of competence (𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲).
• To keep getting promoted, increase your level of competence.
• For those skills we need to increase our competence for, we overestimate our ability (𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗞𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁).
• This prevents us from putting in the effort to improve, which keeps our level of competence, and our career, where it is.

What can you do?

• Take assessments on particular skills required for your role.
• Ask for 360-feedback from your colleagues (anonymous or not). Be open to criticism.
• Question your beliefs about what you know and what you don’t yet know.
• Keep learning.

There is no need to become insecure and doubtful about your abilities. But realize information is power.

And, a few weeks after International Women’s Day, for managers and organisations, I also want to call out the 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲. It describes how many women in organisations work below their level of competence. Using objective data can help us counter this

So, identify the skills critical for your role and the next. Use data and feedback for an honest assessment, and then, take action.

Your future-you will thank you for it.

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 1/2

Imagine climbing a ladder, where each step represents a new level of achievement in your career.

Now, imagine there’s a step where, once you reach it, climbing further becomes impossible—not because the ladder ends, but because your ability to climb does. Welcome to the Peter Principle.

Coined by Dr. Laurence J. Peter in 1969, this principle suggests that in a company’s hierarchy, people tend to rise to their “level of incompetence.”

Simply put, most people are promoted based on their performance in their previous role. Until they reach a position where they’re no longer competent enough in that role.

And that’s where they stop.

The beauty—and challenge—of this concept lies in its silent alarm: to pause and introspect. It’s not a career death sentence but a wake-up call to continually evolve, to plug the gaps in our competence before they become career stoppers.

Because you actually can increase your level of competence.

Recognizing where you need to grow requires humility and curiosity—qualities essential for any leader aiming to defy the Peter Principle.

In essence, the ability to progress beyond your current capabilities is not only about acquiring new skills; it’s about self-awareness and the willingness to adapt.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀: assess what skills are needed for the 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 step, and actively develop those. Ask for honest feedback.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀/𝗛𝗥: promote people based on their suitability for their next role, not their performance on their current job. Create development programs.

So, how can you ensure your next promotion isn’t your last?

Stay tuned for part 2 of this series next week, where I’ll discuss a phenomenon that often goes hand-in-hand with the Peter Principle, keeping many from realizing their potential blind spots.

Hint: It’s not about your ability but your awareness of it.

career Peter Principle promotion self-awareness

How To Make Meditation And Mindfulness A Part Of Your Life To Reduce Anxiety And Increase Happiness

What’s the connection between The Muppets and mindfulness? Stick with me—this isn’t the setup for a joke.. (Could be a great one though.)

Remember Waldorf and Statler, the critics in the balcony? They’re a metaphor for our own minds: often negative, judging ourselves and others.

Evolutionarily, that makes perfect sense. Your brain – basically a radar scanning for danger – evolved in dangerous times.

Tigers could jump out of every bush. 🐅

In modern times this constant scanning causes anxiety and unhappiness.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁-𝘀𝗼-𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀?

You can’t completely silence those inner critics.

They’re hard-wired into your brain. (And small, short doses of self-criticism can be healthy.)

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀?

Meditation offers an escape.

It allows you to step out of the balcony and watch those grumpy guys go on and on from a distance.

Realizing you don’t have to listen to or reply to everything they say is such a relief. Most of it isn’t true anyway.

Two years ago I started a daily meditation practice. It gave me more peace of mind, positivity and focus. It reduced many of my worries.

Curious about meditation, and unsure where to begin? Try this:

▸ Set an alarm or ⏳for 5/10 mins.
▸ Sit comfortably, eyes closed.
▸ Focus on your breath.
▸ Thoughts will interrupt— you can’t stop them. Imagine Waldorf and Statler doing their usual thing.
▸ Label these thoughts as thoughts, without engaging with them. Like watching clouds drift by.
▸ Keep going back to your breath.

That’s it.

Regular practice increases the amount of grey matter in your brain, increasing cognitive function. 🧠 (Or in less fancy terms: makes you smarter.)

It also boosts mood, focus and productivity and lowers stress and anxiety. It really works.

Does this mean thinking is bad? Absolutely not. But use it as a tool, when you need it.

Ready to stop being puppeteered by your thoughts? Give meditation a go. 🙏🏻

Call 0800-MEDITATION for support. Or schedule a call with me.

focus mindfullness Stress

How To Have Difficult Conversations As Manager?

Struggling with tough conversations as a new manager? You’re not alone—over 90% of your peers feel the same.

I’ve certainly been there. Feeling anxious before feedback sessions or dreading delivering bad news.

So what turns your regular chat into a difficult conversation?

1) 𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 ➡ ⬅
2) The 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 ❗
3) 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 run high 😨

Ironically, the more important the conversation, the harder it is to handle it well.

To guide you, I’ve created these slides for you. The information comes from a book I love: 𝘊𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.

With over 4 million copies sold, it’s a game-changer for leaders.

It helped me tremendously in my career. I hope it can help you too.

If you want to discuss specific situations that you find challenging, do reach out, I’d love to help.

See -Free Downloads- for the PDF file.

crucial conversations difficult conversations feedback Management Management

Reduce Time Spent On Your Phone And Reclaim Your Focus And Productivity

Our greatest fear? Not nuclear apocalypse or robot overlords, but something 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 horrifying: surviving two hours phone-free.

So, challenge accepted – last Sunday I ventured into the unknown at a Digital Detox event organized by The Offline Club in Amsterdam – kudos to Ilya Kneppelhout for hosting it.

The rules were simple: surrender your phone at the door and engage in some old school, wholesome activities like reading, face-to-face conversations, board games or even (😱) writing.

No scrolling, no notifications, and no social media. The effects? I came out feeling recharged and connected.

The truth is, we’re all phone addicts. Look around any bus or train—every face is lit up by the glow of a screen, lost in a digital world, starving for genuine connection but endlessly scrolling social media.

We need our phones and it’s hard to live without social media – I’m writing this on a social platform – but most of us feel we’ve become 𝘵𝘰𝘰 dependent on them.

It’s a tough battle: apps are designed to be addictive, success being measured in time spent on the app. A 2023 University of Michigan study even shows teens get an average 240 (!) phone notifications every day.

The impact on your brain? Increased stress, anxiety, and less ability to focus – both at work and in our private lives.

What can you do?
– Turn off notifications
– Set time-limits on apps
– When in conversation, keep phones from the table
– Create phone-free rooms (bedroom) or moments (lunch, dinner)
– Use the grayscale mode on your phone (for iPhone – Settings – Accessibility – Display Text & Size – Color Filters)

After I came home I discovered I forgot something: my phone, which was still in the box. To me, that’s a successful event. 😀

This week, I’m committing to one hour daily of digital silence. 📵

Which brave souls are joining me? 💪

focus mobile devices phone addiction productivity

Make Your Meetings Great – And Save Time And Energy

Ever wondered why your meetings rarely end before their scheduled end time?

*𝗦𝘂𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲*

*𝗗𝗿𝘂𝗺-𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹*

Most of us love to talk!

Ok, that probably didn’t come as a surprise.

While talking builds connection, having days full of long calls depletes our energy.

And we’re all busy, sometimes overworked.

We spend so much time in calls,
calls that don’t end when they served their purpose.

They end when the time is up. Or after.

Then we rush to the next one, skipping lunch, feeling stressed.

How can we do this better?

As a team, take ownership of your time and productivity, together.

I created a team agreement for you that can help you.

Give it a try. Let me know how many free hours you gained this month!

See -Free Downloads – for the document.

conference calls meetings remote working

Outsmarting AI – Why Human Skills Are Your Super Power In 2024

With AI increasingly handling technical tasks, the spotlight is on human skills – those essential, automation-resistant qualities that enrich our work interactions.

Think empathy, compassion, intuition, and leadership; they’re not just nice to have, they’re crucial for your career success.

Recent insights from 650 L&D and HR leaders confirm this trend, placing human skills on the second highest priority on the L&D agenda, just after business skills. As AI transforms technical work, the human touch grows in importance.

Particularly for leaders, strong human skills are becoming indispensable. (‘𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴’? – 2023 called, they want you back).

Case in point: “Manager effectiveness”, which is includes human skills like leadership and adaptability, is now the #1 concern for HR leaders worldwide (𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦: 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘑𝘰𝘣 𝘚𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 2024). This indicates a growing emphasis on these competencies in modern management.

If you’re ready to develop these skills but unsure where to start, consider Active Listening, a foundational element of true connection and communication.

Transitioning from listening to analyze to listening to understand was a personal gamechanger for me. 💡

This key skill strongly supports workplace communication and relationships. There are plenty of resources, including many free YouTube videos, to help you get started.

Enhancing these human skills in 2024 and beyond will not only keep us relevant, but also amplify our impact in an AI-driven professional world.

At the beginning of this new year, take a moment to consider: which human skill do you want to strengthen in 2024? Your choice could significantly shape your professional path.

AI coaching emotional intelligence Management

A Quick And Easy Way To Increase Happiness

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗽𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲?

Having explored the value of showing appreciation in our professional lives, I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Did it bring a new energy to your work interactions?

Today I’d love to share some insights with you around how gratitude can benefit you in your personal life.

Feeling grateful has been scientifically proven to trigger positive changes in your brain. It boosts the production of serotonin and dopamine – the neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of happiness and well-being.

At the same time, it lowers cortisol levels, effectively reducing stress.

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲

An easy way to embed gratitude in your life, is to start a gratitude journal. Each day, take a moment to write down three things you’re grateful for. These could be simple joys, friends or loved ones, or the beauty in everyday moments.

Or, integrate gratitude into a daily ritual, like sipping your morning coffee, to reflect on who or what brings positivity into your life.

𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂

Personally, I try to include the often-overlooked miracles in my gratitude practice. Our ability to see the sunrise, hear music, or simply the fact of being alive today are extraordinary gifts. Recognizing these aspects can bring a deeper sense of appreciation and joy to your life.

𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗬𝗼𝘂

I encourage you to try a two-minute daily practice for the next two weeks, and to avoid negative thoughts or words during those 2 minutes. Research shows this leads to the biggest results. Observe how this small commitment can lead to a noticeable shift in your stress levels and overall happiness.

Good luck! 🙏🏻

appreciation feeling better gratitude happiness

Why Is Psychological Safety A Game-Changer At Work?

What sets high-performing teams apart?

It’s not just skills or hard work—it’s the climate of trust they operate in, where making mistakes is not a fireable offense but a growth opportunity.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending an eye-opening workshop by Gabriele Galassi, organized by the inspiring the D2 collective.

The topic: psychological safety at work.

A standout insight?

Google’s research shows that top teams succeed not because they are smarter, but because there is more psychological safety.

Psychological safety is 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬-𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Safer to speak up, challenge norms, make mistakes, report errors and give each other tough feedback.

A few more learnings from yesterday I want to share with you:

📌 Having a great variation of nationalities on a team promotes psychological safety.

📌 Team cohesion is another strong predictor of performance. Teams where members are willing and able to establish strong relationships, to listen and feel empathy for each other and to give and take feedback, perform better than regular teams.

📌 In the workplace, we start overvaluing tasks over relationships. Starting the day with a relationship-building exercise over a task-oriented meeting, can have surprisingly beneficial results.

📌 A characteristic of high-performing teams is that members speak roughly in equal measure, keeping contributions short and sweet.

Improving psychological safety and team cohesion is one of the topics I work on with my ambitious leadership development clients.

Do you want to boost your team’s performance too?

Let’s connect!

coaching Leadership performance psychological safety

How To Be Assertive AND Empathetic?

Too hard or too soft? It’s not a pillow question—it’s about leadership style.

An effective leader knows how to combine assertiveness with empathy.

Assertiveness doesn’t mean being harsh; it’s about finding the right balance between passivity and aggression.

Empathy isn’t about just accepting everything – it’s about truly understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings.

A 2500-year-old practice I’ve grown to love for increasing empathy and compassion is ‘Metta’, or ‘loving-kindness’ meditation.

I was skeptical at first, but integrating it into my routine increased my empathy and changed how I connect with others.

How to practice ‘𝗠𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗮’?

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁: Sit comfortably, close your eyes.

𝗩𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁: Start by picturing your best friend. Wish them health, happiness, and well-being. Connect with these feelings.

𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲: Gradually move to someone neutral, like a helpful store clerk, and then to someone you have difficulties with or don’t like.

𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹: Remember, this isn’t just for them; it’s for enhancing your own emotional powers.

By practicing these steps, you’re strengthening your empathy muscle by creating stronger neural pathways for compassion and empathy in your brain.

Interested in mastering both assertive and empathetic leadership?

Let’s chat about how these skills can transform your approach and help you lead more effectively.

Assertiveness EQ meditation Metta