How to Deal With Fear

Why Does “The Cave You Fear Hold the Treasure You Seek”?

I recently discovered this quote by Joseph Campbell in one of Brené Brown’s inspiring books: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.“

While reading it, I felt a strong ‘YES’! Because it captures how I’ve been trying to live the past few years.

For much of my life, I was quite shy, insecure, introverted. I felt trapped in an invisible cage of my own making. My dark cave contained many things—speaking up in groups, starting conversations with strangers, facing rejection, saying no to social invitations, or choosing work that aligned with my dreams, to name a few. Actually, mine was more of a giant storage hall than a cave.

Then, one day, after a profound personal experience, I began to see fear for what it is—just a feeling, like any other. Nothing more.

Fear has its place; without it, we wouldn’t survive. But there’s a difference between fear that signals real danger and self-limiting fear that holds us back.

So, I decided to do something uncomfortable every day. And slowly, my comfort zone has been expanding.

The treasure I found? Freedom and connection.

I left the safety of my previous career to now spending my days doing what I love. I’ve connected with so many interesting people by initiating a conversation. I no longer feel bad about expressing my opinions, expressing my needs, or saying no to things that don’t serve me.

Sure, there are still things that make me uncomfortable. But I choose to face them, and it gets easier every time.

Here are the steps I took, which you can do:

  1. Identify Your Cave: List the things that scare you, but aren’t dangerous. These are your self-limiting fears.
  2. Take Small Steps: Start small. Say hello to someone new. Share an idea in a meeting.
  3. Embrace Discomfort: Discomfort is temporary and a sign of growth.
  4. Reflect on Progress: Keep track of your experiences, and see your comfort zone expand.

Now, reading my progress log makes me smile. Some years years ago, saying, “Siri, play next song,” in a public place was something I struggled with.

This week, I’ll be speaking about leadership at public event.

Fear is still there—but it’s no longer in charge.

Difficult Conversations – Transforming Stress Into Connection

You’re about to walk into a performance review with a team member, knowing you have to deliver some tough feedback.

Your chest tightens, your breath becomes shallow, and your mind races with worst-case scenarios.

Sound familiar?

This kind of physical reaction is a natural response to stress, but it can also be a sign of a deeper issue: closing your heart to protect yourself.

We’ve all been hurt or disappointed in life, which may cause our hearts to close. When we close our hearts, we not only shut out pain but also joy, love, and connection.

This automatic defense mechanism, designed to protect us from physical threats, often leaves us feeling isolated and disconnected at work.

Living with an open heart, no matter what life throws at us, is challenging but highly rewarding. I know it sounds like a motivational poster, but let’s get practical.

Consider those moments right before difficult conversations or when receiving unexpected critical feedback.

The instinct to protect yourself causes physical constriction, especially around your chest.

You tense up, your breath becomes shallow, and your mind starts to close off, too.

Your mind and body are interconnected: the more you tense up, the more your mind focuses on perceived threats, the less connection you feel to others, the more your chest feels constricted.

Try this: each time you feel your chest tighten, consciously relax it.

Notice how often this happens throughout your day.

Slow your breathing and relax your entire body. This helps you stay calm and keeps your mind open.

When you’re open, you can connect more deeply with others. People will notice your openness and respond in kind, creating a ripple effect.

Take a deep breath, relax your chest, and embrace the day with an open heart. The rewards are immense.

The more you open up, the more the world opens up to you.

❤️