Author: davidbuirs.com

Why Is Psychological Safety A Game-Changer At Work?

What sets high-performing teams apart?

It’s not just skills or hard work—it’s the climate of trust they operate in, where making mistakes is not a fireable offense but a growth opportunity.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending an eye-opening workshop by Gabriele Galassi, organized by the inspiring the D2 collective.

The topic: psychological safety at work.

A standout insight?

Google’s research shows that top teams succeed not because they are smarter, but because there is more psychological safety.

Psychological safety is 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬-𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Safer to speak up, challenge norms, make mistakes, report errors and give each other tough feedback.

A few more learnings from yesterday I want to share with you:

📌 Having a great variation of nationalities on a team promotes psychological safety.

📌 Team cohesion is another strong predictor of performance. Teams where members are willing and able to establish strong relationships, to listen and feel empathy for each other and to give and take feedback, perform better than regular teams.

📌 In the workplace, we start overvaluing tasks over relationships. Starting the day with a relationship-building exercise over a task-oriented meeting, can have surprisingly beneficial results.

📌 A characteristic of high-performing teams is that members speak roughly in equal measure, keeping contributions short and sweet.

Improving psychological safety and team cohesion is one of the topics I work on with my ambitious leadership development clients.

Do you want to boost your team’s performance too?

Let’s connect!

How To Be Assertive AND Empathetic?

Too hard or too soft? It’s not a pillow question—it’s about leadership style.

An effective leader knows how to combine assertiveness with empathy.

Assertiveness doesn’t mean being harsh; it’s about finding the right balance between passivity and aggression.

Empathy isn’t about just accepting everything – it’s about truly understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings.

A 2500-year-old practice I’ve grown to love for increasing empathy and compassion is ‘Metta’, or ‘loving-kindness’ meditation.

I was skeptical at first, but integrating it into my routine increased my empathy and changed how I connect with others.

How to practice ‘𝗠𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗮’?

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁: Sit comfortably, close your eyes.

𝗩𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁: Start by picturing your best friend. Wish them health, happiness, and well-being. Connect with these feelings.

𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲: Gradually move to someone neutral, like a helpful store clerk, and then to someone you have difficulties with or don’t like.

𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹: Remember, this isn’t just for them; it’s for enhancing your own emotional powers.

By practicing these steps, you’re strengthening your empathy muscle by creating stronger neural pathways for compassion and empathy in your brain.

Interested in mastering both assertive and empathetic leadership?

Let’s chat about how these skills can transform your approach and help you lead more effectively.

Assertiveness EQ meditation Metta

Creating Long-Term Behavioral Change – What’s The Secret?

Remember your New Year’s resolutions? How’s that going?

If yours are barely hanging on, you’re not alone — less than 10% of us keep them alive.

Harvard’s Kegan and Lahey’s groundbreaking book “Immunity to Change”, shows us why.

In a nutshell – we have ‘hidden commitments’ (subconscious promises) to ourselves, that conflict with our best intentions to change.

These deeply influence our actions.

Kegan and Lahey’s work shows how we unknowingly shield ourselves from change with our hidden commitments and fears, despite our efforts to evolve.

Without realizing this, long lasting change is almost impossible.

Take delegation, for example.

On the surface, it seems straightforward: you’re swamped with work and need to offload some tasks to your team.

However, despite your best intentions, you find yourself hesitating to delegate.

The Immunity to Change framework might reveal a hidden commitment to always being the one who solves problems.

Perhaps it’s driven by an underlying assumption that if you’re not the one fixing things, your value as a leader diminishes.

Another common workplace scenario is receiving feedback.

You know it’s essential for growth, yet each time feedback is offered, you defensively justify your actions or dismiss the suggestions.

This resistance could come from a conflicting hidden commitment to maintaining your self-image as competent and perfect.

Strengthened by the assumption that any criticism is a threat to your identity.

How to solve this? Visualize these internal dynamics, with an Immunity to Change-map.

It always consists of the same 4 columns:

1. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 (e.g., be a better listener),
2. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 (dismiss differing opinions),
3. 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 (only valuing aligned views),
4. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝘂𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 (believing I’m always right).

Our visible commitments (what we aim to do) and our hidden commitments conflict with each other.

By mapping this out, we can actually see why we are sabotaging our intentions to change.

Acknowledging these hidden commitments and the assumptions fueling them is the first step.

Next, challenge these beliefs. Do they really serve you? Or do you merely serve them?

Personally, I tried to become a better listener (1).

And at the same time, when listening I focused mostly on verifying if their story matched my beliefs (2), which blocks actual listening.

My hidden, subconscious, commitment to myself, was to only listen to opinions I agree with (3).

The hidden (and 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘥) assumption: I know what’s right (4).

Mapping out your Immunity-to-Change map can lead to breakthroughs and transformational growth.

It works both for individuals, teams and organisations.

Ready to see what’s really holding you back? Message me to start mapping your route to real change.

change self-development

How To Have Effective 1:1’s With Your Team Members

Remember those 30-minute one-on-one meetings that felt more like a cozy chat than a productive meeting? We laughed, we talked, but often missed the key points.

It turns out, most managers, myself included, learned to conduct effective 1:1s more through slow experience than quick training.

Good 1:1s meet both the work and personal needs of your team.

Here’s how to make yours better:

1. 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸-𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹-𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴: Be genuinely curious and caring about how your direct reports are doing. Example questions: “How did you feel this week?” “What was your best moment?” “How has your week been?”

2. 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗮 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟭:𝟭𝘀: Tools like Asana, Jira, or even Google Sheets are great to track your meetings. Both you and your team member should add updates and agenda points, and review those, before the meeting.

3. 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁: Follow a set agenda. Cover open topics, action items, blockers, questions and successes. Save your valuable meeting time for discussion – you can share regular updates through the online tool.

4. 𝗣𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: Starting on time and avoiding cancellations shows respect. It signals to your team you value their time.

5. 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽: If you promise to take an action, update your team on the progress. It’s a great way to build trust. Ask the same from your team.

6. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: For leaders, information is gold. The leader that listens well has a big advantage. Listening also makes your team feel heard and cared about. (We all overestimate our ability to listen.)

7. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: Encourage them to think and reflect about their week. Ask about highlights and challenges. Instead of giving your ideal solution right away, ask them what they think first. This supports growth and learning.

Using these tips, you can turn 1:1s from simple chats into powerful tools for growth and success.

1:1s Leadership Leadership Leadership Management Management meetings

Freeing Up More Time For The Things That Matter – Prioritizing Your Tasks

“There’s never enough time in the day! What can I do about this?” 😓 In our professional lives, urgent tasks and looming deadlines can leave us feeling stretched thin and stressed, draining our energy and creating anxiety.

This challenge echoes through the experiences of many professionals I’ve connected with recently. Especially in dynamic and high-pressure industries, the struggle to find time for what truly matters is real.

We prioritize the urgent over the important.

The price we pay? We neglect investing in ourselves. We constantly put out fires, and don’t get to doing those things that prevent fires from breaking out or prepare us best for future opportunities.

▶ Enter the Important vs Urgent (‘Eisenhower’) matrix, a game-changer for those shifting from a reactive to a strategic approach.

Saying no to or delegating urgent but not important tasks might feel counterintuitive initially, but frees up precious time for activities that actually move the needle for you – whether it’s learning about new technologies, staying up to date on case law, or following that leadership, mindfulness or communication training.

The template below can help you reprioritize your time and energy. ⚡

And when you freed up that time, how can you be the most effective? Tip #1: Avoid distractions.

The constant need to respond immediately to messages and emails hijacks productivity and creates stress. Did you know it takes an average of 23 minutes to refocus after a distraction?

Scheduling uninterrupted time for your important work is a huge productivity booster. Here are 3 tips:

·      Try setting your OOO to “Focussed work time – call for emergencies” for an hour daily, and turn off Teams. 🤫
·      Use the ‘Pomodoro technique’ (named after a pomodoro kitchen timer): 25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break, repeat 3-4 times. 🍅
·      Turn your phone’s messaging notifications off and put it out of sight. 📵

Freeing up this time can make a big impact over time: freeing up 2 hours for important work per week translates to around 100 hours per year.

See ‘Free Downloads‘ for the Eisenhower Matrix PDF.

Management Prioritising Project-management Stress Stress Time-management

The Many Benefits of Finding Your Purpose

“A study found a 15% (!) drop in the risk of dying over the next decade for people finding their purpose, regardless of age.”

What?!

Raise your hand if you ever subtly rolled your eyes at the mentioning of “finding your purpose 💫”? I get it – it can sound like part of a motivational YouTube video.

If you’re like me, you’d rather trust data and research than grandiose terms. No crystal-balls magic, just empirically proven benefits. 💼

Well, the research paints a compelling picture: knowing and living your life purpose isn’t just warm and fuzzy; it’s the secret sauce for success.

Here are some of the amazing benefits (sources provided below), accessible for everyone:

💪 A long-term study found that making a significant step towards finding your purpose caused a 15% drop in the risk of dying over the next decade.

🌈 More happiness, stronger relationships, better sleep, and mental health.

💰 Having a sense of purpose predicts greater income and net worth.

🚀 And it’s not just personal – purpose is a key ingredient to exceptional leadership.

⬆ For companies, aligning individual and organizational purpose brings a ton of benefits, from a fourfold boost in engagement to a twofold increase in employee retention.

So many advantages, what’s the catch? Do you need to save the whales to reap the benefits? Win a Nobel Prize? No, not at all.

(Don’t let me stop you though. 🐋)

Also, it’s personal – you don’t have to share it with anyone. 🤫

And here’s the kicker: purpose works regardless of your worldview, religion, or lack thereof. It’s about the impact you want to make – for yourself and others.

What Problems And Questions From My Team Should I Take On – And What Not?

Who else has felt the overwhelming urge to solve every problem that lands on their desk?

It’s a common trap for new managers, feeling like you need to be the hero.

Imagine walking around with a big backpack. 🎒

Every time your team comes to you with a problem, you have a choice – do you accept the problem and add it to your backpack, or not?

Put too much in your backpack, and you won’t be able to move anymore.

Great leadership isn’t about how many problems you can solve; it’s about how many problems you can teach your team to solve.

📌 Here’s a quick tip: Think of yourself as a guide rather than a fixer.

Next time a direct report comes to you with an issue, ask, “What part of this can you handle, and what do you need my help with? What solution have you considered?”.

This empowers them and helps you prioritize your own workload.

👉 If you’re unsure whether to take on a problem, consider if it aligns with your key responsibilities. If it doesn’t, it’s likely not yours to solve.

Coaching your team to handle challenges not only lightens your load but also builds their confidence and skills.

This fosters a culture of problem-solving, innovation, and ownership.

Lastly, at a later moment, check-in and reflect with your team around problems you asked them to solve themselves, to build trust and enhance learning.

delegation ownership Stress

The Importance Of Taking Regular Breaks And Making Small Changes In Your Environment

Yesterday, something amazing happened in Amsterdam.

After months of cold and rain, suddenly the mercury hit 18 degrees – very rare for a day in March. 🌞

This beautiful weather had a remarkable effect – it completely changed the city’s vibe. People were smiling more, looked happier, and seemed more energetic.

It reminded me of how much a change in environment can impact your mood.

I often see the same during coaching, where even moving to a new spot in the room can change your mood, perspective or feelings.

Let’s connect this to how many of our days look; spending hours behind screens.

Apparently, and I only stumbled upon this mind-blowing fact recently: Zoom didn’t exist 20,000 years ago ( 😲!!).

Our brains haven’t yet evolved to deal with Zoom-a-thons.

What can you do?

Create several of these mini-spring moments throughout your day.

Every few hours, go for a short walk outside.

Or put on your favorite song and dance.

Or do some stretching.

Anything that gets your body moving.

These changes in the environment work like resets for your brain.

As the picture below shows: your brain needs to recharge – you can’t win all those Nobel prizes on an empty battery.

(The test person at the bottom, the one whose brain doesn’t look microwaved, took short breaks between calls.)

breaks productivity

Training, Mentoring And Coaching – When To Use What?

Let’s look at one tool from the leadership toolkit: training, mentoring and coaching your team. 🛠

Demystifying the use of 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴, and 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.

All three are essential skills for any manager.

Use the right skill at the right time to maximize your team’s development.

So, when to use what?

𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 🎓

Perfect for beginners, training is directive and instructional, focusing on knowledge transfer to lay a solid skill foundation. Usually short-term.

“𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘟, 𝘠, 𝘡.”

✅ 𝘛𝘪𝘱: verify, in a supportive, non-controlling way, if the training was successful and the desired skills were learned.

𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 🧭

Suited for mid-level to senior team members, mentoring offers guidance and wisdom from personal experience. Guide your team members on their professional journey. Longer term.

“𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶?”

✅ 𝘛𝘪𝘱: the relationship is essential in mentoring – take a genuine interest in your mentee.

𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 🚀

Ideal for more senior team members, coaching is an equal partnership that promotes self-discovery and maximizes their potential. No advice or instructions are given.

Through questions, help your coachee discover what they want, and how they’ll get there. Only effective if coachee is motivated to be coached.

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮?”

✅ 𝘛𝘪𝘱: a good coach is a good listener – practice active listening and ask open-ended questions.

Every team member, regardless of their role or seniority, might find value in training, mentoring, or coaching, tailored to their unique needs at different times.

Which of the three did you benefit the most from in your career?

Leadership mentoring training

Completing My 5-Month Coaching Training

Using the words “𝘐’𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦” in 2024 feels a bit like using a fax machine, but it’s how I feel right now.

Five months after starting, I completed the Co-Active Intermediate coaching training last weekend.

I’m now trained in Co-Active Training Institute‘s effective and transformative Co-Active coaching model and ready to start coaching professionally!

A quote I heard during that weekend stayed with me:

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦.”

Five months ago, I left a decade-long career and the safety that comes with it, to start this adventure.

Looking back, this marked the beginning of my ‘second life’ – committed to helping others live happier and more fulfilling lives. And so far, I have loved every step of it.

I rediscovered my creativity, intuition, and sense of purpose. And learned that fear is just a feeling! Doing something scary for me feels liberating.

The phrase ‘making the most out of life’ always seemed cliché, until I realized it’s extremely valuable advice. And one of the things coaches help with.

A big thank-you to everyone who supported me the last 5 months, to my fellow coaches for sharing your experiences, to my Co-Active peers for your inspiration, and particularly to those I’ve coached for your openness and trust.

Interested in more happiness, balance, growth and fulfillment in life? Feel free to reach out; I’d love to discuss this further.

What’s next? I’m trained, energized, and ready to begin. Stay tuned for next week’s update on how I plan to transform clichés into realities, one coaching session at a time.

achievement Co-Active coaching