Tag: Management

How to Handle Performance Reviews Without Losing Trust as a New Manager

Clammy hands. Lead in your shoes. A conversation you don’t want to have.

You feel your team member has been underperforming this year. You’ve been struggling with what to tell him. The rating you’re giving him means no salary increase. You know he disagrees and that the conversation might escalate.

You prepare for an unpleasant experience. Hoping for the best.

<<pause here>>

Performance reviews. Still used in many companies, and about as fun as getting a root canal.

But they don’t have to be.

What can help you make these conversations easier?

𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀.

Without these, it’s hard to fairly assess their performance, and explain your decision.

𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵-𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿.

There should be no surprises during a performance review conversation. It should be a high-level summary of all performance related conversations that year. Most of us postpone feedback because we fear confrontation. The reason? The incorrect assumption that giving feedback is a negative thing. It’s not. Giving constructive feedback is an essential part of your work, and necessary for your team to grow.

𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱.

As a manager, some decisions, like who gets which raise or promotion, will piss of certain people. That’s why it’s so important to act with clarity and integrity, setting clear goals, and being able to explain your decisions.

People might get emotional, even angry. That’s okay. When that happens, give them some space to either vent or let it out. During heated moments, pause talking about the topic itself, address the emotions calmy, and continue with the topic when things have settled down.

Even if you do all these things, you still might have to deliver bad news (like no raises due to budget cuts). The better you can explain your team why, the easier the conversation. And the better you understand your management’s reasoning, the better you can pass on the message. Don’t be afraid to ask your manager all the questions you need in order to do this.

When done well, performance reviews mean your team knows what success looks like, how to get there, and how they’ll be rewarded.

performance review

Managing people you don’t like

David Buirs Management Trainer

When Do You Become Too Self-critical?

“I’m just holding myself to a high standard.”
Are you?
Or are you just being harsh?

There’s a subtle trap many high performers fall into—especially new managers:

Mistaking self-criticism for motivation.

We think:
☑ “If I don’t push myself, I’ll get lazy.”
☑ “That wasn’t good enough—I should’ve done better.”
☑ “I need to be tough on myself, or I won’t improve.”

But neuroscience and psychology tell a different story.

🔬 Studies show that self-compassion, not self-judgment, leads to higher resilience, motivation, and long-term growth.

It’s not about going easy on yourself.
It’s about not tearing yourself down.

Here’s what helps me reframe:

“I did my best with the resources I had at that moment. Now, what can I learn for next time?”

That mindset still drives improvement—but without the emotional bruising.

Leadership is already tough. You don’t have to lead yourself with a whip.

anxiety Leadership

Dealing with Criticism at Work: The Silent Growth Killer for New Managers

David Buirs Leadership Coach

criticism feedback leadership coaching leadership development management tips starting managers

How To Stop Negativity From Spreading In Your Team

Negativity spreads fast.

One complaint turns into a group venting session.
One frustration becomes the team’s mood.

I’ve seen it happen. And as a manager, it can make you feel powerless.

Especially when the frustration is about things outside your control—like salaries, company policies, or strategic decisions made higher up.

You don’t want to silence people. They have the right to voice concerns.
At the same time, research shows that some ways of dealing with negativity—like avoidance, suppression, or manipulation—only make things worse. Instead of resolving tension, these approaches allow negativity to fester or resurface in unproductive ways.

So, how do you manage it?

1. Acknowledge, but don’t amplify

Let people vent, but don’t fuel the fire.
“I hear you. This is frustrating. What do you think we can do within our control?”
Redirect the conversation toward action.

2. Reframe the narrative

Negativity thrives in a vacuum. If people lack context, they assume the worst.
As a manager, you can help reframe the situation:
“I get why this feels unfair, but here’s the bigger picture…”

This is called reappraisal—shifting how we interpret a situation. Studies show that once a new perspective spreads among 25-40% of a group, the rest will likely adopt it too.

3. Set the emotional tone

Your team will take cues from you. Stay calm, steady, and constructive.

Negativity isn’t the enemy. But letting it take over is.

Strong leaders don’t ignore emotions. They help teams process them—without getting stuck.

negativity toxic

A controversial take on giving feedback..

Sometimes, not giving feedback is selfish.

We avoid it for two main reasons:

We want to be liked.
We fear confrontation.

Both are natural, but they’re also self-centered.

By holding back, we deny the other person a chance to grow. We think we’re sparing them, but really, we’re protecting ourselves.

I used to do this all the time early in my career. I withheld feedback, afraid of being disliked, or gave it only to boost my team’s performance, which ultimately served my interests. Neither approach worked.

Here’s what I’ve learned: feedback, when done right, is an act of care.

Give it regularly. Make it constructive—something they can actually use to improve.

Consider both dimensions:

Rational: Be specific. Give it promptly. Offer clear suggestions for improvement.
Emotional: Come from a place of genuine care. Don’t see the person as a problem to be fixed, but as someone worth investing in.

When feedback is both clear and compassionate, people will be more open to it.

It’s normal for it to feel awkward, especially when you’re new to leadership.

But if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not leading.

Try it out, and let me know how it goes.

Leadership Leadership Leadership Leadership Leadership

Honesty, Curiosity and Self-Reflection

This might be controversial, but here’s something we need to talk about…

Social media is flooded with leadership quotes. We like them, we share them, and we think, “Gosh, when will my manager finally get this?” 🙄

But how often do we take a hard look at our own leadership?

Here’s the irony – most managers are on LinkedIn daily, yet many teams are still struggling.

It’s easy to scroll through content and believe the advice is for others. But true leadership starts with self-examination.

Are we actively seeking out feedback, especially when it’s tough to hear? Do we confront our own shortcomings?

Next time you come across a leadership quote, challenge yourself: Am I living up to this standard with my team?

If yes – how can you actually verify if this is true?

Keep the Dunning-Kruger effect in mind – people who objectively score among the bottom 0-25% on a particular skill rate themselves in the 50-75% bracket.

Unconscious incompetence is quite common.

❗ If you believe you’re doing great, but your team is consistently difficult or disengaged, it might be a sign to reevaluate your approach.

Here’s the truth – the leaders who practice honest self-reflection grow the fastest. They get promoted faster, score better on performance reviews, and lead happier teams.

Let’s not just scroll through inspirational quotes. Let’s live them.

Imagine the impact you could have by truly applying these principles.

Reflect deeply, lead with authenticity, and watch your team – and yourself – flourish. 💪

self-development

How To Have Difficult Conversations As Manager?

Struggling with tough conversations as a new manager? You’re not alone—over 90% of your peers feel the same.

I’ve certainly been there. Feeling anxious before feedback sessions or dreading delivering bad news.

So what turns your regular chat into a difficult conversation?

1) 𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 ➡ ⬅
2) The 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 ❗
3) 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 run high 😨

Ironically, the more important the conversation, the harder it is to handle it well.

To guide you, I’ve created these slides for you. The information comes from a book I love: 𝘊𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.

With over 4 million copies sold, it’s a game-changer for leaders.

It helped me tremendously in my career. I hope it can help you too.

If you want to discuss specific situations that you find challenging, do reach out, I’d love to help.

See -Free Downloads- for the PDF file.

crucial conversations difficult conversations feedback feedback feedback feedback Management Management Management Management Management Management Management Management Management Management

Make Your Meetings Great – And Save Time And Energy

Ever wondered why your meetings rarely end before their scheduled end time?

*𝗦𝘂𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲*

*𝗗𝗿𝘂𝗺-𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹*

Most of us love to talk!

Ok, that probably didn’t come as a surprise.

While talking builds connection, having days full of long calls depletes our energy.

And we’re all busy, sometimes overworked.

We spend so much time in calls,
calls that don’t end when they served their purpose.

They end when the time is up. Or after.

Then we rush to the next one, skipping lunch, feeling stressed.

How can we do this better?

As a team, take ownership of your time and productivity, together.

I created a team agreement for you that can help you.

Give it a try. Let me know how many free hours you gained this month!

See -Free Downloads – for the document.

conference calls meetings remote working

Outsmarting AI – Why Human Skills Are Your Super Power In 2024

With AI increasingly handling technical tasks, the spotlight is on human skills – those essential, automation-resistant qualities that enrich our work interactions.

Think empathy, compassion, intuition, and leadership; they’re not just nice to have, they’re crucial for your career success.

Recent insights from 650 L&D and HR leaders confirm this trend, placing human skills on the second highest priority on the L&D agenda, just after business skills. As AI transforms technical work, the human touch grows in importance.

Particularly for leaders, strong human skills are becoming indispensable. (‘𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴’? – 2023 called, they want you back).

Case in point: “Manager effectiveness”, which is includes human skills like leadership and adaptability, is now the #1 concern for HR leaders worldwide (𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦: 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘑𝘰𝘣 𝘚𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 2024). This indicates a growing emphasis on these competencies in modern management.

If you’re ready to develop these skills but unsure where to start, consider Active Listening, a foundational element of true connection and communication.

Transitioning from listening to analyze to listening to understand was a personal gamechanger for me. 💡

This key skill strongly supports workplace communication and relationships. There are plenty of resources, including many free YouTube videos, to help you get started.

Enhancing these human skills in 2024 and beyond will not only keep us relevant, but also amplify our impact in an AI-driven professional world.

At the beginning of this new year, take a moment to consider: which human skill do you want to strengthen in 2024? Your choice could significantly shape your professional path.

AI coaching emotional intelligence