HR- or L&D Manager: You are not a firefighter, even if your workday feels like it

David Buirs | Leadership Expert

Summary: This article addresses HR managers dealing with high operational pressure due to inexperienced first-time leaders. It explores the psychological transition from specialist to manager and the necessity of personal leadership as a foundation. The content highlights the 7:1 ROI of management training to reduce turnover and absenteeism and improve engagement and retention.

You open your inbox and there is the first sick report of the day again. Followed by a message from a frustrated employee who “needs to talk” about their manager. You know exactly what is happening. That one talented specialist who was promoted six months ago is stuck. He is working harder than ever, but his team is falling apart. For these experts, targeted management training for new managers is crucial to make the leap from content to impact.


Searching for the right course

New managers often lack a clear compass in the beginning. They fall back on their intuition or on how they were once managed themselves, which is not always the best blueprint for their current team. Sometimes they are overconfident and steamroll over people with a tunnel vision on results. Others withdraw and become too detached out of fear of making mistakes. You see them searching: one day too task-oriented and authoritarian, the next day too soft because they do not want to lose the connection. These fluctuations in style cause a restlessness that lands directly on your desk.


Why HR often needs to “clean up the mess”

It is a classic pattern for which you pay the price. A good technical expert is pushed into a leadership role without hesitation. The result? A manager who micromanages because he does not dare to let go of the wheel. And who gets to conduct the difficult conversations, manage the absenteeism, and handle the exit interviews when talent leaves? You.

This constant patching up eats your calendar. You simply do not get to the strategic work you were actually hired for. You are busy all day closing holes in the culture caused by faltering leadership. Targeted management training for new managers prevents HR from remaining the organization’s cleanup crew.


Stop the bleeding with personal leadership

Real leadership is not a list of skills you simply check off. It starts with the courage to look in the mirror. We must return to the foundation: Personal Leadership. Only when a manager understands why he holds on to that control so convulsively or why he avoids that confrontation does something change on the shop floor. Without that psychological depth, any management training remains a case of mopping with the tap open.


The calculation your Board understands

Let’s be honest: you also have to sell this internally. The cost of high employee turnover in teams is enormous, but the solution pays for itself twice over. Figures show that every dollar you put into decent leadership development yields an average of 7 dollars in value.

That means less absenteeism, lower recruitment costs, and above all: a team that runs independently again. It gives you the space to be that strategic partner again instead of the permanent crisis manager. A good investment in leadership coaching or management training for new managers is therefore not a cost, but pure profit for the peace in your organization.

Schedule a free introduction call here to discuss the possibilities for your context.

Why your team meetings feel like a slow death

David Buirs | Leadership Expert

This article provides a strategic framework for new managers on how to lead team meetings better through boundary setting and a team charter. It identifies the psychological resistance to confronting senior staff and provides a downloadable manifesto for team efficiency, which can be used by managers and non-managers (informal leadership) alike. The focus is on moving from reactive management to proactive leadership impact.

Your inbox is a crime scene. Deadlines stack up while you sit in another hour of corporate theater. A senior lead invites you to a meeting with no agenda. No context. You watch your afternoon vanish in real-time.

Most new leaders treat these invites like a summons to court. You show up. You endure ten minutes of weather talk. You watch a colleague turn a “short update” into a personal manifesto. You leave the room feeling drained. If you want to know how to lead team meetings better, stop being a hostage to them.

The cost of passive leadership

Real leadership requires backbone. You must realize that your time is your only true capital. If you do not manage yourself, you cannot manage a team. You are simply reacting to the loudest person in the room.

You have two choices when the “agenda-less” invite arrives.

You can pretend your Wi-Fi died and vanish. It is a temporary escape, but it solves nothing. Or, you can be direct. Ask a simple question before you click “Accept”: “What is the specific goal of this meeting so I can prepare properly?”

From corporate theater to a team manifesto

During the session, be the one who interrupts the noise. When the conversation drifts, name the pain. “We are off-topic. Let’s get back to the objective.”

If you want your team to change their behavior, use this meeting efficiency manifesto. It is a team charter designed to kill the fluff and focus on impact. You can even introduce it without being the formal leader of the group. By doing show, you demonstrate informal leadership.

The managers I support in leadership coaching often fear this confrontation. They think the room will bite back. It won’t. Most people will silently thank you for rescuing them from another hour of wasted budget.

Stop “putting out fires” by attending every fire drill. Start owning the room by owning your boundaries.

Schedule a free introduction call to discuss the possibilities for your situation and see if there is mutual chemistry here.

Time management for new managers: Escape the urgency trap

 

This article provides a strategic framework for time management for new managers, focusing on the shift from reactive firefighting to proactive leadership. It explains how to use the Important vs Urgent Matrix to delegate effectively and reduce operational stress. The guide emphasizes that personal leadership is the foundation of long-term managerial success

 

Time management for new managers: Escape the urgency trap

The promotion felt like a reward, but the reality feels like a trap. You spent years becoming an expert in your field, only to find that your expertise is now the very thing keeping you stuck in the office at 7:00 PM. You are drowning in a sea of “quick questions” and urgent emails while your own strategic work gathers dust. This is the core challenge of time management for new managers: distinguishing between being busy and being effective.

From expert to firefighter

Most managers are addicted to the “urgent”. It provides an immediate dopamine hit to solve a problem or answer a crisis. We call this “putting out fires management”. You feel necessary, but you are actually stagnant. By constantly reacting, you neglect the Personal Leadership required to build a self-sustaining team. You are not leading; you are just the most stressed person in the room. The effect driving this is called the Mere Urgency effect, a bias us humans have to focus on things that are urgent rather than important.

 

Using the Matrix to reclaim your day

To master time management for new managers, you must look at your tasks through the lens of the Important vs Urgent Matrix. Most managers live in the bottom-left quadrant—tasks that need to get done, but not necessarily by you. This is the “Delegate” zone.

By categorizing your work, you identify what truly contributes to your long-term success. It forces you to schedule the work that matters and eliminate the noise that masquerades as an emergency. It is a tool for clarity in a world of role ambiguity.
 

Efficiency as a byproduct of Personal Leadership

Real leadership is the art of becoming obsolete in the daily operations so you can focus on the growth of the team. If you are still “doing” instead of “leading,” you are stealing development opportunities from your team. Effective time management is not about doing more; it is about doing less, better. Here are 3 tips to help you:

  • Kill the notifications: It takes 23 minutes to regain deep focus after a distraction.

  • The 60-minute block: Schedule one hour of “uninterruptible” time daily for strategic thinking.

  • The “No” Audit: If a task doesn’t require your specific leadership level, it belongs on someone else’s desk.

Investing just 2 hours a month in leadership coaching provides the external perspective needed to stop being a firefighter and start being a leader.

Schedule a free introduction call here to discuss the possibilities for your specific situation.

 

Why you freeze during tough conversations.

Leadership coaching Amsterdam | David Buirs

This article analyzes the physical stress response managers experience during difficult conversations. It provides practical self-regulation techniques based on neuroscience to reduce tension. The content establishes Personal Leadership as the foundation for effective communication.

You are standing at the door of the meeting room. You’ve rehearsed the script in your head three times, yet your chest feels tight and your breathing is shallow. You are about to deliver a confrontational message, and your body is in survival mode.

This isn’t a lack of preparation; it’s a biological reflex. Your system perceives social conflict as a physical threat. The urge to tense your muscles and shut down mentally is a defense mechanism that might protect you from pain, but it also isolates you from your team.

Personal Leadership starts with your own biology

Real leadership requires the courage to stay open when everything in you wants to armor up. We call this Personal Leadership. When you close your heart to protect yourself, you don’t just block the tension—you block the connection needed to achieve a result. You become a transmitter instead of a partner.

The key to less tension during difficult conversations lies in recognizing this physical constriction. The moment you feel your chest tighten, force yourself to release that tension. Relax your shoulders. Slow your breath. This is not a vague exercise; it is pure neuroscience to pull your brain out of ‘fight-or-flight’ mode.

The power of grounded confrontation

If you remain open, you unconsciously compel the other person to do the same. People sense whether you are speaking from fear or authority. By not suppressing the tension, but physically relaxing into it, you create space for an honest dialogue. You will notice team resistance decreases as soon as you stop building walls.

Whether it’s a performance review or correcting a senior expert, you don’t have to eliminate the fear. You only need to learn how to stay present with it without cramping up. That is the difference between a manager putting out fires and a leader who transforms.

Do you want to dive deeper into your own patterns? During a leadership coaching trajectory, we look together at what is still holding you back from facing confrontation with total composure.

Schedule a free introduction call here to discuss the possibilities for your context.

Self-confidence as a leader: Quiet the balcony critics

David Buirs Leadership Coach

Summary: This article deconstructs the internal critic through the Muppet metaphor and positions mindfulness as an essential cognitive discipline for professional success. It provides a concrete framework to eliminate reactive thinking and restore self-confidence as a leader by establishing conscious distance from negative thought patterns.

What’s the connection between The Muppets and leadership? This isn’t a joke. It’s a diagnostic tool for your brain.

Remember Waldorf and Statler, the two critics in the balcony? They are the perfect metaphor for your mind. They sit there, judging every decision you make, every email you send, and every conflict you avoid.

Evolutionarily, this makes sense. Your brain is a radar scanning for danger. In the past, it was tigers. Today, it’s a negative performance review or a team member who doesn’t take you seriously. This constant scanning erodes your self-confidence as a leader.

The hard truth You cannot silence these critics. They are hard-wired into your biology. But you can change your relationship with them.

Meditation as a cognitive tool Meditation is not about “zen” or “relaxing.” It is about stepping out of that balcony. It is the ability to watch those grumpy guys rant from a distance without letting them grab the steering wheel. Realizing you don’t have to reply to their negativity is the ultimate competitive advantage.

Since I started a daily practice two years ago, my focus has sharpened. The noise decreased. My decision-making became cleaner.

How to start (The no-nonsense method):

  1. Set a timer: Start with 5 or 10 minutes. No excuses.
  2. Posture: Sit comfortably. Close your eyes.
  3. The Breath: Use your breath as an anchor.
  4. Labeling: Thoughts will interrupt. You cannot stop them. Imagine Waldorf and Statler shouting. Label them as “thoughts” and do not engage.
  5. Return: Every time you get distracted, go back to the breath. That is one “rep” for your brain.

Why this matters for your ROI Regular practice increases the grey matter in your brain. It enhances cognitive function. In plain English: it makes you sharper, more resilient, and less prone to stress-driven mistakes. It is a fundamental part of Personal Leadership.

Thinking is a tool. Use it when you need it, then put it away. Don’t let the puppets run the show.

Ready to regain your edge? Give it a go. Or schedule an honest conversation about impact with me.

Check out my Leadership Coaching page, or schedule a free introduction here.

How to Feel More Appreciated at Work: Leading by Example

Leadership coaching Amsterdam | David Buirs

Statistics show that two out of three professionals do not always feel appreciated at work. Feeling valued is a fundamental human need; a lack of it leads to demotivation and the feeling of being unseen. While you cannot force others to show gratitude, you can influence the culture of your team. If you are wondering how to feel more appreciated at work, the answer often lies in taking the initiative yourself.

The Reciprocity of Appreciation

Appreciation is not a one-way street. In my experience as a leadership coach, I often see that the most respected managers are those who actively recognize the value in others. Showing gratitude is as fulfilling as receiving it. It strengthens professional relationships and builds a foundation of trust.

By leading with appreciation, you set a standard. When you make it a habit to acknowledge the contributions of your peers or direct reports, you create an environment where recognition becomes the norm rather than the exception.

A Practical Challenge for Leaders

Gratitude does not always have to be spontaneous to be effective. What matters is that it is genuine. I challenge you to express sincere appreciation to three colleagues over the next ten days. This could be a manager, a direct report, or a peer from a different department.

To help you identify these moments of value, consider the following questions:

  1. Exceeding Expectations: Who recently went above and beyond their role to support you? How did their contribution impact your workload or stress levels?
  2. Character Traits: Which colleague possesses a positive trait, such as patience or analytical sharpness, that you value? Share why you appreciate that specific quality.
  3. Culture and Impact: Who has made a positive impact on the team culture lately? What was the tangible result of their attitude?
  4. Growth and Advice: Who offered valuable insights that helped you progress on a project? Acknowledge how their advice contributed to the final result.

Taking Control of Your Professional Environment

Waiting for appreciation can lead to frustration and a sense of powerlessness. Taking the lead in recognizing others is a form of personal leadership. It shifts the focus from what you are lacking to what you can contribute to the professional climate.

If you find that despite your efforts, the lack of recognition is structural, it might be time to look at your leadership style or the dynamics within your team. My management training programs are designed to help new managers navigate these exact challenges, moving from pleasing behavior to authentic and impactful leadership.

The more you integrate appreciation into your daily routine, the more likely it is to return to you. It is a strategic way to build a culture where everyone feels seen and motivated.

Want experienced support in your journey to become a better leader? Let’s talk. Schedule your free introduction here.

AI and Leadership – How do Managers Prepare for the Future?

AI and Leadership event

AI sometimes reminds me of the game peek-a-boo. Every time you open your eyes, it has moved closer, and much faster than you think.

As a leadership coach and trainer, I’m very interested in AI and its implications for leadership. That’s why I attended the D2 collective’s “Leading the Next Generation of Work” event at the Prosus office this week, listening to senior leaders from companies like Microsoft and Prosus. Again, I’m amazed by how fast things are moving.

Especially around the role of agents: pieces of software you can program using natural language through tools like ChatGPT or Gemini. They execute tasks and work autonomously.

For example, you can say: “When a customer emails about a refund, pull up the customer data, decide whether to approve it based on these criteria. If approved, initiate the refund and reply with a confirmation”.

Without human intervention. Some companies have up to 30,000 different agents. Whatever one learns, others pick up immediately. The speed of learning is tremendous.

In the coming years, most of us will be managing agents. This sounds either amazing or dystopian, depending on your perspective. But the predictions go further: many of us will be managed by an AI agent. We also expect the first billion-dollar company run by a single human, assisted by agents, within the next few years.

This will significantly impact the job market. Technical knowledge on an individual level will become less valuable and companies will likely need fewer employees. We are already seeing this trend.

As agents take on more and more tasks, a human will need to be accountable for the outcome. Job descriptions will shift from a focus on tasks to a focus on accountability.

The traditional role of middle management has been to relay information from the floor to leadership. AI can do this more efficiently, making traditional middle management either obsolete or frees them to focus on coaching and support.

In general, I expect companies to need fewer managers. Because typical managerial tasks can be automated, time is freed up for leadership work like coaching.

My advice to all managers: start developing those human skills now.

We are not powerless. Certain skills will become increasingly relevant to staying valuable in the job market:

• Judgment and critical thinking: A human remains responsible for the outcome. AI can make mistakes.

• Curiosity: Having powerful AI without knowing asking the right questions is like owning a Ferrari you cannot drive. “Garbage in, garbage out” still applies.

• Emotional intelligence: As technical work is automated, what remains are interpersonal tasks like coaching, communication, and brainstorming.

How to start? If you’re not using AI yet, start practicing with LLMs like ChatGPT or Gemini. If you already do, practice creating better prompts or try building your first agent for a simple task.

In my leadership coaching and management training, I help my clients to stay relevant over the coming years.

Interested? Let’s talk. Schedule your free introduction here.

AI and the Future of Leadership

EY - Future of Work Event Amsterdam

This week I joined the “𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗖𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗕𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗔𝗜” event at EY’s Amsterdam office, hosted by Maarten Lintsen, with sharp insights from Anna van den Breemer- Kleene, Isabel Moll – Kranenburg, and Rina Joosten-Rabou.

I went because I’m fascinated, sometimes a bit scared even, by how fast this field is moving and what it means for leadership, work, and meaning. Here’s what I picked up.

𝟭. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗮-𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄

A theme that surfaced in the panel and in a side conversation with Marielle Willemse: leaders need the capacity to zoom out. To look at their strategic goals, and find creative ways of making AI work for them. To avoid AI tunnel vision.
Take recruitment. If efficiency is the only aim, we automate CV screening. Yet CVs predict about 3 percent of job success. Faster, not smarter. The better question is how AI helps us hire people with those skills that can transform and innovate an organisation. Use AI to assess skills and potential, not to count CV buzzwords.

𝟮. 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽

Only those leaders that adapt fast enough to AI will remain. Relevance requires AI literacy. Which isn’t coding, but understanding how you can make it work for you. Leaders must make it safe to experiment. If teams are scared to try, adoption among employees slows.

𝟯. 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆

Knowledge will lose most of its value, for individuals. AI gives us access to collective intelligence, so value shifts from knowing to interpreting and asking the right questions. Meanwhile, Europe’s productivity growth is slowing. How can we use AI and agents to turn this around?

𝟰. 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲

Culture is how we create meaning together, yet it is slippery. AI can help define it. It can show what your culture is today, which behaviors match your future state, and how to monitor and steer progress. Less guessing, more knowing.

𝟱. 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆

AI can do a lot, but it can’t show empathy… right?
In one study, patients rated AI doctors as more empathetic than human ones. To be fair, doctors have limited time, AI doesn’t. But still..

𝟲. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

In the next few years most of us will have personal AI agents that book meetings, analyze data, and complete tasks. My personal view: They will talk, write, and appear on video indistinguishably from humans.
Isn’t there anything they can’t do? I think only face-to-face human connection will remain uniquely human. Having a conversation, sharing a coffee.

𝟳. 𝗠𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴

AI and robots will be able to do almost everything humans do faster and cheaper. We will need new sources of meaning beyond productivity. Keep developing the parts that make us human: creativity, curiosity, empathy, connection.

𝟴. 𝟮𝟬𝟯𝟬 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱..

AI’s impact in the next decade will be faster and bigger than most of us realize, I think. The question is not whether AI replaces us, but whether we evolve quickly enough to stay meaningfully human alongside it.

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Want your managers to be ready for the coming years? AI adoption is a part of the leadership programs I create and deliver, and comes up in 1-on-1 leadership coaching I offer to ambitious early-career managers. Schedule a free introduction call here. I’d love to tell you more.