๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต’๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ณ?
When people got angry at or around me, I used to feel very uncomfortable.
Today, I practice a different response: ๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐๐.
Anger can feel like an attack, but itโs rarely random.
In fact, anger often has a clear purposeโconscious or not.
People get angry because theyโre trying to achieve something.
โข Maybe they want you to stop doing something.
โข Maybe theyโre trying to control the situation.
โข Maybe theyโre protecting their ego, their reputation, or something they deeply care about.
Hereโs the proof that anger is goal-driven and not just uncontrollable emotion:
โช๏ธ ๐๐บ๐ฎ๐ด๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐-๐น๐ผ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ต๐ผ๐ผ๐น๐ถ๐ด๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฏ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ผ๐๐ฏ๐ฎ๐น๐น ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต.
Does the person yell at them? Noโbecause their goal in that moment is safety, not confrontation.
โช๏ธ ๐ก๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐ณ๐๐น ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ.
Do most people explode with anger? Noโbecause their goal is likely to maintain their job and reputation, even if they disagree.
If anger were uncontrollable, people would snap in these situations too. But they donโt.
๐๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ถ๐น๐น ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐ฝ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ถ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ผ๐ฎ๐น.
The next time a colleague gets angry at you, take a breath.
Instead of snapping back, ask yourself:
๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐โ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ผ๐ฎ๐น ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ?
Are they trying to feel heard? Are they trying to protect something?
This shift from defensiveness to curiosity helps you take control of the situation.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฐ๐ต ๐๐๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ผ: curiosity has been shown to deactivate the threat response in our brain, allowing us to engage more calmly and constructively in conflict. Itโs also linked to higher emotional intelligence, better relationships, and more effective conflict resolution.
This doesnโt mean tolerating bad behaviorโboundaries are still crucial.
But when you see anger as a sign of unmet needs rather than a personal attack, you stop reacting and start responding thoughtfully.
So next time someone gets angry, pause and ask:
๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐โ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐ด๐ผ๐ฎ๐น?
Youโll be surprised how much clarityโand calmโyou gain.
Other People’s Opinion of You… Theirs or Yours?
You know that team member that thinks you lack the experience?
Or the colleague that thinks your meeting contributions donโt add value?
It stings, doesnโt it?
Now, consider this..
Deep down, thereโs a good chance you believe these things about yourself .
We often project our own hidden insecurities onto others.
We assume they see the worst in us because we do.
And when someoneโs behavior even faintly matches our fear, it feels like confirmation.
For example:
Imagine someone who secretly believes theyโre unworthy of love.
They might think others dislike them, avoid them, or find them boring.
To compensate, they become people pleasersโsaying yes to everything, constantly seeking approval.
And when someone cancels plans or rejects their offer to help?
It cuts deep.
Not because of the action itself, but because it echoes that hidden belief:
Iโm not worthy.
Now, think about this:
If someone insulted your blue hair but you didnโt have blue hair, you couldnโt care less.
It wouldnโt resonate.
But when a comment mirrors your own fears? It hurts.
So, how can we break this cycle?
The next time you think, โThey must believe this about me,โ pause.
Ask yourself: Could this be something I believe about myself?
Instead of being upset with them, turn inward.
Reflect:
- Do I truly believe this about myself?
- Can I be absolutely sure itโs true?
- If not -is this belief helping me?
If it isnโt, start building a new beliefโone rooted in kindness and compassion towards yourself.
This shift wonโt happen overnight.
But with patience, you can rewrite the narrative.
And the world will start reflecting the version of you that you choose to believe in.
โค๏ธ
๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด > ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ – a Formula For Success
Learning > Change
This is a formula for success.
Your ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, the rate at which you adopt and expand your skills as leader, needs to exceed the rate at which your environment ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ด.
If not, you’ll fall behind and others will pass you by.
Has your learning kept up? Are you consistently making time for personal and professional development?
Prioritizing your full inbox, however inevitable and important it might feel, is short-term thinking. And it will never get empty.
As leaders, we face bigger expectations, more complex challenges, and higher stakes.
So how do you ensure your growth stays ahead of the curve? Here are three steps:
1๏ธโฃ Reflect Regularly
Block out time each week to review whatโs working, whatโs not, and what you can learn from it all.
2๏ธโฃ Seek Feedback
Blind spots grow in the dark. Ask for candid input oftenโdonโt wait for formal reviews.
๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ด: 95% ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ง๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ข๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ 10-15% ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ.
3๏ธโฃ Invest in Yourself
Read, take courses, or get help. Your development isnโt a โnice-to-haveโ but a โmust-have.โ
Change is inevitable. Falling behind doesnโt have to be.
How has your learning kept pace with your changing role over the past year?
How to Have Real Conversations & Connect With People
Person A: “I, I, I, me, me, me.”
Person B: “Fascinating! Because I, I, I, me, me, me.”
Person A: “That’s so true, reminds me of… I, I, I, me, me, me.”
This is how most ‘conversations’ go: two people taking turns talking about themselves.
Itโs not surprising. Weโre wired to think about ourselves most of the time.
But when all we do is talk about ourselves, we miss out on something important.
We donโt learn anything new.
We donโt grow.
We donโt build real connections.
๐ก ๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐. ๐๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐.
Person C makes conversations meaningful.
If someone brings up a topic, they ask questions like:
“What does that mean to you?”
“How did you get into that?”
“What do you like most about it?”
Person C doesnโt just talkโthey listen and learn.
This doesnโt mean you should never talk about yourself. Conversations are a two-way street. But when you go into a conversation with curiosity and a desire to learn, amazing things happen:
๐ You learn new things.
๐ You see the world in new ways.
โค๏ธ You build stronger relationships.
๐ค People feel heard and valued.
Next time youโre in a conversation, pause and ask yourself:
๐๐บ ๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐น๐, ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ?
This small change can make a big difference.
As a Leader, Do You Always Need to Have the Answer?
Youโre not a search engine.
But as a new leader, it can feel like you have to be one.
Your team asks questions. Pings you on Teams. Calls. Emails. And the instinct? Respond. Immediately. Every single time.
The problem? Constant interruptions chip away at your ability to focus, and focus is what you need most as a leader.
Itโs what allows you to steer the ship, plan strategically, and make thoughtful decisions for your teamโs success.
When you spend your days responding to every ping and notification, you lose the time and energy for the deep thinking that drives real progress.
What can you do?
โข ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐: Set a daily hour of uninterrupted focus for you and your team.
โข ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐: Encourage your team to solve what they can without you, building their confidence along the way.
โข ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐ฒ: Leadership is about guiding the team toward long-term success, not managing every moment.
Start protecting your focus.
Itโs the key to being the leader your team needs.
What if your manager or client gives you more work than you can handle?
What do you do when your manager or client asks you to take on more workโwhen your schedule is already packed?
Most of us have two typical responses:
Say ๐๐ฒ๐, and brace yourself for even more ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด.
Say ๐ป๐ผ, and worry about coming across as ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ.
But thereโs a better wayโa skill borrowed from improv that can change everything.
Imagine this: Youโre in a meeting, and your manager suddenly asks you to โtake chargeโ of an urgent project. Your calendar is already full, but saying no feels risky.
Or picture this: A client asks for extra work, and the deadline is tight. Saying yes means youโll struggle to keep up with everything else, yet saying no might feel like letting them down.
This is where โ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑโฆโ comes in.
The phrase โYes, andโฆโ comes from improv theater. Instead of rejecting an idea, performers use it to build on each otherโs thoughts, creating a sense of flow.
In a work setting, it works much the same way. Hereโs how it sounds in practice:
โ๐ ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐จ๐ถ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ค๐ถ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ.โ
With โ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑโฆโ, you keep your response open and positive while setting clear boundaries. It helps you stay engaged without overcommitting.
The magic of โYes, andโฆโ is that it also:
โข Shows youโre willing to collaborate
โข Acknowledges that your time and energy are limited
โข Puts the choice back in their hands, giving them a sense of control
Next time someone asks you to do more than you can handle, try these two simple words.
Let me know how it goes ๐
Starting Leaders – Don’t Fall For the Power Paradox.
Have you ever watched a colleague get promoted to team lead, only to see them change?
They start off grounded, empathetic, and fair. Then, slowly, that openness starts to fade. They seem less interested in feedback. More impulsive. And the empathy? Itโs like it vanished.
Sound familiar? This change isnโt uniqueโitโs a trap nearly every leader risks falling into.
This is the ๐ฃ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ , a term coined by psychologist Dacher Keltner.
And now it gets interest: it doesnโt just impact โother leaders.โ ๐๐๐๐จ ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช, ๐ฉ๐ค๐ค.
The Power Paradox concept explains how, as leaders gain power, they often lose the very qualities that like respect and trust that led them to power. Keltnerโs research shows that power affects the brain, triggering dopamine and sparking a โhighโ that can become addictive.
While it feels great, it also blunts social awareness, turning focus inward and making self-serving decisions feel โright.โ
If youโre a leader, donโt assume youโre immuneโ ๐ข๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด is the key to avoiding this trap.
๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒโ๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ด๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ ๐ถ๐:
- ๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐๐ต๐ ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ด๐๐น๐ฎ๐ฟ๐น๐: Empathy fades fast with power. Keep listening, and make a habit of asking your team what they really need. Adopt a regular โLoving/Kindnessโ meditation practice to increase empathy.
- ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ธ ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ: Power can make people reluctant to be honest. Show your team that you genuinely value their insights, not just their agreement.
- ๐ฆ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฑ: Real leadership is about serving others. Focus on the teamโs success and growth, not just your own.
- ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด Power drives impulsive decisions. Before you make a call, take a breath. Ask yourself: who does this really serve?
The Power Paradox is real, and it can sneak up on anyone. Stay aware, and protect the qualities that make you a true leader.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ฝ. โฌ
Progress, not Perfectionism
Dear fellow-perfectionists: itโs not a strength, itโs a way of seeking approval.
In job interviews, people often humblebrag about their biggest weakness being perfectionism. It sounds like a hidden strength, doesn’t it?
Only, itโs not.
We tell ourselves, “I care a lot about my work. When I do something, I want it done right!โ.
But deep down, there is small voice saying, “If I don’t do everything perfectly, people won’t value me. I feel like my worth depends on how flawless my work is. I’m scared of making mistakesโwhat if they stop respecting or liking me?”.
It’s great to work hard and aim for high quality. Those are good things.
But when perfectionism takes over, it can lead to stress, anxiety and burnout. Research shows that perfectionism can actually make it harder to reach our goals.
As leaders, we might notice team members who push themselves too hard, striving for impossible standards. At first glance, we might think, “Great! This person delivers quality.” But in the long run, it’s not good for them or the team because it’s not sustainable.
We can help by encouraging them to focus on progress, not perfection, and by reminding them that mistakes are part of learning.
So, how to find the line between doing good work and falling into perfectionism?
- Set high goals without making them impossible or taking over our lives.
- Focus on making progress instead of being perfect.
- Ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing really making my work better, or am I stuck on tiny details that don’t add much value?โ.
As Tony Robbins says, โperfectionism is the lowest possible standard โ because itโs impossible to attainโ.
Mistakes are part of learning. They’re not signs that you’re not good enough but chances to grow and improve.