Tag: Management

How to Handle Performance Reviews Without Losing Trust as a New Manager

Clammy hands. Lead in your shoes. A conversation you don’t want to have.

You feel your team member has been underperforming this year. You’ve been struggling with what to tell him. The rating you’re giving him means no salary increase. You know he disagrees and that the conversation might escalate.

You prepare for an unpleasant experience. Hoping for the best.

<<pause here>>

Performance reviews. Still used in many companies, and about as fun as getting a root canal.

But they don’t have to be.

What can help you make these conversations easier?

𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀.

Without these, it’s hard to fairly assess their performance, and explain your decision.

𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵-𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿.

There should be no surprises during a performance review conversation. It should be a high-level summary of all performance related conversations that year. Most of us postpone feedback because we fear confrontation. The reason? The incorrect assumption that giving feedback is a negative thing. It’s not. Giving constructive feedback is an essential part of your work, and necessary for your team to grow.

𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱.

As a manager, some decisions, like who gets which raise or promotion, will piss of certain people. That’s why it’s so important to act with clarity and integrity, setting clear goals, and being able to explain your decisions.

People might get emotional, even angry. That’s okay. When that happens, give them some space to either vent or let it out. During heated moments, pause talking about the topic itself, address the emotions calmy, and continue with the topic when things have settled down.

Even if you do all these things, you still might have to deliver bad news (like no raises due to budget cuts). The better you can explain your team why, the easier the conversation. And the better you understand your management’s reasoning, the better you can pass on the message. Don’t be afraid to ask your manager all the questions you need in order to do this.

When done well, performance reviews mean your team knows what success looks like, how to get there, and how they’ll be rewarded.

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Managing People You Don’t Like

You’re about to start your 1:1 with a team member.
The one you don’t like.
And doesn’t like you.

I often write about empathy, compassion, and connection. But today I want to tackle a slightly taboo truth: 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩.

There will always be people you enjoy more, and less. And the feeling sometimes is mutual.

A few things I’ve learned:

𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲” 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘅.
It’s human to want approval—but overcompensating can feel inauthentic and burn you out.

𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵” 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘅.
Pulling away or treating them worse than others, an understandable response, isn’t fair and will make matters worse. It also lowers trust in you as a leader.

𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹.
What feels personal often isn’t. Maybe you got the role they wanted. Maybe your performance view clashes with theirs. Maybe you remind them of someone from their past. Maybe your communication styles just grate. The less you internalise it, the better you’ll lead.

Ask yourself: 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮’𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘺?

If yes: name the elephant in the room, calmly, without blame, and stress you want the best outcome for you both.
If no: still, you can ask, “Is there anything I can do to improve the way we work together?”

Leadership is a constant balancing act between the needs of your team, your client, your manager, and your company. You can’t make everyone happy.

If you find a balance that feels fair, serves the bigger picture, and doesn’t drain you dry, you’re doing great.

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How To Stop Negativity From Spreading In Your Team

Negativity spreads fast.

One complaint turns into a group venting session.
One frustration becomes the team’s mood.

I’ve seen it happen. And as a manager, it can make you feel powerless.

Especially when the frustration is about things outside your control—like salaries, company policies, or strategic decisions made higher up.

You don’t want to silence people. They have the right to voice concerns.
At the same time, research shows that some ways of dealing with negativity—like avoidance, suppression, or manipulation—only make things worse. Instead of resolving tension, these approaches allow negativity to fester or resurface in unproductive ways.

So, how do you manage it?

1. Acknowledge, but don’t amplify

Let people vent, but don’t fuel the fire.
“I hear you. This is frustrating. What do you think we can do within our control?”
Redirect the conversation toward action.

2. Reframe the narrative

Negativity thrives in a vacuum. If people lack context, they assume the worst.
As a manager, you can help reframe the situation:
“I get why this feels unfair, but here’s the bigger picture…”

This is called reappraisal—shifting how we interpret a situation. Studies show that once a new perspective spreads among 25-40% of a group, the rest will likely adopt it too.

3. Set the emotional tone

Your team will take cues from you. Stay calm, steady, and constructive.

Negativity isn’t the enemy. But letting it take over is.

Strong leaders don’t ignore emotions. They help teams process them—without getting stuck.

A controversial take on giving feedback..

Sometimes, not giving feedback is selfish.

We avoid it for two main reasons:

We want to be liked.
We fear confrontation.

Both are natural, but they’re also self-centered.

By holding back, we deny the other person a chance to grow. We think we’re sparing them, but really, we’re protecting ourselves.

I used to do this all the time early in my career. I withheld feedback, afraid of being disliked, or gave it only to boost my team’s performance, which ultimately served my interests. Neither approach worked.

Here’s what I’ve learned: feedback, when done right, is an act of care.

Give it regularly. Make it constructive—something they can actually use to improve.

Consider both dimensions:

Rational: Be specific. Give it promptly. Offer clear suggestions for improvement.
Emotional: Come from a place of genuine care. Don’t see the person as a problem to be fixed, but as someone worth investing in.

When feedback is both clear and compassionate, people will be more open to it.

It’s normal for it to feel awkward, especially when you’re new to leadership.

But if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not leading.

Try it out, and let me know how it goes.

Honesty, Curiosity and Self-Reflection

This might be controversial, but here’s something we need to talk about…

Social media is flooded with leadership quotes. We like them, we share them, and we think, “Gosh, when will my manager finally get this?” 🙄

But how often do we take a hard look at our own leadership?

Here’s the irony – most managers are on LinkedIn daily, yet many teams are still struggling.

It’s easy to scroll through content and believe the advice is for others. But true leadership starts with self-examination.

Are we actively seeking out feedback, especially when it’s tough to hear? Do we confront our own shortcomings?

Next time you come across a leadership quote, challenge yourself: Am I living up to this standard with my team?

If yes – how can you actually verify if this is true?

Keep the Dunning-Kruger effect in mind – people who objectively score among the bottom 0-25% on a particular skill rate themselves in the 50-75% bracket.

Unconscious incompetence is quite common.

❗ If you believe you’re doing great, but your team is consistently difficult or disengaged, it might be a sign to reevaluate your approach.

Here’s the truth – the leaders who practice honest self-reflection grow the fastest. They get promoted faster, score better on performance reviews, and lead happier teams.

Let’s not just scroll through inspirational quotes. Let’s live them.

Imagine the impact you could have by truly applying these principles.

Reflect deeply, lead with authenticity, and watch your team – and yourself – flourish. 💪

feedback feedback feedback self-development

How To Have Difficult Conversations As Manager?

Struggling with tough conversations as a new manager? You’re not alone—over 90% of your peers feel the same.

I’ve certainly been there. Feeling anxious before feedback sessions or dreading delivering bad news.

So what turns your regular chat into a difficult conversation?

1) 𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 ➡ ⬅
2) The 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 ❗
3) 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 run high 😨

Ironically, the more important the conversation, the harder it is to handle it well.

To guide you, I’ve created these slides for you. The information comes from a book I love: 𝘊𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.

With over 4 million copies sold, it’s a game-changer for leaders.

It helped me tremendously in my career. I hope it can help you too.

If you want to discuss specific situations that you find challenging, do reach out, I’d love to help.

See -Free Downloads- for the PDF file.

crucial conversations difficult conversations feedback

Make Your Meetings Great – And Save Time And Energy

Ever wondered why your meetings rarely end before their scheduled end time?

*𝗦𝘂𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲*

*𝗗𝗿𝘂𝗺-𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹*

Most of us love to talk!

Ok, that probably didn’t come as a surprise.

While talking builds connection, having days full of long calls depletes our energy.

And we’re all busy, sometimes overworked.

We spend so much time in calls,
calls that don’t end when they served their purpose.

They end when the time is up. Or after.

Then we rush to the next one, skipping lunch, feeling stressed.

How can we do this better?

As a team, take ownership of your time and productivity, together.

I created a team agreement for you that can help you.

Give it a try. Let me know how many free hours you gained this month!

See -Free Downloads – for the document.

conference calls meetings remote working

Outsmarting AI – Why Human Skills Are Your Super Power In 2024

With AI increasingly handling technical tasks, the spotlight is on human skills – those essential, automation-resistant qualities that enrich our work interactions.

Think empathy, compassion, intuition, and leadership; they’re not just nice to have, they’re crucial for your career success.

Recent insights from 650 L&D and HR leaders confirm this trend, placing human skills on the second highest priority on the L&D agenda, just after business skills. As AI transforms technical work, the human touch grows in importance.

Particularly for leaders, strong human skills are becoming indispensable. (‘𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴’? – 2023 called, they want you back).

Case in point: “Manager effectiveness”, which is includes human skills like leadership and adaptability, is now the #1 concern for HR leaders worldwide (𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦: 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘑𝘰𝘣 𝘚𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 2024). This indicates a growing emphasis on these competencies in modern management.

If you’re ready to develop these skills but unsure where to start, consider Active Listening, a foundational element of true connection and communication.

Transitioning from listening to analyze to listening to understand was a personal gamechanger for me. 💡

This key skill strongly supports workplace communication and relationships. There are plenty of resources, including many free YouTube videos, to help you get started.

Enhancing these human skills in 2024 and beyond will not only keep us relevant, but also amplify our impact in an AI-driven professional world.

At the beginning of this new year, take a moment to consider: which human skill do you want to strengthen in 2024? Your choice could significantly shape your professional path.

AI coaching emotional intelligence Leadership

How To Have Effective 1:1’s With Your Team Members

Remember those 30-minute one-on-one meetings that felt more like a cozy chat than a productive meeting? We laughed, we talked, but often missed the key points.

It turns out, most managers, myself included, learned to conduct effective 1:1s more through slow experience than quick training.

Good 1:1s meet both the work and personal needs of your team.

Here’s how to make yours better:

1. 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸-𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹-𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴: Be genuinely curious and caring about how your direct reports are doing. Example questions: “How did you feel this week?” “What was your best moment?” “How has your week been?”

2. 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗮 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟭:𝟭𝘀: Tools like Asana, Jira, or even Google Sheets are great to track your meetings. Both you and your team member should add updates and agenda points, and review those, before the meeting.

3. 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁: Follow a set agenda. Cover open topics, action items, blockers, questions and successes. Save your valuable meeting time for discussion – you can share regular updates through the online tool.

4. 𝗣𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: Starting on time and avoiding cancellations shows respect. It signals to your team you value their time.

5. 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽: If you promise to take an action, update your team on the progress. It’s a great way to build trust. Ask the same from your team.

6. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: For leaders, information is gold. The leader that listens well has a big advantage. Listening also makes your team feel heard and cared about. (We all overestimate our ability to listen.)

7. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: Encourage them to think and reflect about their week. Ask about highlights and challenges. Instead of giving your ideal solution right away, ask them what they think first. This supports growth and learning.

Using these tips, you can turn 1:1s from simple chats into powerful tools for growth and success.

1:1s Leadership Leadership Leadership Leadership Leadership meetings

Freeing Up More Time For The Things That Matter – Prioritizing Your Tasks

“There’s never enough time in the day! What can I do about this?” 😓 In our professional lives, urgent tasks and looming deadlines can leave us feeling stretched thin and stressed, draining our energy and creating anxiety.

This challenge echoes through the experiences of many professionals I’ve connected with recently. Especially in dynamic and high-pressure industries, the struggle to find time for what truly matters is real.

We prioritize the urgent over the important.

The price we pay? We neglect investing in ourselves. We constantly put out fires, and don’t get to doing those things that prevent fires from breaking out or prepare us best for future opportunities.

▶ Enter the Important vs Urgent (‘Eisenhower’) matrix, a game-changer for those shifting from a reactive to a strategic approach.

Saying no to or delegating urgent but not important tasks might feel counterintuitive initially, but frees up precious time for activities that actually move the needle for you – whether it’s learning about new technologies, staying up to date on case law, or following that leadership, mindfulness or communication training.

The template below can help you reprioritize your time and energy. ⚡

And when you freed up that time, how can you be the most effective? Tip #1: Avoid distractions.

The constant need to respond immediately to messages and emails hijacks productivity and creates stress. Did you know it takes an average of 23 minutes to refocus after a distraction?

Scheduling uninterrupted time for your important work is a huge productivity booster. Here are 3 tips:

·      Try setting your OOO to “Focussed work time – call for emergencies” for an hour daily, and turn off Teams. 🤫
·      Use the ‘Pomodoro technique’ (named after a pomodoro kitchen timer): 25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break, repeat 3-4 times. 🍅
·      Turn your phone’s messaging notifications off and put it out of sight. 📵

Freeing up this time can make a big impact over time: freeing up 2 hours for important work per week translates to around 100 hours per year.

See ‘Free Downloads‘ for the Eisenhower Matrix PDF.

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