Self-Awareness In Leadership: The Real Foundation

Incompany Management Trainer | David Buirs

Leadership Begins With Self-Awareness

David Buirs is a leadership and executive coach based in Amsterdam. This post explains why self-awareness is the foundation of every form of leadership development and why trainings without that foundation often fail to stick. The reader learns about the role of self-inquiry in lasting behavioural change as a leader.

There are managers who take a new leadership training every two years. They know all the models. They can draw Covey's quadrants from memory and explain how feedback works on paper.

And yet on Monday morning, they do exactly what they always did.

Why? Because the foundation is missing that all that knowledge is supposed to land on.

Knowledge versus self-knowledge

Leadership is only a small part knowledge. It's mostly about knowing who you are when the pressure rises.

A manager who finds feedback difficult doesn't need a new feedback model. What she needs first is insight into why feedback feels so heavy. Is it an old belief that conflict is dangerous? A conviction that being liked matters more than being clear?

Without that insight, you learn a technique. With it, you learn to recognise a pattern.

Know thyself

Above the entrance of the oracle at Delphi stood the words "know thyself". Centuries later, Jung put it more sharply. The person who doesn't look inward keeps wondering why the same problems follow him around.

Every experienced leader recognises this. The manager who doesn't know her triggers keeps reacting instead of leading. The director who doesn't know where his insecurity sits covers it with political games.

Those patterns can change. Just not before you see them.

The paradox of self-awareness

Here is where things get interesting. Organisational psychologist Tasha Eurich ran a multi-year research programme on self-awareness involving thousands of people. The finding was striking. Around 95 percent of people believe they are self-aware. In reality, only 10 to 15 percent actually are.

This connects to something more familiar from psychology: the Dunning-Kruger effect. The less you know about something, the more you tend to overestimate your ability in it. Not from arrogance. Simply because you are not yet skilled enough to see what you cannot see.

For leadership, this is uncomfortable. The one skill that makes the biggest difference is also the skill we most often misjudge in ourselves.

This is no reason for cynicism. It is a reason to stay curious. A leader who keeps questioning herself and actively asks for feedback belongs to the small group that genuinely grows.

Why so many trainings don't stick

This is why many leadership trainings fade within a month. Participants learn skills and apply them on top of patterns that were never examined. A thin layer of varnish on old wood.

A good leadership training starts with self-inquiry. What are your blind spots? When do you fall back into old patterns? Which beliefs about authority, conflict or success sit so deep you barely notice them anymore?

Once those questions are answered, feedback models and coaching conversations get real traction. They become extensions of who you are.

What this means for organisations

The same applies to an entire management team. An organisation that invests in leadership development without self-awareness as a foundation is investing in technique without context. The training itself can be solid. Without serious self-inquiry, behaviour change stays surface-level.

For organisations looking to work on leadership structurally, a leadership development program that integrates self-inquiry is a sensible choice. For individual managers, coaching for managers offers the space to do this work one-on-one. For directors at board level, executive coaching amsterdam is a natural place to ask the same questions at that level.

An invitation

Self-awareness is not a destination. You learn who you are by acting, bumping into things, looking back, and moving on.

If this speaks to you and you're curious what this work could look like for you or your team, a free introduction is a good first step. No sales. Just a conversation.

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 1/2

Imagine climbing a ladder, where each step represents a new level of achievement in your career.

Now, imagine there’s a step where, once you reach it, climbing further becomes impossible—not because the ladder ends, but because your ability to climb does. Welcome to the Peter Principle.

Coined by Dr. Laurence J. Peter in 1969, this principle suggests that in a company’s hierarchy, people tend to rise to their “level of incompetence.”

Simply put, most people are promoted based on their performance in their previous role. Until they reach a position where they’re no longer competent enough in that role.

And that’s where they stop.

The beauty—and challenge—of this concept lies in its silent alarm: to pause and introspect. It’s not a career death sentence but a wake-up call to continually evolve, to plug the gaps in our competence before they become career stoppers.

Because you actually can increase your level of competence.

Recognizing where you need to grow requires humility and curiosity—qualities essential for any leader aiming to defy the Peter Principle.

In essence, the ability to progress beyond your current capabilities is not only about acquiring new skills; it’s about self-awareness and the willingness to adapt.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀: assess what skills are needed for the 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 step, and actively develop those. Ask for honest feedback.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀/𝗛𝗥: promote people based on their suitability for their next role, not their performance on their current job. Create development programs.

So, how can you ensure your next promotion isn’t your last?

Stay tuned for part 2 of this series next week, where I’ll discuss a phenomenon that often goes hand-in-hand with the Peter Principle, keeping many from realizing their potential blind spots.

Hint: It’s not about your ability but your awareness of it.