Author: davidbuirs.com

Great Leaders Are Great Communicators

Think of someone you know that communicates really well.

And someone that doesn’t.

What makes the difference?

Communication in leadership is like fine-tuning a musical instrument—it makes every performance better.

Especially for starting managers, getting this right from the beginning gives you a head start.

Here’s a challenge for you: 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵.

Need inspiration? Below you’ll find some ideas:

𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴
📌 Tip: Use reflective listening techniques, such as paraphrasing what the speaker has said to confirm understanding.

𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
📌 Tip: Before communicating, take a moment to organize your thoughts to ensure clarity and precision in your message.

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘂𝗮𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
📌 Tip: Remember WIIFM – “What’s In It For Me”? – A thought that’s often on our minds (we are human, after all). If you can pro-actively address this in your communication, you’re more convincing.

𝗔𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
📌 Tip: Adjust your communication style to match the preferences of your audience—some may prefer directness, while others may need more context.

𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸
📌 Tip: Regularly ask for feedback on your communication style and effectiveness, showing you value continuous improvement.

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗪𝗵𝘆
📌 Tip: When giving instructions, starting meetings or sharing updates, always explain the context. You might see the bigger picture, but your audience might not.

𝗔𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀
📌 Tip: Ask open-ended questions that start with “what” or “how” to encourage detailed responses and deeper discussions.

Improving how you communicate can dramatically enhance your interactions and the impact you can make.

The Most Important Realization In Your Life

Is there life before death?

Wow, easy there, buddy. What a morbid question!

For many of us in the West, contemplating death is taboo. We avoid it at all costs.

While in many philosophies and cultures, from the Stoics to current day Tibet, contemplating our mortality is seen as an essential part of life.

In the West, we often overvalue “time = money”, and believe we are here on Earth only to be productive.

We can get too focused on promotions, raises or material success, forgetting that those things in itself do not lead to happiness.

We act like we only live to work.

But is that true?

Let’s do a thought experiment..

What if you knew you only have 1 more month to live?

Would you then lay awake at night, thinking about what your manager said to you? Or about that presentation that didn’t go as planned?

Would you add that extra project to your already full schedule, or would you choose to spend more time with friends or family?

Would you spend your commute mindlessly scrolling the news, or would you enjoy the colours in the sky?

If you would do things differently after hearing that news – why not do it now?

Work is an essential part of our life. But it’s not the reason why we’re here.

Reflect on what it means to you to live a full and happy life.

You don’t even have to switch jobs, as there are many ways to make your current job more enjoyable and meaningful.

In the evening, spend five minutes reflecting on your day. Write about moments or people that made you feel alive, connected, or genuinely happy.

This helps in recognizing the value of your daily experiences beyond work achievements and material success.

Burning yourself out chasing after more senior titles or money will not get you what you hope for. It never does in the end.

Instead, work to make a positive impact – on your team, your company and for your clients.

Work to grow, learn, and have fun.

Work to connect with people.

Work to support your life outside of work.

You only have one life.

Make the most out of it.

coaching Fulfillment happiness self-development

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 2/2

I always saw myself as a good listener. Until I realized I wasn’t…

Last week I wrote about 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 – you keep getting promoted, until you hit the ceiling of your competence.

Then, the requirements of the role exceed your capabilities and you stop being promoted.

For competence, think about things like your ability to think strategically, your emotional intelligence, your leadership skills, your communication skills, or your ability to analyse complex problems.

Competence is not set in stone – you can increase it.

But here, we’re faced with an invisible enemy – the 𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗞𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁.

It’s a cognitive bias that makes people with low ability in a specific area, overestimate their ability in that area. It’s unconscious incompetence.

In many experiments, Dunning and Kruger’s observed that people who objectively score among the lowest 25%, rate themselves to be in the 50-75% range.

A practical example: many people who believe they are good listeners, in fact aren’t.

For me, the realization came when I truly listened to feedback. And then explored the topic of what listening is about, and how to become good at it.

Let’s tie last week’s post and this topic together:

• You keep getting promoted in organizations, until you hit your level of competence (𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲).
• To keep getting promoted, increase your level of competence.
• For those skills we need to increase our competence for, we overestimate our ability (𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗞𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁).
• This prevents us from putting in the effort to improve, which keeps our level of competence, and our career, where it is.

What can you do?

• Take assessments on particular skills required for your role.
• Ask for 360-feedback from your colleagues (anonymous or not). Be open to criticism.
• Question your beliefs about what you know and what you don’t yet know.
• Keep learning.

There is no need to become insecure and doubtful about your abilities. But realize information is power.

And, a few weeks after International Women’s Day, for managers and organisations, I also want to call out the 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲. It describes how many women in organisations work below their level of competence. Using objective data can help us counter this

So, identify the skills critical for your role and the next. Use data and feedback for an honest assessment, and then, take action.

Your future-you will thank you for it.

career Duning-Kruger Leadership Paula Principle

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 1/2

Imagine climbing a ladder, where each step represents a new level of achievement in your career.

Now, imagine there’s a step where, once you reach it, climbing further becomes impossible—not because the ladder ends, but because your ability to climb does. Welcome to the Peter Principle.

Coined by Dr. Laurence J. Peter in 1969, this principle suggests that in a company’s hierarchy, people tend to rise to their “level of incompetence.”

Simply put, most people are promoted based on their performance in their previous role. Until they reach a position where they’re no longer competent enough in that role.

And that’s where they stop.

The beauty—and challenge—of this concept lies in its silent alarm: to pause and introspect. It’s not a career death sentence but a wake-up call to continually evolve, to plug the gaps in our competence before they become career stoppers.

Because you actually can increase your level of competence.

Recognizing where you need to grow requires humility and curiosity—qualities essential for any leader aiming to defy the Peter Principle.

In essence, the ability to progress beyond your current capabilities is not only about acquiring new skills; it’s about self-awareness and the willingness to adapt.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀: assess what skills are needed for the 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 step, and actively develop those. Ask for honest feedback.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀/𝗛𝗥: promote people based on their suitability for their next role, not their performance on their current job. Create development programs.

So, how can you ensure your next promotion isn’t your last?

Stay tuned for part 2 of this series next week, where I’ll discuss a phenomenon that often goes hand-in-hand with the Peter Principle, keeping many from realizing their potential blind spots.

Hint: It’s not about your ability but your awareness of it.

career Peter Principle promotion self-awareness

How To Make Meditation And Mindfulness A Part Of Your Life To Reduce Anxiety And Increase Happiness

What’s the connection between The Muppets and mindfulness? Stick with me—this isn’t the setup for a joke.. (Could be a great one though.)

Remember Waldorf and Statler, the critics in the balcony? They’re a metaphor for our own minds: often negative, judging ourselves and others.

Evolutionarily, that makes perfect sense. Your brain – basically a radar scanning for danger – evolved in dangerous times.

Tigers could jump out of every bush. 🐅

In modern times this constant scanning causes anxiety and unhappiness.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁-𝘀𝗼-𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀?

You can’t completely silence those inner critics.

They’re hard-wired into your brain. (And small, short doses of self-criticism can be healthy.)

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀?

Meditation offers an escape.

It allows you to step out of the balcony and watch those grumpy guys go on and on from a distance.

Realizing you don’t have to listen to or reply to everything they say is such a relief. Most of it isn’t true anyway.

Two years ago I started a daily meditation practice. It gave me more peace of mind, positivity and focus. It reduced many of my worries.

Curious about meditation, and unsure where to begin? Try this:

▸ Set an alarm or ⏳for 5/10 mins.
▸ Sit comfortably, eyes closed.
▸ Focus on your breath.
▸ Thoughts will interrupt— you can’t stop them. Imagine Waldorf and Statler doing their usual thing.
▸ Label these thoughts as thoughts, without engaging with them. Like watching clouds drift by.
▸ Keep going back to your breath.

That’s it.

Regular practice increases the amount of grey matter in your brain, increasing cognitive function. 🧠 (Or in less fancy terms: makes you smarter.)

It also boosts mood, focus and productivity and lowers stress and anxiety. It really works.

Does this mean thinking is bad? Absolutely not. But use it as a tool, when you need it.

Ready to stop being puppeteered by your thoughts? Give meditation a go. 🙏🏻

Call 0800-MEDITATION for support. Or schedule a call with me.

focus mindfullness Stress

How To Have Difficult Conversations As Manager?

Struggling with tough conversations as a new manager? You’re not alone—over 90% of your peers feel the same.

I’ve certainly been there. Feeling anxious before feedback sessions or dreading delivering bad news.

So what turns your regular chat into a difficult conversation?

1) 𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 ➡ ⬅
2) The 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 ❗
3) 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 run high 😨

Ironically, the more important the conversation, the harder it is to handle it well.

To guide you, I’ve created these slides for you. The information comes from a book I love: 𝘊𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.

With over 4 million copies sold, it’s a game-changer for leaders.

It helped me tremendously in my career. I hope it can help you too.

If you want to discuss specific situations that you find challenging, do reach out, I’d love to help.

See -Free Downloads- for the PDF file.

crucial conversations difficult conversations feedback Management

Reduce Time Spent On Your Phone And Reclaim Your Focus And Productivity

Our greatest fear? Not nuclear apocalypse or robot overlords, but something 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 horrifying: surviving two hours phone-free.

So, challenge accepted – last Sunday I ventured into the unknown at a Digital Detox event organized by The Offline Club in Amsterdam – kudos to Ilya Kneppelhout for hosting it.

The rules were simple: surrender your phone at the door and engage in some old school, wholesome activities like reading, face-to-face conversations, board games or even (😱) writing.

No scrolling, no notifications, and no social media. The effects? I came out feeling recharged and connected.

The truth is, we’re all phone addicts. Look around any bus or train—every face is lit up by the glow of a screen, lost in a digital world, starving for genuine connection but endlessly scrolling social media.

We need our phones and it’s hard to live without social media – I’m writing this on a social platform – but most of us feel we’ve become 𝘵𝘰𝘰 dependent on them.

It’s a tough battle: apps are designed to be addictive, success being measured in time spent on the app. A 2023 University of Michigan study even shows teens get an average 240 (!) phone notifications every day.

The impact on your brain? Increased stress, anxiety, and less ability to focus – both at work and in our private lives.

What can you do?
– Turn off notifications
– Set time-limits on apps
– When in conversation, keep phones from the table
– Create phone-free rooms (bedroom) or moments (lunch, dinner)
– Use the grayscale mode on your phone (for iPhone – Settings – Accessibility – Display Text & Size – Color Filters)

After I came home I discovered I forgot something: my phone, which was still in the box. To me, that’s a successful event. 😀

This week, I’m committing to one hour daily of digital silence. 📵

Which brave souls are joining me? 💪

focus mobile devices phone addiction productivity

Make Your Meetings Great – And Save Time And Energy

Ever wondered why your meetings rarely end before their scheduled end time?

*𝗦𝘂𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲*

*𝗗𝗿𝘂𝗺-𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹*

Most of us love to talk!

Ok, that probably didn’t come as a surprise.

While talking builds connection, having days full of long calls depletes our energy.

And we’re all busy, sometimes overworked.

We spend so much time in calls,
calls that don’t end when they served their purpose.

They end when the time is up. Or after.

Then we rush to the next one, skipping lunch, feeling stressed.

How can we do this better?

As a team, take ownership of your time and productivity, together.

I created a team agreement for you that can help you.

Give it a try. Let me know how many free hours you gained this month!

See -Free Downloads – for the document.

conference calls Leadership Leadership Management Management meetings remote working

Outsmarting AI – Why Human Skills Are Your Super Power In 2024

With AI increasingly handling technical tasks, the spotlight is on human skills – those essential, automation-resistant qualities that enrich our work interactions.

Think empathy, compassion, intuition, and leadership; they’re not just nice to have, they’re crucial for your career success.

Recent insights from 650 L&D and HR leaders confirm this trend, placing human skills on the second highest priority on the L&D agenda, just after business skills. As AI transforms technical work, the human touch grows in importance.

Particularly for leaders, strong human skills are becoming indispensable. (‘𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴’? – 2023 called, they want you back).

Case in point: “Manager effectiveness”, which is includes human skills like leadership and adaptability, is now the #1 concern for HR leaders worldwide (𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦: 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘑𝘰𝘣 𝘚𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 2024). This indicates a growing emphasis on these competencies in modern management.

If you’re ready to develop these skills but unsure where to start, consider Active Listening, a foundational element of true connection and communication.

Transitioning from listening to analyze to listening to understand was a personal gamechanger for me. 💡

This key skill strongly supports workplace communication and relationships. There are plenty of resources, including many free YouTube videos, to help you get started.

Enhancing these human skills in 2024 and beyond will not only keep us relevant, but also amplify our impact in an AI-driven professional world.

At the beginning of this new year, take a moment to consider: which human skill do you want to strengthen in 2024? Your choice could significantly shape your professional path.

AI coaching emotional intelligence

A Quick And Easy Way To Increase Happiness

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗽𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲?

Having explored the value of showing appreciation in our professional lives, I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Did it bring a new energy to your work interactions?

Today I’d love to share some insights with you around how gratitude can benefit you in your personal life.

Feeling grateful has been scientifically proven to trigger positive changes in your brain. It boosts the production of serotonin and dopamine – the neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of happiness and well-being.

At the same time, it lowers cortisol levels, effectively reducing stress.

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲

An easy way to embed gratitude in your life, is to start a gratitude journal. Each day, take a moment to write down three things you’re grateful for. These could be simple joys, friends or loved ones, or the beauty in everyday moments.

Or, integrate gratitude into a daily ritual, like sipping your morning coffee, to reflect on who or what brings positivity into your life.

𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂

Personally, I try to include the often-overlooked miracles in my gratitude practice. Our ability to see the sunrise, hear music, or simply the fact of being alive today are extraordinary gifts. Recognizing these aspects can bring a deeper sense of appreciation and joy to your life.

𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗬𝗼𝘂

I encourage you to try a two-minute daily practice for the next two weeks, and to avoid negative thoughts or words during those 2 minutes. Research shows this leads to the biggest results. Observe how this small commitment can lead to a noticeable shift in your stress levels and overall happiness.

Good luck! 🙏🏻

appreciation feeling better gratitude happiness