Faster promotions for new manager: Impact over theater

Leiderschapscoach Amsterdam | David Buirs

This article contrasts political games with genuine impact as a strategy for promotion. It highlights the Power Paradox and the Peter Principle for new managers. Four concrete tips provide a path for sustainable growth through personal development and feedback.

Everyone wants to move up. You just became a manager and you are already looking at the next step. VP. Director. Climbing the ladder. That is normal. Ambition is fuel. However, there are two ways to get faster promotions for new manager. One works in the short term but leaves you empty. The other might take a bit longer, but it makes you a better leader.

The Fast (But Empty) Route

You know them. The managers who know exactly when the director walks by. Who are always in the right meetings. Who slime their way up by saying exactly what the boss wants to hear. Corporate politics. Visibility over impact. Talking about results instead of actually achieving them. Does it work? Yes, sometimes. You can become a VP that way. Maybe even quickly. And then? Then you have a title. But no respect. No team that truly has your back. No feeling that you are building something meaningful. You wake up as a VP and feel empty. Because deep down you know: you didn’t make the impact you were capable of. You just played the game better.

The Power Paradox

Psychologist Dacher Keltner discovered something interesting. People often rise to power through traits like empathy, collaboration, and helping others. But once they have that power, they lose those exact traits. They become more selfish. Less empathetic. More focused on themselves. And then they start losing that power. That is the paradox. The qualities that get you to the top are not the same ones you use once you are there. Unless you pay attention to it, for example through leadership coaching.

The Better Route: Focus on Impact

Here is another way to get ahead. Become obsessively good in your current role. Don’t play politics. Ask yourself this question instead: what positive impact can I make on the people around me? On your team. On other departments. On your boss. On clients. If you get promoted? Great. Bigger role, bigger impact. If it takes longer? You are already doing work that matters. You are building something. You are developing people. You are making things better. This approach might feel slower. But in the end, you go further. With more respect, more impact, and a team that actually supports you.

4 Tips to Grow Faster (The Right Way)

  1. Ask Your Manager What Success Looks Like
    Most new managers guess what their boss finds important. And they usually guess wrong. Just ask. “What would success look like for me in six months? What should I focus on?” And also: “How do you want me to communicate with you? Weekly updates? Only when there are problems? How often do you want to speak?” This sounds basic. Yet most managers don’t do it. They assume they know. And waste energy on things their boss doesn’t even see.
  2. Ask for Constant Feedback
    Many managers wait for their annual review. Too late. Ask someone every week: “How am I doing? Where can I improve?” Ask your boss. Your team. Colleagues. Even people outside your department. This also protects you against the Peter Principle. People get promoted to their level of incompetence. They were good in their previous role, so they get a new one. One they are less good at. And they get stuck there. Feedback helps you keep growing instead of stagnating.
  3. Spend 1-2 Hours Per Week on Personal Development
    This is where most managers fail. They are too busy. Too many meetings. Putting out too many fires. So they spend no time on learning. On reflecting. On consciously getting better. Here is the secret. Few managers do this. If you do it, you have a huge advantage over your competition. 1-2 hours a week. That is it. Read a book on leadership. Take a solid management training. Reflect on what went well and what didn’t. Write down what you learn. Managers who do this grow faster. Not because they play politics, but because they objectively become better.
  4. Make Other People Successful
    Do you want to move up? Help your team grow. Help other departments succeed. Make your boss successful. When you make people around you better, it comes back to you. Not always immediately. But it returns. And when you grow into a larger role, people follow you. Because they know you care about their success, not just your own promotion.

Where Do You Focus?

You can take the fast route. Play politics. Be visible. Slime up. Or you can focus on impact. On meaningful work. On helping people grow. Both can get you a promotion. Only one lets you wake up with the feeling that you are building something that matters. Getting faster promotions for new manager starts with the question: do you want a title, or do you want to be a leader people want to follow?

Interested or curious? Let’s chat! Plan your free introduction here. Zero obligation.

Setting Boundaries for Early-Career Managers: Why It’s So Hard (And What Actually Works)

David Buirs | Leadership Expert

This article addresses the common struggle of setting boundaries for early-career managers. It explains why saying “yes” to everything hurts both the manager and the team’s development. Practical techniques, including the “Yes, And” method, are provided to help managers reclaim their time.

You just got promoted to manager. Congrats. Now everyone wants something from you.

Your inbox won’t stop. Your calendar is packed. Someone asks for “just a quick minute” for the third time today. You say yes to everything because that’s what good managers do, right?

But when you can’t master setting boundaries for early-career managers, you end up drowning in other people’s urgent stuff while your actual job gets ignored.

Why Early-Career Managers Can’t Say No

Most new managers struggle with setting boundaries because they want to be liked. This is a recurring theme in my leadership coaching; the fear of becoming the “bad guy.”

You remember the managers who got weird after their promotion. Distant. Hard to reach. You told yourself you’d be different. The approachable one. The one with a real open door policy.

So you say yes to everything. Every meeting. Every question. Every problem your team could probably solve themselves. And then you wonder why you’re exhausted.

What You’re Missing When You Can’t Set Boundaries

When you are always saying yes, here is what doesn’t get done:

  1. You stop planning. No time to think about next quarter or spot problems before they blow up.
  2. You stop learning. That course you wanted to take? Still on the list.
  3. You stop coaching. Real coaching takes focus. When you’re interrupted all day, you just give quick answers instead of helping people figure things out.
  4. You lose focused work. The big analysis. The strategy doc. The performance review that needs real thought. All of it gets rushed or pushed to nights and weekends.

What Happens When You Never Say No

You think boundaries will make you look bad. But here is what actually goes wrong when you can’t set them.

Your team learns they need you for everything. You are creating people who can’t solve problems on their own. This is exactly why organizations invest in in-company management training: to prevent managers from becoming the bottleneck that slows down the entire department.

Your boss thinks you are only good at small tasks because you never have time for the bigger strategic work. You get tired and annoyed. People can tell. The work that would actually help your team get better never happens.

The “Yes, And” Trick from Improv

Here is a simple technique that helps with setting boundaries for early-career managers without sounding like a jerk.

In improv, performers use “yes, and” to accept what someone says and then add to it. You can use the same thing to acknowledge requests without automatically doing them.

The “Yes, And” in practice:

  • The Request: “Can you jump into this meeting?”
    • Your Answer: “Yes, I can see why my input would help, and I think Sarah actually knows more about this. Let me connect you two.”
  • The Request: “Can you help with this?”
    • Your Answer: “Yes, this sounds important, and I’m tied up until Thursday. Can it wait or should we find someone else to help?”
  • The Request: “I have a problem.”
    • Your Answer: “Yes, I hear you’re stuck, and I’d like to hear what ideas you’ve already tried.”

This works because you acknowledge the person. They don’t feel blown off. But you still protect your time.

Boundaries You Can Actually Use

Here are some boundaries you can start using today.

Around time:

  • “I’m available for questions Tuesday and Thursday, 2-3 PM.”
  • “I keep mornings free for focused work.”
  • “I check email three times a day. Urgent stuff goes on Slack.”

For what you will do:

  • “I can point you to resources, and then you take the first shot at solving this.”
  • “Let’s spend 15 minutes on this, then you keep going.”
  • “I’ll review what you come up with, but I need you to build it.”

About decisions:

  • “This is your call. I trust your judgment.”
  • “Bring me your recommendation, not just the problem.”
  • “I’ll decide, but you need to do the analysis.”

These boundaries don’t just protect your time. They help your team get better at their jobs.

How to Start Setting Boundaries

Pick one thing that keeps pulling you away from important work. Figure out a “yes, and” response that redirects it. Use that response three times this week.

You will feel weird about it. That is normal. Someone might push back a little.

But you will also have time to actually plan. To think. To help your team grow instead of just answering questions all day. Setting boundaries for early-career managers means you can finally do the parts of the job that matter. Planning. Developing people. Making real decisions.

Your team doesn’t need you available every second. They need you clear-headed and focused.

Interested how you can apply this in your work? Schedule a free introduction here.

How Important is Productivity in Leadership?

I had a coaching session recently that brought back something personal.
I used to lead with one priority: get things done. Task-first. No small talk. Just results.

“Blue/Red” on DISC, if you know it.
Back then, I saw work as a series of checklists. What mattered was getting through them as efficiently as possible.
But that mindset, left unchecked, costs more than it gives.

Because one day, I asked myself:
If I do this for 40 years—just execute, just produce—what’s left at the end?
A clean inbox?
We spend most of our waking life at work. If we don’t build relationships there—if we don’t create meaning—what are we really doing?

I’ve learned that leadership isn’t about squeezing every drop of output from your day.
It’s about being kind. Honest. Doing work that matters.

No one follows a checklist. They follow someone they believe in.
If you’re stuck in a perpetual “just get it done” mode, take a breath.
Then ask: what actually matters?

When Do You Become Too Self-critical?

“I’m just holding myself to a high standard.”
Are you?
Or are you just being harsh?

There’s a subtle trap many high performers fall into—especially new managers:

Mistaking self-criticism for motivation.

We think:
☑ “If I don’t push myself, I’ll get lazy.”
☑ “That wasn’t good enough—I should’ve done better.”
☑ “I need to be tough on myself, or I won’t improve.”

But neuroscience and psychology tell a different story.

🔬 Studies show that self-compassion, not self-judgment, leads to higher resilience, motivation, and long-term growth.

It’s not about going easy on yourself.
It’s about not tearing yourself down.

Here’s what helps me reframe:

“I did my best with the resources I had at that moment. Now, what can I learn for next time?”

That mindset still drives improvement—but without the emotional bruising.

Leadership is already tough. You don’t have to lead yourself with a whip.

What if your biggest sign of worth isn’t your car, title, or the number on your pay check?

David Buirs | Leadership Coach & Management Trainer

What if it’s your personality?

What if we worried more about living a life always trying to fit in, instead of worrying about person X’s opinion on our slide deck?
What if we lay awake at night because we failed to make everyone in our team feel heard, not because we missed our (still important) quarterly objectives?
What if we feared going through life always wearing a mask, instead of being judged by people who don’t know us well?

What if we swapped some Instagram scrolling for a few pages of a thought-provoking book?
What if some of the time we spend in the gym, at the hairdresser, or shopping for clothes went into strengthening our character?

This idea runs through Nietzsche’s work (minus Instagram, the gym, and the hairdresser 😉):
Creating the self—your character—as a work of art.
Not to gain acceptance or respect from others.
Not modelled on how you think others want to see you.
But in the way you want to. Your unique personal style.

Not style as in how you dress, but the deepest expression of your values, commitments, and way of being.

This process takes reflection, courage, and the willingness to face challenges.
Less worrying about people’s opinions. More following your passions and self-expression.
Less uniformity and mediocrity. More uniqueness and creativity.
More life-affirmation, humour, and courage. Less playing safe.

But what about my numbers and KPIs?
I believe this path often turns you into someone others want to follow.
And then your KPIs tend to follow too.

The Power of Your Expectations

How much do you really believe in your team’s potential?

The expectations you set for them could be the difference between success and stagnation.

The Pygmalion Effect shows us that when you expect your team to succeed, they’re more likely to do so.

But the Golem Effect tells us the opposite:
If you expect little, your team may underperform—whether you intend that or not.

I wish I knew about these effects a few years ago, as they’re very real.

Your beliefs can either limit or amplify your team’s growth.

High expectations encourage initiative, creativity, and responsibility.
Low expectations breed hesitation and a lack of engagement.

To maximize your team’s potential, focus on the power of your belief in them.

Challenge yourself:
Are you empowering your team through trust and high expectations?
Or are you holding them back with doubt?

🔺Are you looking for an incompany management training? I’d love to discuss this further!

How To Stop Negativity From Spreading In Your Team

David Buirs | Leadership Expert

Negativity spreads fast.

One complaint turns into a group venting session.
One frustration becomes the team’s mood.

I’ve seen it happen. And as a manager, it can make you feel powerless.

Especially when the frustration is about things outside your control—like salaries, company policies, or strategic decisions made higher up.

You don’t want to silence people. They have the right to voice concerns.
At the same time, research shows that some ways of dealing with negativity—like avoidance, suppression, or manipulation—only make things worse. Instead of resolving tension, these approaches allow negativity to fester or resurface in unproductive ways.

So, how do you manage it?

1. Acknowledge, but don’t amplify

Let people vent, but don’t fuel the fire.
“I hear you. This is frustrating. What do you think we can do within our control?”
Redirect the conversation toward action.

2. Reframe the narrative

Negativity thrives in a vacuum. If people lack context, they assume the worst.
As a manager, you can help reframe the situation:
“I get why this feels unfair, but here’s the bigger picture…”

This is called reappraisal—shifting how we interpret a situation. Studies show that once a new perspective spreads among 25-40% of a group, the rest will likely adopt it too.

3. Set the emotional tone

Your team will take cues from you. Stay calm, steady, and constructive.

Negativity isn’t the enemy. But letting it take over is.

Strong leaders don’t ignore emotions. They help teams process them—without getting stuck.

How To Manage Underperformers

The first time you realize someone on your team isn’t keeping up, it’s uncomfortable.

You ask yourself:

❌ Am I being too tough—or not tough enough?
❌ Do they need more support—or is it time for a hard conversation?
❌ How do I handle this without losing their trust?

These moments test you as a leader.

Some managers avoid them. Others come down too hard.

The best ones? They navigate them with clarity, honesty, and care.

This guide will show you how to:

✅ Pinpoint the real performance gap
✅ Have the conversation the right way
✅ Balance support with accountability

See the “Free Downloads” section of this website for the PDF to browse through 👉

How To Deal With Anger At Work

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳?

When people got angry at or around me, I used to feel very uncomfortable.

Today, I practice a different response: 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆.

Anger can feel like an attack, but it’s rarely random.
In fact, anger often has a clear purpose—conscious or not.

People get angry because they’re trying to achieve something.

• Maybe they want you to stop doing something.
• Maybe they’re trying to control the situation.
• Maybe they’re protecting their ego, their reputation, or something they deeply care about.

Here’s the proof that anger is goal-driven and not just uncontrollable emotion:

▪️ 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘀-𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵.
Does the person yell at them? No—because their goal in that moment is safety, not confrontation.

▪️ 𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸.
Do most people explode with anger? No—because their goal is likely to maintain their job and reputation, even if they disagree.

If anger were uncontrollable, people would snap in these situations too. But they don’t.
𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹.

The next time a colleague gets angry at you, take a breath.

Instead of snapping back, ask yourself:
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿?

Are they trying to feel heard? Are they trying to protect something?

This shift from defensiveness to curiosity helps you take control of the situation.

𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗼: curiosity has been shown to deactivate the threat response in our brain, allowing us to engage more calmly and constructively in conflict. It’s also linked to higher emotional intelligence, better relationships, and more effective conflict resolution.

This doesn’t mean tolerating bad behavior—boundaries are still crucial.
But when you see anger as a sign of unmet needs rather than a personal attack, you stop reacting and start responding thoughtfully.

So next time someone gets angry, pause and ask:

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹?

You’ll be surprised how much clarity—and calm—you gain.