Author: davidbuirs.com

Completing a 10-Day Vipassana Meditation Course – My Experiences and Insights

Last week, I completed a 10-day Vipassana meditation course. Many of you have asked about my experience, so I want to share it here, hoping it might offer some wisdom and inspiration for your own journey.

This is a longer post, but I hope it resonates with you.

The course was spartan. Every day began at 4 AM. We meditated for 10 hours a day, with three hours dedicated to sitting perfectly still. There was no speaking, no eye contact, and no physical touch. Our last meal was at 11 AM.

These strict conditions strip away distractions, forcing you to confront the raw workings of your mind.

The goal of Vipassana is simple: to see things as they really are. It teaches you to observe your sensations without reacting, cultivating a balanced mind.

The technique weakens the mind’s conditioning to chase after what we crave and flee from what we dislike. Instead, it allows you to respond with awareness rather than react instinctively.

𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝟭: 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀
During those 10 days, I experienced profound silence. In that silence, my mind became crystal clear. Memories I thought were lost came back. Without the constant influx of dopamine from my phone, email, and the news, I realized how much it clutters our brains.

𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: In your work, carve out moments of silence and stillness. Disconnect from your devices. Use this time to think deeply, plan strategically, and reconnect with your inner self. It will enhance your clarity and decision-making.

𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝟮: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝘄 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲
One core lesson was the law of impermanence. Everything changes. Pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow—they all come and go. This understanding brings peace and balance.

𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: In leadership, remember that challenges and successes are both temporary. This perspective helps you stay grounded during crises and humble during triumphs.

𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝟯: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗪𝗲 𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗿
We all create images of ourselves and spend tremendous energy protecting them. Vipassana strips away these masks, revealing our true selves.

𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: As a leader, embrace authenticity. Encourage your team to be genuine. Authenticity fosters trust and deeper connections, which are the foundations of strong leadership.

𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝟰: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗮
At the end of the course, we practiced Metta Bhavana, the meditation of loving-kindness. It’s a powerful exercise to cultivate compassion and love. Simply focus on sending well-wishes to yourself and others.

𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: Start a Metta meditation practice. Increasing your empathy and compassion will help you become a better leader.

Vipassana was a challenging, yet profoundly rewarding experience. It taught me the value of silence, the nature of impermanence, the importance of authenticity, and the power of compassion.

These courses are run by volunteers and funded only by donations from former students. I am deeply grateful for their dedication and support.

meditation vipassana

One Year After Leaving My Corporate Career

This week marks exactly one year after my last working day of a decade-long career, leading teams.

And the beginning of a new adventure.

So much has happened since!

I completed my Co-Active coach training, started my own business, and found my ikigai in leadership development coaching.

(If your Japanese is a bit rusty – ikigai is about doing that which you love, are good at, and that the world needs.)

The most rewarding part of leadership development is that it works like an amplifier.

A leader’s growth naturally extends to their team. Their success and well-being inspire those around them, creating a ripple effect of positive change.

I feel more alive, fulfilled, and happy than ever.

The positive feedback and support from many of you has meant the world to me.

Special shoutout to Frederike Driesse and Jasper Brand at The Talent Institute in Amsterdam for their trust, as they were my first B2B client. The Talent Institute creates inspiring development programs for talents in design, innovation, and marketing. Worth checking out.

And as someone who’s slightly introverted, I’ve discovered a surprising love for networking and connecting with new people.

It’s not all roses and sunshine though. (What?! 😜)

Challenges like financial uncertainty, no-shows, and missing regular colleague interactions are real.

But for me, it’s definitely worth it.

A key goal the past half year was to post valuable content for you weekly.

I’m now heading off for a 10-day silent retreat, so next week will be my first break from posting.

I look forward to returning with fresh clarity and inspiration for the coming year.

And there’s a very exciting project on the horizon – more details soon.

Huge thanks to all of you for your continued support!

❤️🙏

Honesty, Curiosity and Self-Reflection

This might be controversial, but here’s something we need to talk about…

Social media is flooded with leadership quotes. We like them, we share them, and we think, “Gosh, when will my manager finally get this?” 🙄

But how often do we take a hard look at our own leadership?

Here’s the irony – most managers are on LinkedIn daily, yet many teams are still struggling.

It’s easy to scroll through content and believe the advice is for others. But true leadership starts with self-examination.

Are we actively seeking out feedback, especially when it’s tough to hear? Do we confront our own shortcomings?

Next time you come across a leadership quote, challenge yourself: Am I living up to this standard with my team?

If yes – how can you actually verify if this is true?

Keep the Dunning-Kruger effect in mind – people who objectively score among the bottom 0-25% on a particular skill rate themselves in the 50-75% bracket.

Unconscious incompetence is quite common.

❗ If you believe you’re doing great, but your team is consistently difficult or disengaged, it might be a sign to reevaluate your approach.

Here’s the truth – the leaders who practice honest self-reflection grow the fastest. They get promoted faster, score better on performance reviews, and lead happier teams.

Let’s not just scroll through inspirational quotes. Let’s live them.

Imagine the impact you could have by truly applying these principles.

Reflect deeply, lead with authenticity, and watch your team – and yourself – flourish. 💪

feedback Management

Difficult Conversations – Transforming Stress Into Connection

You’re about to walk into a performance review with a team member, knowing you have to deliver some tough feedback.

Your chest tightens, your breath becomes shallow, and your mind races with worst-case scenarios.

Sound familiar?

This kind of physical reaction is a natural response to stress, but it can also be a sign of a deeper issue: closing your heart to protect yourself.

We’ve all been hurt or disappointed in life, which may cause our hearts to close. When we close our hearts, we not only shut out pain but also joy, love, and connection.

This automatic defense mechanism, designed to protect us from physical threats, often leaves us feeling isolated and disconnected at work.

Living with an open heart, no matter what life throws at us, is challenging but highly rewarding. I know it sounds like a motivational poster, but let’s get practical.

Consider those moments right before difficult conversations or when receiving unexpected critical feedback.

The instinct to protect yourself causes physical constriction, especially around your chest.

You tense up, your breath becomes shallow, and your mind starts to close off, too.

Your mind and body are interconnected: the more you tense up, the more your mind focuses on perceived threats, the less connection you feel to others, the more your chest feels constricted.

Try this: each time you feel your chest tighten, consciously relax it.

Notice how often this happens throughout your day.

Slow your breathing and relax your entire body. This helps you stay calm and keeps your mind open.

When you’re open, you can connect more deeply with others. People will notice your openness and respond in kind, creating a ripple effect.

Take a deep breath, relax your chest, and embrace the day with an open heart. The rewards are immense.

The more you open up, the more the world opens up to you.

❤️

anxiety connection difficultconversations Leadership

Admitting We Don’t Have All The Answers – Increasing Vulnerability In The Workplace

“I don’t know.”

“I really don’t know.”

How refreshing to admit this!

It’s something I wish I’d said more often in my career.

Do we need to be able to answer every question? Must we have an opinion on everything? Not necessarily.

Especially in leadership, there’s an expectation to respond to every query and attend every meeting.

Sometimes it’s because we feel responsible; other times, it’s because we fear appearing incapable.

But it’s okay not to know everything.

Acknowledging this doesn’t diminish your value.

If the question is important, you can admit you don’t have the answer yet, but you’ll try to find out.

Or, recognize that you might have other priorities demanding your energy.

Perhaps, the person asking could even discover the answer themselves.

Let’s show up with more vulnerability at work, and less need for perfection.

By doing so, we can redirect our time and energy towards what truly matters.

questions trust vulnerability

Great Leaders Are Great Communicators

Think of someone you know that communicates really well.

And someone that doesn’t.

What makes the difference?

Communication in leadership is like fine-tuning a musical instrument—it makes every performance better.

Especially for starting managers, getting this right from the beginning gives you a head start.

Here’s a challenge for you: 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵.

Need inspiration? Below you’ll find some ideas:

𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴
📌 Tip: Use reflective listening techniques, such as paraphrasing what the speaker has said to confirm understanding.

𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
📌 Tip: Before communicating, take a moment to organize your thoughts to ensure clarity and precision in your message.

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘂𝗮𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
📌 Tip: Remember WIIFM – “What’s In It For Me”? – A thought that’s often on our minds (we are human, after all). If you can pro-actively address this in your communication, you’re more convincing.

𝗔𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
📌 Tip: Adjust your communication style to match the preferences of your audience—some may prefer directness, while others may need more context.

𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸
📌 Tip: Regularly ask for feedback on your communication style and effectiveness, showing you value continuous improvement.

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗪𝗵𝘆
📌 Tip: When giving instructions, starting meetings or sharing updates, always explain the context. You might see the bigger picture, but your audience might not.

𝗔𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀
📌 Tip: Ask open-ended questions that start with “what” or “how” to encourage detailed responses and deeper discussions.

Improving how you communicate can dramatically enhance your interactions and the impact you can make.

communicatie communication listening self-development

The Most Important Realization In Your Life

Is there life before death?

Wow, easy there, buddy. What a morbid question!

For many of us in the West, contemplating death is taboo. We avoid it at all costs.

While in many philosophies and cultures, from the Stoics to current day Tibet, contemplating our mortality is seen as an essential part of life.

In the West, we often overvalue “time = money”, and believe we are here on Earth only to be productive.

We can get too focused on promotions, raises or material success, forgetting that those things in itself do not lead to happiness.

We act like we only live to work.

But is that true?

Let’s do a thought experiment..

What if you knew you only have 1 more month to live?

Would you then lay awake at night, thinking about what your manager said to you? Or about that presentation that didn’t go as planned?

Would you add that extra project to your already full schedule, or would you choose to spend more time with friends or family?

Would you spend your commute mindlessly scrolling the news, or would you enjoy the colours in the sky?

If you would do things differently after hearing that news – why not do it now?

Work is an essential part of our life. But it’s not the reason why we’re here.

Reflect on what it means to you to live a full and happy life.

You don’t even have to switch jobs, as there are many ways to make your current job more enjoyable and meaningful.

In the evening, spend five minutes reflecting on your day. Write about moments or people that made you feel alive, connected, or genuinely happy.

This helps in recognizing the value of your daily experiences beyond work achievements and material success.

Burning yourself out chasing after more senior titles or money will not get you what you hope for. It never does in the end.

Instead, work to make a positive impact – on your team, your company and for your clients.

Work to grow, learn, and have fun.

Work to connect with people.

Work to support your life outside of work.

You only have one life.

Make the most out of it.

coaching Fulfillment happiness self-development self-development

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 2/2

I always saw myself as a good listener. Until I realized I wasn’t…

Last week I wrote about 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 – you keep getting promoted, until you hit the ceiling of your competence.

Then, the requirements of the role exceed your capabilities and you stop being promoted.

For competence, think about things like your ability to think strategically, your emotional intelligence, your leadership skills, your communication skills, or your ability to analyse complex problems.

Competence is not set in stone – you can increase it.

But here, we’re faced with an invisible enemy – the 𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗞𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁.

It’s a cognitive bias that makes people with low ability in a specific area, overestimate their ability in that area. It’s unconscious incompetence.

In many experiments, Dunning and Kruger’s observed that people who objectively score among the lowest 25%, rate themselves to be in the 50-75% range.

A practical example: many people who believe they are good listeners, in fact aren’t.

For me, the realization came when I truly listened to feedback. And then explored the topic of what listening is about, and how to become good at it.

Let’s tie last week’s post and this topic together:

• You keep getting promoted in organizations, until you hit your level of competence (𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲).
• To keep getting promoted, increase your level of competence.
• For those skills we need to increase our competence for, we overestimate our ability (𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗞𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁).
• This prevents us from putting in the effort to improve, which keeps our level of competence, and our career, where it is.

What can you do?

• Take assessments on particular skills required for your role.
• Ask for 360-feedback from your colleagues (anonymous or not). Be open to criticism.
• Question your beliefs about what you know and what you don’t yet know.
• Keep learning.

There is no need to become insecure and doubtful about your abilities. But realize information is power.

And, a few weeks after International Women’s Day, for managers and organisations, I also want to call out the 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲. It describes how many women in organisations work below their level of competence. Using objective data can help us counter this

So, identify the skills critical for your role and the next. Use data and feedback for an honest assessment, and then, take action.

Your future-you will thank you for it.

career Duning-Kruger Leadership Leadership Paula Principle

Why Your Next Promotion Might Be Your Last (Unless You’re Aware of This) 1/2

Imagine climbing a ladder, where each step represents a new level of achievement in your career.

Now, imagine there’s a step where, once you reach it, climbing further becomes impossible—not because the ladder ends, but because your ability to climb does. Welcome to the Peter Principle.

Coined by Dr. Laurence J. Peter in 1969, this principle suggests that in a company’s hierarchy, people tend to rise to their “level of incompetence.”

Simply put, most people are promoted based on their performance in their previous role. Until they reach a position where they’re no longer competent enough in that role.

And that’s where they stop.

The beauty—and challenge—of this concept lies in its silent alarm: to pause and introspect. It’s not a career death sentence but a wake-up call to continually evolve, to plug the gaps in our competence before they become career stoppers.

Because you actually can increase your level of competence.

Recognizing where you need to grow requires humility and curiosity—qualities essential for any leader aiming to defy the Peter Principle.

In essence, the ability to progress beyond your current capabilities is not only about acquiring new skills; it’s about self-awareness and the willingness to adapt.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀: assess what skills are needed for the 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 step, and actively develop those. Ask for honest feedback.

𝗧𝗶𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀/𝗛𝗥: promote people based on their suitability for their next role, not their performance on their current job. Create development programs.

So, how can you ensure your next promotion isn’t your last?

Stay tuned for part 2 of this series next week, where I’ll discuss a phenomenon that often goes hand-in-hand with the Peter Principle, keeping many from realizing their potential blind spots.

Hint: It’s not about your ability but your awareness of it.

career Peter Principle promotion self-awareness

How To Make Meditation And Mindfulness A Part Of Your Life To Reduce Anxiety And Increase Happiness

What’s the connection between The Muppets and mindfulness? Stick with me—this isn’t the setup for a joke.. (Could be a great one though.)

Remember Waldorf and Statler, the critics in the balcony? They’re a metaphor for our own minds: often negative, judging ourselves and others.

Evolutionarily, that makes perfect sense. Your brain – basically a radar scanning for danger – evolved in dangerous times.

Tigers could jump out of every bush. 🐅

In modern times this constant scanning causes anxiety and unhappiness.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁-𝘀𝗼-𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀?

You can’t completely silence those inner critics.

They’re hard-wired into your brain. (And small, short doses of self-criticism can be healthy.)

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀?

Meditation offers an escape.

It allows you to step out of the balcony and watch those grumpy guys go on and on from a distance.

Realizing you don’t have to listen to or reply to everything they say is such a relief. Most of it isn’t true anyway.

Two years ago I started a daily meditation practice. It gave me more peace of mind, positivity and focus. It reduced many of my worries.

Curious about meditation, and unsure where to begin? Try this:

▸ Set an alarm or ⏳for 5/10 mins.
▸ Sit comfortably, eyes closed.
▸ Focus on your breath.
▸ Thoughts will interrupt— you can’t stop them. Imagine Waldorf and Statler doing their usual thing.
▸ Label these thoughts as thoughts, without engaging with them. Like watching clouds drift by.
▸ Keep going back to your breath.

That’s it.

Regular practice increases the amount of grey matter in your brain, increasing cognitive function. 🧠 (Or in less fancy terms: makes you smarter.)

It also boosts mood, focus and productivity and lowers stress and anxiety. It really works.

Does this mean thinking is bad? Absolutely not. But use it as a tool, when you need it.

Ready to stop being puppeteered by your thoughts? Give meditation a go. 🙏🏻

Call 0800-MEDITATION for support. Or schedule a call with me.

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