This is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my life.
For years, when feelings of anger, sadness, and fear came up, I tried to push them away, hoping they’d vanish. I’d look for distractions. Instead, they lingered on, sometimes for decades.
What actually works, is very counter-intuitive: embrace those emotions.
Feel them fully. Observe the physical expressions of the emotion in your body. Pay attention to the tightness in your chest, the constriction in your throat, the sting in your heart, the knot in your belly. Don’t try to change them. Just feel them, or better: welcome them.
𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸?
Emotions are signals from our subconscious. Once we truly feel them, they’ve served their purpose and can disappear. But resisting them activates different areas of our brain (our fight-flight-freeze system), keeping those emotions alive and kicking.
Embracing them doesn’t make deeply ingrained emotions disappear overnight, but it’s an essential part of letting them go.
It’s exactly the opposite of what 95% of us are doing, but it’s incredibly freeing, and it works.
For instance, if you’re about to present something to a big group and feel a rush of anxiety, our usual thought is: “Ugh, I wish I didn’t feel so anxious!”.
Next time, try this: pause, focus on the physical sensations, and allow yourself to feel the anxiety without trying to push it away. “I feel nervous, my chest feels tight, and that’s okay.”
Notice the tightness in your chest or the butterflies in your stomach. By acknowledging and feeling these sensations, you can reduce their power over you.
Take a moment today. Sit with whatever emotion is present. Feel it without judgment or negativity.
It can be tricky at first, but it’s definitely worth it.
Have you ever tried this method? What did it do for you?
I’d love to hear.
❗ Note: this is notns a solution to complex emotional issues or traumas, nor is it a substitute for therapy, when needed.