How to Feel More Appreciated at Work: Leading by Example

Leadership coaching Amsterdam | David Buirs

Statistics show that two out of three professionals do not always feel appreciated at work. Feeling valued is a fundamental human need; a lack of it leads to demotivation and the feeling of being unseen. While you cannot force others to show gratitude, you can influence the culture of your team. If you are wondering how to feel more appreciated at work, the answer often lies in taking the initiative yourself.

The Reciprocity of Appreciation

Appreciation is not a one-way street. In my experience as a leadership coach, I often see that the most respected managers are those who actively recognize the value in others. Showing gratitude is as fulfilling as receiving it. It strengthens professional relationships and builds a foundation of trust.

By leading with appreciation, you set a standard. When you make it a habit to acknowledge the contributions of your peers or direct reports, you create an environment where recognition becomes the norm rather than the exception.

A Practical Challenge for Leaders

Gratitude does not always have to be spontaneous to be effective. What matters is that it is genuine. I challenge you to express sincere appreciation to three colleagues over the next ten days. This could be a manager, a direct report, or a peer from a different department.

To help you identify these moments of value, consider the following questions:

  1. Exceeding Expectations: Who recently went above and beyond their role to support you? How did their contribution impact your workload or stress levels?
  2. Character Traits: Which colleague possesses a positive trait, such as patience or analytical sharpness, that you value? Share why you appreciate that specific quality.
  3. Culture and Impact: Who has made a positive impact on the team culture lately? What was the tangible result of their attitude?
  4. Growth and Advice: Who offered valuable insights that helped you progress on a project? Acknowledge how their advice contributed to the final result.

Taking Control of Your Professional Environment

Waiting for appreciation can lead to frustration and a sense of powerlessness. Taking the lead in recognizing others is a form of personal leadership. It shifts the focus from what you are lacking to what you can contribute to the professional climate.

If you find that despite your efforts, the lack of recognition is structural, it might be time to look at your leadership style or the dynamics within your team. My management training programs are designed to help new managers navigate these exact challenges, moving from pleasing behavior to authentic and impactful leadership.

The more you integrate appreciation into your daily routine, the more likely it is to return to you. It is a strategic way to build a culture where everyone feels seen and motivated.

Want experienced support in your journey to become a better leader? Let’s talk. Schedule your free introduction here.

AI and Leadership – How do Managers Prepare for the Future?

AI and Leadership event

AI sometimes reminds me of the game peek-a-boo. Every time you open your eyes, it has moved closer, and much faster than you think.

As a leadership coach and trainer, I’m very interested in AI and its implications for leadership. That’s why I attended the D2 collective’s “Leading the Next Generation of Work” event at the Prosus office this week, listening to senior leaders from companies like Microsoft and Prosus. Again, I’m amazed by how fast things are moving.

Especially around the role of agents: pieces of software you can program using natural language through tools like ChatGPT or Gemini. They execute tasks and work autonomously.

For example, you can say: “When a customer emails about a refund, pull up the customer data, decide whether to approve it based on these criteria. If approved, initiate the refund and reply with a confirmation”.

Without human intervention. Some companies have up to 30,000 different agents. Whatever one learns, others pick up immediately. The speed of learning is tremendous.

In the coming years, most of us will be managing agents. This sounds either amazing or dystopian, depending on your perspective. But the predictions go further: many of us will be managed by an AI agent. We also expect the first billion-dollar company run by a single human, assisted by agents, within the next few years.

This will significantly impact the job market. Technical knowledge on an individual level will become less valuable and companies will likely need fewer employees. We are already seeing this trend.

As agents take on more and more tasks, a human will need to be accountable for the outcome. Job descriptions will shift from a focus on tasks to a focus on accountability.

The traditional role of middle management has been to relay information from the floor to leadership. AI can do this more efficiently, making traditional middle management either obsolete or frees them to focus on coaching and support.

In general, I expect companies to need fewer managers. Because typical managerial tasks can be automated, time is freed up for leadership work like coaching.

My advice to all managers: start developing those human skills now.

We are not powerless. Certain skills will become increasingly relevant to staying valuable in the job market:

• Judgment and critical thinking: A human remains responsible for the outcome. AI can make mistakes.

• Curiosity: Having powerful AI without knowing asking the right questions is like owning a Ferrari you cannot drive. “Garbage in, garbage out” still applies.

• Emotional intelligence: As technical work is automated, what remains are interpersonal tasks like coaching, communication, and brainstorming.

How to start? If you’re not using AI yet, start practicing with LLMs like ChatGPT or Gemini. If you already do, practice creating better prompts or try building your first agent for a simple task.

In my leadership coaching and management training, I help my clients to stay relevant over the coming years.

Interested? Let’s talk. Schedule your free introduction here.