What do you do when your manager or client asks you to take on more workโwhen your schedule is already packed?
Most of us have two typical responses:
Say ๐๐ฒ๐, and brace yourself for even more ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด.
Say ๐ป๐ผ, and worry about coming across as ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ.
But thereโs a better wayโa skill borrowed from improv that can change everything.
Imagine this: Youโre in a meeting, and your manager suddenly asks you to โtake chargeโ of an urgent project. Your calendar is already full, but saying no feels risky.
Or picture this: A client asks for extra work, and the deadline is tight. Saying yes means youโll struggle to keep up with everything else, yet saying no might feel like letting them down.
This is where โ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑโฆโ comes in.
The phrase โYes, andโฆโ comes from improv theater. Instead of rejecting an idea, performers use it to build on each otherโs thoughts, creating a sense of flow.
In a work setting, it works much the same way. Hereโs how it sounds in practice:
โ๐ ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐จ๐ถ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ค๐ถ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ.โ
With โ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑโฆโ, you keep your response open and positive while setting clear boundaries. It helps you stay engaged without overcommitting.
The magic of โYes, andโฆโ is that it also:
โข Shows youโre willing to collaborate
โข Acknowledges that your time and energy are limited
โข Puts the choice back in their hands, giving them a sense of control
Next time someone asks you to do more than you can handle, try these two simple words.
Let me know how it goes ๐
What you resist, persists.
This is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my life.
For years, when feelings of anger, sadness, and fear came up, I tried to push them away, hoping they’d vanish. I’d look for distractions. Instead, they lingered on, sometimes for decades.
What actually works, is very counter-intuitive: embrace those emotions.
Feel them fully. Observe the physical expressions of the emotion in your body. Pay attention to the tightness in your chest, the constriction in your throat, the sting in your heart, the knot in your belly. Donโt try to change them. Just feel them, or better: welcome them.
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธ?
Emotions are signals from our subconscious. Once we truly feel them, theyโve served their purpose and can disappear. But resisting them activates different areas of our brain (our fight-flight-freeze system), keeping those emotions alive and kicking.
Embracing them doesnโt make deeply ingrained emotions disappear overnight, but itโs an essential part of letting them go.
It’s exactly the opposite of what 95% of us are doing, but itโs incredibly freeing, and it works.
For instance, if you’re about to present something to a big group and feel a rush of anxiety, our usual thought is: “Ugh, I wish I didn’t feel so anxious!”.
Next time, try this: pause, focus on the physical sensations, and allow yourself to feel the anxiety without trying to push it away. “I feel nervous, my chest feels tight, and that’s okay.”
Notice the tightness in your chest or the butterflies in your stomach. By acknowledging and feeling these sensations, you can reduce their power over you.
Take a moment today. Sit with whatever emotion is present. Feel it without judgment or negativity.
It can be tricky at first, but it’s definitely worth it.
Have you ever tried this method? What did it do for you?
I’d love to hear.
โ Note: this is notns a solution to complex emotional issues or traumas, nor is it a substitute for therapy, when needed.
How To Make Meditation And Mindfulness A Part Of Your Life To Reduce Anxiety And Increase Happiness
Whatโs the connection between The Muppets and mindfulness? Stick with meโthis isn’t the setup for a joke.. (Could be a great one though.)
Remember Waldorf and Statler, the critics in the balcony? Theyโre a metaphor for our own minds: often negative, judging ourselves and others.
Evolutionarily, that makes perfect sense. Your brain – basically a radar scanning for danger – evolved in dangerous times.
Tigers could jump out of every bush. ๐
In modern times this constant scanning causes anxiety and unhappiness.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ๐-๐๐ผ-๐ด๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐?
You canโt completely silence those inner critics.
Theyโre hard-wired into your brain. (And small, short doses of self-criticism can be healthy.)
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐?
Meditation offers an escape.
It allows you to step out of the balcony and watch those grumpy guys go on and on from a distance.
Realizing you donโt have to listen to or reply to everything they say is such a relief. Most of it isn’t true anyway.
Two years ago I started a daily meditation practice. It gave me more peace of mind, positivity and focus. It reduced many of my worries.
Curious about meditation, and unsure where to begin? Try this:
โธ Set an alarm or โณfor 5/10 mins.
โธ Sit comfortably, eyes closed.
โธ Focus on your breath.
โธ Thoughts will interruptโ you canโt stop them. Imagine Waldorf and Statler doing their usual thing.
โธ Label these thoughts as thoughts, without engaging with them. Like watching clouds drift by.
โธ Keep going back to your breath.
Thatโs it.
Regular practice increases the amount of grey matter in your brain, increasing cognitive function. ๐ง (Or in less fancy terms: makes you smarter.)
It also boosts mood, focus and productivity and lowers stress and anxiety. It really works.
Does this mean thinking is bad? Absolutely not. But use it as a tool, when you need it.
Ready to stop being puppeteered by your thoughts? Give meditation a go. ๐๐ป
Call 0800-MEDITATION for support. Or schedule a call with me.
Freeing Up More Time For The Things That Matter – Prioritizing Your Tasks
“Thereโs never enough time in the day! What can I do about this?โ ๐ In our professional lives, urgent tasks and looming deadlines can leave us feeling stretched thin and stressed, draining our energy and creating anxiety.
This challenge echoes through the experiences of many professionals I’ve connected with recently. Especially in dynamic and high-pressure industries, the struggle to find time for what truly matters is real.
We prioritize the urgent over the important.
The price we pay? We neglect investing in ourselves. We constantly put out fires, and donโt get to doing those things that prevent fires from breaking out or prepare us best for future opportunities.
โถ Enter the Important vs Urgent (โEisenhowerโ) matrix, a game-changer for those shifting from a reactive to a strategic approach.
Saying no to or delegating urgent but not important tasks might feel counterintuitive initially, but frees up precious time for activities that actually move the needle for you โ whether itโs learning about new technologies, staying up to date on case law, or following that leadership, mindfulness or communication training.
The template below can help you reprioritize your time and energy. โก
And when you freed up that time, how can you be the most effective? Tip #1: Avoid distractions.
The constant need to respond immediately to messages and emails hijacks productivity and creates stress. Did you know it takes an average of 23 minutes to refocus after a distraction?
Scheduling uninterrupted time for your important work is a huge productivity booster. Here are 3 tips:
ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Try setting your OOO to โFocussed work time โ call for emergenciesโ for an hour daily, and turn off Teams. ๐คซ
ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Use the ‘Pomodoro technique’ (named after a pomodoro kitchen timer): 25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break, repeat 3-4 times. ๐
ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Turn your phone’s messaging notifications off and put it out of sight. ๐ต
Freeing up this time can make a big impact over time: freeing up 2 hours for important work per week translates to around 100 hours per year.ย
- See ‘Free Downloads‘ for the Eisenhower Matrix PDF.
What Problems And Questions From My Team Should I Take On – And What Not?
Who else has felt the overwhelming urge to solve every problem that lands on their desk?
It’s a common trap for new managers, feeling like you need to be the hero.
Imagine walking around with a big backpack. ๐
Every time your team comes to you with a problem, you have a choice โ do you accept the problem and add it to your backpack, or not?
Put too much in your backpack, and you wonโt be able to move anymore.
Great leadership isn’t about how many problems you can solve; it’s about how many problems you can teach your team to solve.
๐ Hereโs a quick tip: Think of yourself as a guide rather than a fixer.
Next time a direct report comes to you with an issue, ask, “What part of this can you handle, and what do you need my help with? What solution have you considered?โ.
This empowers them and helps you prioritize your own workload.
๐ If you’re unsure whether to take on a problem, consider if it aligns with your key responsibilities. If it doesn’t, it’s likely not yours to solve.
Coaching your team to handle challenges not only lightens your load but also builds their confidence and skills.
This fosters a culture of problem-solving, innovation, and ownership.
Lastly, at a later moment, check-in and reflect with your team around problems you asked them to solve themselves, to build trust and enhance learning.
The Importance Of Taking Regular Breaks And Making Small Changes In Your Environment
Yesterday, something amazing happened in Amsterdam.
After months of cold and rain, suddenly the mercury hit 18 degrees โ very rare for a day in March. ๐
This beautiful weather had a remarkable effect โ it completely changed the city’s vibe. People were smiling more, looked happier, and seemed more energetic.
It reminded me of how much a change in environment can impact your mood.
I often see the same during coaching, where even moving to a new spot in the room can change your mood, perspective or feelings.
Let’s connect this to how many of our days look; spending hours behind screens.
Apparently, and I only stumbled upon this mind-blowing fact recently: Zoom didnโt exist 20,000 years ago ( ๐ฒ!!).
Our brains havenโt yet evolved to deal with Zoom-a-thons.
What can you do?
Create several of these mini-spring moments throughout your day.
Every few hours, go for a short walk outside.
Or put on your favorite song and dance.
Or do some stretching.
Anything that gets your body moving.
These changes in the environment work like resets for your brain.
As the picture below shows: your brain needs to recharge – you can’t win all those Nobel prizes on an empty battery.
(The test person at the bottom, the one whose brain doesn’t look microwaved, took short breaks between calls.)