Managing a Negative Employee as a First-Time Manager: What Works

David Buirs | Leadership Expert

This article guides new leaders on managing a negative employee as a first-time manager. It distinguishes between temporary frustration and toxic patterns that harm team culture. Practical steps are provided for curiosity-based conversations and setting necessary boundaries.

Someone on your team is negative. Every meeting, they’ve got a complaint. Every decision gets an eye roll. Every new initiative gets a “yeah, but…”

Do you say something? Ignore it? You don’t want to shut people down, but you also can’t pretend this isn’t happening. Managing a negative employee as a first-time manager is one of the toughest early tests you will face.

Why First-Time Managers Freeze Up

Most new managers see negativity and do nothing. You worry about making it worse. You worry they’ll get defensive. You worry you’ll look like you can’t handle feedback.

So you wait. And hope it gets better.

It won’t.

The Oil Stain Effect

I’ve seen this multiple times. A negative employee starts complaining. At first, it’s just them. Then someone else joins in. Before you know it, half your team is focused on what’s wrong.

Negativity spreads like an oil stain. Team meetings become complaint sessions. Good ideas get shot down. People who were positive start wondering if they’re missing something.

But managing a negative employee as a first-time manager doesn’t mean crushing all complaints. Sometimes negativity is useful feedback wrapped in frustration. Your job is figuring out which one you’re dealing with.

Is This a Bad Day or a Pattern?

Watch for a bit. Is this person having a rough week, or is this who they are every day?

One bad day doesn’t make someone negative. Even a bad week doesn’t. People get frustrated. That’s normal.

But if it’s been three weeks and every conversation is negative, that’s a pattern. Patterns don’t fix themselves. The longer you wait, the harder the conversation gets.

When to Address It

Address it when:

  • It’s a pattern, not a one-off.
  • It’s affecting other people.
  • It’s about attitude, not legitimate concerns.

Let it go when:

  • Someone’s having a bad day.
  • They’re raising valid concerns (even if the tone isn’t perfect).
  • It’s directed at a problem, not at people.

The difference? “This process is broken because X” is feedback. “Everything here is terrible” is negativity.

How to Have the First Conversation

Start gentle. Be curious, not confrontational. This is a skill we often refine in leadership coaching, because the tone makes all the difference.

Pull them aside privately. Just a casual one-on-one.

“Hey, I’ve noticed you seem frustrated lately. Is everything okay? Is there something I can help with?”

No accusations. No “you’re being negative.” Just curiosity.

Most of the time, this opens things up. Maybe there’s something you didn’t know about. Listen. Really listen. Don’t defend or explain. Just hear them out.

If there’s a real issue underneath, work on fixing it together. “What would make this better?” Now you’re solving a problem, not managing an attitude.

If Nothing Changes

Sometimes the gentle approach doesn’t work. They seemed better for a day. Now they’re back to the same pattern.

This is when you set boundaries.

“We talked last week, and I thought we’d made progress. But I’m still hearing a lot of negativity in meetings. I need to be direct: this is affecting the team. When you [specific example], it makes it harder for everyone to stay focused.”

Be specific. Not “you’re always negative” but “in yesterday’s meeting, when Sarah suggested the new process, you immediately said it wouldn’t work without hearing her out.”

Then: “I want to support you, but I also need this to change. What do you need from me to make that happen?”

You’re still supportive. But you’re making it clear this can’t continue.

What Your Team Is Watching For

Your team is watching how you handle this. This is often a key topic in in-company management training: preserving the team culture.

If you let negativity run wild, they learn that complaining is fine. If you shut down all complaints, they learn to never speak up.

Managing a negative employee as a first-time manager is actually managing the culture of your whole team. Handle it well and everyone benefits. Avoid it and everyone suffers.

What to Do This Week

If you’ve got someone who’s consistently negative:

  1. Decide if this is a pattern or just a bad stretch.
  2. Schedule a casual one-on-one.
  3. Start with curiosity: “I’ve noticed you seem frustrated. What’s going on?”
  4. If nothing changes after two weeks, have the boundary conversation.

Your team needs someone who’s willing to have uncomfortable conversations when it matters.

Schedule a free introduction call. Just to see if there’s a click and where you might need help.

The Identity Crisis: What are we actually here to do?

David Buirs | Leadership Coach & Management Trainer

Summary: This article defines the fundamental responsibilities of a first-time manager by addressing the “Player-Coach Trap.” It argues that primary duties shift from technical output to human-centric leadership and providing team perspective. The core responsibility highlighted is the development of an inner compass through reflection to lead others effectively.

Welcome to the first edition of The Next Level Manager.

I am David. I want to help you find some breathing room in your own to-do list.

In my coaching work, I see the same pattern over and over. I call it the “Player-Coach Trap.” It happens when you think your value still comes from the technical tasks you used to do: the code, the deals, or the designs.

It does not.

The Shift: Leading from the Inside Out.

Moving to the next level means your priority has to change. You are not responsible for the work anymore; you are responsible for the people.

This requires a different kind of growth. It is not about learning a new software, but about developing the maturity to handle the human side of business. This is where “perspective” comes in. To bring it, move from giving the answer to asking deepening questions:

  • “What haven’t we thought of here?”
  • “What is a different way this could work?”
  • “What is the essence of what we’re trying to accomplish. Are we still moving towards that?”

The source of these questions must be your own deep sense of what you and your team’s mission is, and why. If you have that inner compass, you will naturally sense when the team deviates from the course. You’ll get it through reflection. Quiet, focused, thinking-time. Even 5 minutes a day is enough.

The Main Question to Ask

You can ask yourself: achieving what 3 objectives will make you score your year a 100/100 at the end? That’s where your compass is pointing.

You cannot give your team clarity if you do not have it yourself.

From this position of clarity, you can help your team gain perspective. Through questioning. By asking these questions, you don’t “fix” the problem for them; you help them see the path back to the track themselves. Giving someone the answer is like scrolling their social media feed for them: it’s forgotten the next minute. But helping them find new answers themselves, is what actually helps them grow, comparable to making their own social media post. That’s what they’ll remember.

The First Step

Leave the hero role behind. Your job is no longer to be the most productive person in the room, but to be the one who brings the most perspective to it. When you make that shift, you will feel it immediately. You’ll have achieved a different, more relaxed state. And from that, you can start making a much bigger impact.

The next level is not a promotion. It is a decision to lead from the inside out. It starts with you.