Struggling with tough conversations as a new manager? You’re not aloneโover 90% of your peers feel the same.
I’ve certainly been there. Feeling anxious before feedback sessions or dreading delivering bad news.
So what turns your regular chat into a difficult conversation?
1) ๐ข๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐๐ย โก โฌ 2) The ๐ผ๐๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ โ 3) ๐๐บ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ run high ๐จ
Ironically, the more important the conversation, the harder it is to handle it well.
To guide you, Iโve created these slides for you. The information comes from a book I love: ๐๐ณ๐ถ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด.
With over 4 million copies sold, itโs a game-changer for leaders.
It helped me tremendously in my career. I hope it can help you too.
If you want to discuss specific situations that you find challenging, do reach out, I’d love to help.
It’s not just skills or hard workโit’s the climate of trust they operate in, where making mistakes is not a fireable offense but a growth opportunity.
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending an eye-opening workshop by Gabriele Galassi, organized by the inspiring the D2 collective.
The topic: psychological safety at work.
A standout insight?
Googleโs research shows that top teams succeed not because they are smarter, but because there is more psychological safety.
Safer to speak up, challenge norms, make mistakes, report errors and give each other tough feedback.
A few more learnings from yesterday I want to share with you:
๐ Having a great variation of nationalities on a team promotes psychological safety.
๐ Team cohesion is another strong predictor of performance. Teams where members are willing and able to establish strong relationships, to listen and feel empathy for each other and to give and take feedback, perform better than regular teams.
๐ In the workplace, we start overvaluing tasks over relationships. Starting the day with a relationship-building exercise over a task-oriented meeting, can have surprisingly beneficial results.
๐ A characteristic of high-performing teams is that members speak roughly in equal measure, keeping contributions short and sweet.
Improving psychological safety and team cohesion is one of the topics I work on with my ambitious leadership development clients.
Do you want to boost your teamโs performance too?
Remember those 30-minute one-on-one meetings that felt more like a cozy chat than a productive meeting? We laughed, we talked, but often missed the key points.
It turns out, most managers, myself included, learned to conduct effective 1:1s more through slow experience than quick training.
Good 1:1s meet both the work and personal needs of your team.
Here’s how to make yours better:
1. ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ธ-๐ถ๐ป ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ฒ๐น๐น-๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ป๐ด: Be genuinely curious and caring about how your direct reports are doing. Example questions: “How did you feel this week?” “What was your best moment?” “How has your week been?”
2. ๐จ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐น ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ญ:๐ญ๐: Tools like Asana, Jira, or even Google Sheets are great to track your meetings. Both you and your team member should add updates and agenda points, and review those, before the meeting.
3. ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฎ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ด๐๐น๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ๐: Follow a set agenda. Cover open topics, action items, blockers, questions and successes. Save your valuable meeting time for discussion – you can share regular updates through the online tool.
4. ๐ฃ๐๐ป๐ฐ๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐: Starting on time and avoiding cancellations shows respect. It signals to your team you value their time.
5. ๐๐ผ๐น๐น๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฝ: If you promise to take an action, update your team on the progress. Itโs a great way to build trust. Ask the same from your team.
6. ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐น๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด: For leaders, information is gold. The leader that listens well has a big advantage. Listening also makes your team feel heard and cared about. (We all overestimate our ability to listen.)
7. ๐๐๐ธ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ณ๐น๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐พ๐๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐: Encourage them to think and reflect about their week. Ask about highlights and challenges. Instead of giving your ideal solution right away, ask them what they think first. This supports growth and learning.
Using these tips, you can turn 1:1s from simple chats into powerful tools for growth and success.
“Thereโs never enough time in the day! What can I do about this?โ ๐ In our professional lives, urgent tasks and looming deadlines can leave us feeling stretched thin and stressed, draining our energy and creating anxiety.
This challenge echoes through the experiences of many professionals I’ve connected with recently. Especially in dynamic and high-pressure industries, the struggle to find time for what truly matters is real.
We prioritize the urgent over the important.
The price we pay? We neglect investing in ourselves. We constantly put out fires, and donโt get to doing those things that prevent fires from breaking out or prepare us best for future opportunities.
โถ Enter the Important vs Urgent (โEisenhowerโ) matrix, a game-changer for those shifting from a reactive to a strategic approach.
Saying no to or delegating urgent but not important tasks might feel counterintuitive initially, but frees up precious time for activities that actually move the needle for you โ whether itโs learning about new technologies, staying up to date on case law, or following that leadership, mindfulness or communication training.
The template below can help you reprioritize your time and energy. โก
And when you freed up that time, how can you be the most effective? Tip #1: Avoid distractions.
The constant need to respond immediately to messages and emails hijacks productivity and creates stress. Did you know it takes an average of 23 minutes to refocus after a distraction?
Scheduling uninterrupted time for your important work is a huge productivity booster. Here are 3 tips:
ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Try setting your OOO to โFocussed work time โ call for emergenciesโ for an hour daily, and turn off Teams. ๐คซ ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Use the ‘Pomodoro technique’ (named after a pomodoro kitchen timer): 25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break, repeat 3-4 times. ๐ ยทย ย ย ย ย ย Turn your phone’s messaging notifications off and put it out of sight. ๐ต
Freeing up this time can make a big impact over time: freeing up 2 hours for important work per week translates to around 100 hours per year.ย
See ‘Free Downloads‘ for the Eisenhower Matrix PDF.
Who else has felt the overwhelming urge to solve every problem that lands on their desk?
It’s a common trap for new managers, feeling like you need to be the hero.
Imagine walking around with a big backpack. ๐
Every time your team comes to you with a problem, you have a choice โ do you accept the problem and add it to your backpack, or not?
Put too much in your backpack, and you wonโt be able to move anymore.
Great leadership isn’t about how many problems you can solve; it’s about how many problems you can teach your team to solve.
๐ Hereโs a quick tip: Think of yourself as a guide rather than a fixer.
Next time a direct report comes to you with an issue, ask, “What part of this can you handle, and what do you need my help with? What solution have you considered?โ.
This empowers them and helps you prioritize your own workload.
๐ If you’re unsure whether to take on a problem, consider if it aligns with your key responsibilities. If it doesn’t, it’s likely not yours to solve.
Coaching your team to handle challenges not only lightens your load but also builds their confidence and skills.
This fosters a culture of problem-solving, innovation, and ownership.
Lastly, at a later moment, check-in and reflect with your team around problems you asked them to solve themselves, to build trust and enhance learning.
Yesterday, something amazing happened in Amsterdam.
After months of cold and rain, suddenly the mercury hit 18 degrees โ very rare for a day in March. ๐
This beautiful weather had a remarkable effect โ it completely changed the city’s vibe. People were smiling more, looked happier, and seemed more energetic.
It reminded me of how much a change in environment can impact your mood.
I often see the same during coaching, where even moving to a new spot in the room can change your mood, perspective or feelings.
Let’s connect this to how many of our days look; spending hours behind screens.
Apparently, and I only stumbled upon this mind-blowing fact recently: Zoom didnโt exist 20,000 years ago ( ๐ฒ!!).
Our brains havenโt yet evolved to deal with Zoom-a-thons.
What can you do?
Create several of these mini-spring moments throughout your day.
Every few hours, go for a short walk outside.
Or put on your favorite song and dance.
Or do some stretching.
Anything that gets your body moving.
These changes in the environment work like resets for your brain.
As the picture below shows: your brain needs to recharge – you can’t win all those Nobel prizes on an empty battery.
(The test person at the bottom, the one whose brain doesn’t look microwaved, took short breaks between calls.)
Suited for mid-level to senior team members, mentoring offers guidance and wisdom from personal experience. Guide your team members on their professional journey. Longer term.
Ideal for more senior team members, coaching is an equal partnership that promotes self-discovery and maximizes their potential. No advice or instructions are given.
Through questions, help your coachee discover what they want, and how theyโll get there. Only effective if coachee is motivated to be coached.
โ ๐๐ช๐ฑ: a good coach is a good listener โ practice active listening and ask open-ended questions.
Every team member, regardless of their role or seniority, might find value in training, mentoring, or coaching, tailored to their unique needs at different times.
Which of the three did you benefit the most from in your career?
