When Do You Become Too Self-critical?

“I’m just holding myself to a high standard.”
Are you?
Or are you just being harsh?

There’s a subtle trap many high performers fall into—especially new managers:

Mistaking self-criticism for motivation.

We think:
☑ “If I don’t push myself, I’ll get lazy.”
☑ “That wasn’t good enough—I should’ve done better.”
☑ “I need to be tough on myself, or I won’t improve.”

But neuroscience and psychology tell a different story.

🔬 Studies show that self-compassion, not self-judgment, leads to higher resilience, motivation, and long-term growth.

It’s not about going easy on yourself.
It’s about not tearing yourself down.

Here’s what helps me reframe:

“I did my best with the resources I had at that moment. Now, what can I learn for next time?”

That mindset still drives improvement—but without the emotional bruising.

Leadership is already tough. You don’t have to lead yourself with a whip.

How to Up-Manage Well

Not all rising leaders are the loudest or most experienced ones.

Some are just quietly doing something most people overlook:

They think like owners—and that includes how they manage up.

It’s not just about leading your team.
It’s about supporting your manager too:
→ Keeping them informed
→ Flagging issues early
→ Helping them avoid surprises

Because when you practice up-management well,
you earn freedom.
You stop getting micromanaged.
You get pulled into real decisions.
You start getting seen differently—like someone who gets the bigger picture.

A few ways to start:
✅ Keep a shared doc with live updates—they’ll never have to chase
✅ Ask: “What could I do this week to make your job easier?”
✅ Offer a possible fix with every issue—even a rough one is better than none

How to Make Meetings More Effective?

It’s 13:58.
You’ve just spent 58 minutes nodding, bouncing ideas, feeling like 𝘸𝘦’𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.”

Then someone says:
𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘶𝘯, 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭’𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 — 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭”

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸.
𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.
You stare at your screen, slightly dazed, mildly irritated, already bracing for the next one.
And it hits you:
𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴?
Who’s doing what? By when?

We’ve all been there many times.

It wasn’t really a meeting.
It was a conversation with a calendar invite.
And conversations — without clarity — don’t drive results.

Here’s the fix:

📌 In the last 3 minutes, ask:

  1. 𝙒𝙝𝙤 is doing something?
  2. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 exactly are they doing?
  3. 𝘽𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 will it be done?

Then start your next meeting by checking in on those three.

When meetings end with 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽,
you’ll need fewer of them — and get more done.

And the holy grail?
You might even get to say the sexiest line in corporate life:
𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺.”

You don’t even have to be the host.
Just say:
𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦’𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰’𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯?”

Try it once. Your future self will thank you.

Handling Passive-Aggressive Behavior as a Manager

It was the sigh for me.

That long, dramatic exhale in the middle of our meeting—the kind that doesn’t need words to say:

“Let’s not pretend we like each other, and finish this meeting asap.”
The kind that makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward.

And what did I do?
I smiled.
Nodded.
Acted like all was well.

This was early in my leadership career, and back then, my go-to strategy for dealing with passive-aggressive behavior was… well, 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲.

I didn’t want to make it worse.
Didn’t want to seem harsh or overly “bossy.”
I wanted to keep the relationship strong.

But here’s what I’ve learned since:
𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿.

Because the more I ignored it, the more it showed up.
And the more I stayed silent, the harder it became to speak up.

Today, I handle it differently.

I say something like:
“Hey—I sensed a bit of tension in our last conversation. Can we talk about it?”

Curious.
Calm.
Clear.

It’s not about calling someone 𝘰𝘶𝘵.
It’s about calling them 𝘪𝘯.

Because leadership isn’t about being liked at all costs.
It’s about creating relationships rooted in respect—and the kind of honesty that actually builds trust.

The Power of Your Expectations

How much do you really believe in your team’s potential?

The expectations you set for them could be the difference between success and stagnation.

The Pygmalion Effect shows us that when you expect your team to succeed, they’re more likely to do so.

But the Golem Effect tells us the opposite:
If you expect little, your team may underperform—whether you intend that or not.

I wish I knew about these effects a few years ago, as they’re very real.

Your beliefs can either limit or amplify your team’s growth.

High expectations encourage initiative, creativity, and responsibility.
Low expectations breed hesitation and a lack of engagement.

To maximize your team’s potential, focus on the power of your belief in them.

Challenge yourself:
Are you empowering your team through trust and high expectations?
Or are you holding them back with doubt?


🔺Are you looking for an incompany management training? I’d love to discuss this further!

How To Stop Negativity From Spreading In Your Team

Negativity spreads fast.

One complaint turns into a group venting session.
One frustration becomes the team’s mood.

I’ve seen it happen. And as a manager, it can make you feel powerless.

Especially when the frustration is about things outside your control—like salaries, company policies, or strategic decisions made higher up.

You don’t want to silence people. They have the right to voice concerns.
At the same time, research shows that some ways of dealing with negativity—like avoidance, suppression, or manipulation—only make things worse. Instead of resolving tension, these approaches allow negativity to fester or resurface in unproductive ways.

So, how do you manage it?

1. Acknowledge, but don’t amplify

Let people vent, but don’t fuel the fire.
“I hear you. This is frustrating. What do you think we can do within our control?”
Redirect the conversation toward action.

2. Reframe the narrative

Negativity thrives in a vacuum. If people lack context, they assume the worst.
As a manager, you can help reframe the situation:
“I get why this feels unfair, but here’s the bigger picture…”

This is called reappraisal—shifting how we interpret a situation. Studies show that once a new perspective spreads among 25-40% of a group, the rest will likely adopt it too.

3. Set the emotional tone

Your team will take cues from you. Stay calm, steady, and constructive.

Negativity isn’t the enemy. But letting it take over is.

Strong leaders don’t ignore emotions. They help teams process them—without getting stuck.

Managing Former Peers as a New Leader

“We’re still cool, right?”
That unspoken question lingers the moment you go from peer to boss.

Yesterday, you were part of the inside jokes, the venting sessions, the after-work drinks.
Today, you’re the one approving time off, giving feedback, making tough calls.

And suddenly… things feel different.

The casual banter gets more careful.
The invites to lunch slow down.
Some teammates hold back—like they’re not sure if you’re still their friend or their boss.

That shift can feel isolating.
No one tells you how lonely leadership can be.

You can’t lead if you’re too busy trying to be liked.
A lot of new managers hesitate to set boundaries.
They soften feedback.
They avoid tough calls.

But trying to keep everyone comfortable?
That’s exactly what makes things weird.

The fix? Be clear. Be fair. Be human.

Acknowledge the shift.
Have an open conversation: “I know this is a transition for all of us. I’ll always be upfront with you.”

Set expectations early.
Create clarity—what stays the same, what will be different, and how you’ll lead.

Be consistent.
No overcorrecting. No playing favorites. Just fairness across the board.

When it seems like you have to pick between leadership and friendship, remember your real job is to guide the team. Strong relationships help, but focusing too hard on popularity pulls you away from your responsibilities.

Support matters in leadership, but so does accountability. Making tough decisions, setting boundaries, and using your authority come with the territory. Friendliness is fine, as long as it doesn’t undermine fairness or progress.

People don’t need a boss chasing popularity; they need someone they can respect. Real respect grows from clarity, fairness, and consistency—every day.

Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it?

90% of Managers Need Training – Most Never Get It

Gallup’s main finding after studying 2.5 million teams (!):
👉 Only 10% of managers naturally possess the talent to lead well.
👉 The other 90% need training to succeed.

But here’s the problem—most companies don’t provide that training.

Instead, they take their best individual contributor, promote them to manager, and hope for the best.

What happens next?

Their team disengages. Performance slips. Turnover rises.
You assume they just need time.
But months pass. A year. Nothing improves.

Why?

Because the skills that made them a top performer have nothing to do with leading people. And the worst part? They were set up to fail.

The cost of getting it wrong:
📉 Companies pick the wrong managers 82% of the time
📉 Managers drive 70% of team engagement
📉 Only 35% of U.S. managers are engaged at work

Bad management costs companies billions in lost productivity and turnover.

The fix? Treat leadership as a skill, not a promotion.

1️⃣ Spot leadership potential early – Not everyone is meant to lead. Those who are need training before they’re promoted.
2️⃣ Develop managers before they struggle – The 90% who aren’t naturals? They can succeed—with the right coaching.
3️⃣ Hold leadership to the same standard as any other skill – You wouldn’t make someone a CFO just because they’re good with numbers. So why promote a manager without leadership training?

Leadership isn’t something people just “figure out.”
It’s something they learn.

Are your managers getting the training they need?

The Gallup Study: https://www.gallup.com/workplace/231593/why-great-managers-rare.aspx.

How To Manage Underperformers

The first time you realize someone on your team isn’t keeping up, it’s uncomfortable.

You ask yourself:

❌ Am I being too tough—or not tough enough?
❌ Do they need more support—or is it time for a hard conversation?
❌ How do I handle this without losing their trust?

These moments test you as a leader.

Some managers avoid them. Others come down too hard.

The best ones? They navigate them with clarity, honesty, and care.

This guide will show you how to:

✅ Pinpoint the real performance gap
✅ Have the conversation the right way
✅ Balance support with accountability

See the “Free Downloads” section of this website for the PDF to browse through 👉

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 > 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 – a Formula For Success

Learning > Change

This is a formula for success.

Your 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨, the rate at which you adopt and expand your skills as leader, needs to exceed the rate at which your environment 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴.

If not, you’ll fall behind and others will pass you by.

Has your learning kept up? Are you consistently making time for personal and professional development?

Prioritizing your full inbox, however inevitable and important it might feel, is short-term thinking. And it will never get empty.

As leaders, we face bigger expectations, more complex challenges, and higher stakes.

So how do you ensure your growth stays ahead of the curve? Here are three steps:

1️⃣ Reflect Regularly
Block out time each week to review what’s working, what’s not, and what you can learn from it all.

2️⃣ Seek Feedback
Blind spots grow in the dark. Ask for candid input often—don’t wait for formal reviews.
𝘈 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘏𝘉𝘙 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴: 95% 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝘖𝘯𝘭𝘺 10-15% 𝘢𝘳𝘦.

3️⃣ Invest in Yourself
Read, take courses, or get help. Your development isn’t a “nice-to-have” but a “must-have.”

Change is inevitable. Falling behind doesn’t have to be.

How has your learning kept pace with your changing role over the past year?