Are you better at strategy than your CEO? You might be.

David Buirs - Leadership Coach & Management Trainer

Are You Better at Strategy Than Your CEO? You Might Be.

David Buirs is a leadership and executive coach based in the Amsterdam region, working with senior leaders, directors and executive teams. This article walks through Richard Rumelt's four-part framework for real strategy and offers a short test for assessing your own company's strategy. It is written for executives who want to sharpen their strategic thinking.

By the time you finish reading this, you'll know.

Most strategies that boards and executive teams produce have one big problem.

They're not strategies.

Then what are they? Often, a list of goals, a wishlist really, dressed up in fluffy, strategic sounding language.

You've seen them. "We will become the market leader by combining operational excellence with customer focus and an innovative culture. We will invest in our people, strengthen our technology, and build sustainable partnerships."

Sounds substantial. But look closer. There's no analysis of what's actually happening. No real choice. No mention of what the company will refuse to do. And no specific obstacle to break through first.

What you're left with is a list of good intentions, written in language that sounds strategic and complex. Sometimes even packaged in a 50-slide deck.

What real strategy actually looks like

Richard Rumelt, the UCLA strategy professor and one of the world's most respected strategy experts, wrote a whole book about this called Good Strategy, Bad Strategy. His point fits in one line. Most "strategies" are just wishlists, wrapped up in fluffy language. And that holds for most strategy for executives produced at board level today.

So what is a real strategy then? At its heart, a real strategy is a creative way to focus your limited resources, your time, money, attention, and energy, on overcoming the one obstacle that matters most.

Rumelt argues that to do that well, a strategy needs four parts. Miss one, and what you have isn't really a strategy.

I'll walk you through the four parts, using the example of Southwest Airlines.

A diagnosis. This is an honest and accurate analysis of what's actually going on. For Southwest, the diagnosis was that flying short distances within the US wasn't working well for most travelers. The big airlines were all built around long-haul flights, and they routed most passengers through a few large central airports, forcing you to change planes along the way. So a short flight between two nearby cities was often expensive, slow, and full of layovers. A clear picture of what was actually wrong with the market.

An obstacle. Within every diagnosis sits one core problem you have to break through before anything else works. Rumelt calls it the crux. For Southwest, the crux was a tough one. How do you make short flights cheap and fast enough to compete with cars and buses, when every existing airline's cost structure makes that essentially impossible?

A guiding policy. This is the approach you'll take to overcome that obstacle, before any concrete actions. Southwest's was simple to state. Be the cheapest, fastest airline for short US flights. Just one sentence, and yet look at everything it quietly rules out. No long-haul. No business class. No in-flight meals. No partnerships with other airlines. No making passengers connect through large central airports.

Coherent actions. Finally, a handful of moves that reinforce each other and flow from the policy. Southwest flew only one aircraft type (737s) to keep maintenance and training cheap. They used secondary airports with lower landing fees. They had no assigned seating, which made boarding faster. They cross-trained ground crews for 20-minute turnarounds. Point-to-point routes only, no connections through central hubs. Every action made the others work better, and none of them contradicted the policy.

That's a strategy. Compare it to something like "innovate faster and cut costs and improve customer focus and shrink every department by ten percent". One is a set of clear, reinforcing choices designed to overcome a main obstacle. The other is what an executive team produces when it's avoiding the work of actually choosing.

Want to try it for yourself?

If you have access to it, look at your organization's strategy statement or document.

Then ask yourself three questions. What specific problem is this strategy solving? What's the approach we've chosen? And what are we explicitly refusing to do?

If you can't answer in single sentences, you're probably holding a wishlist.

And honestly, you're in good company if that's the case. Research from MIT Sloan found that only 28% of executives and middle managers responsible for executing strategy could name three of their company's top priorities. Older HBR research from Kaplan and Norton suggested fewer than 5% of employees understood their company's strategy at all.

Which means the people running organizations often struggle to put into words where they're actually trying to take them.

This isn't really their fault

Strategic thinking is rarely taught explicitly. A handful of MBA programs cover it well, but most don't. Most senior leaders pick up bits of it on the job, if at all.

And the executive role already asks a lot. Operations, people, stakeholders, the board, market changes, the next earnings cycle. Strategy work tends to happen in whatever gaps remain after everything else has been handled.

So it's no surprise that most strategy documents come out looking the way they do.

Which is exactly the opportunity

This isn't a niche problem either. Big corporations do it. Governments do it too. Multi-billion-euro national plans that, on closer read, turn out to be mostly lists of intentions with budgets attached.

Which is precisely what makes real strategy such an advantage. Strong strategy for executives is rare enough that getting it right pulls you ahead of most of your peers by default.

The whole point of strategy is concentration. You have limited resources, whether that's time, money, attention, or your team's energy. A real strategy points all of them at the one obstacle that, once broken through, makes everything else easier. That's where outsized results come from.

Most organizations end up spreading their resources thinly across a dozen vague ambitions that don't reinforce each other. Small wins everywhere. Real progress nowhere.

An executive team that actually concentrates its resources on the right obstacle pulls ahead in ways that compound, year after year, while the competition keeps trying to do operational excellence and innovation and customer focus and three other things all at the same time.

The companies and leaders who get this right become very hard to catch.

Where you go from here

If you've read this far, and you've started mentally running your own company's strategy through Rumelt's four parts, that's actually a really good sign. That instinct, the slight discomfort about whether what you're calling a strategy actually is one, is exactly the right starting point.

From here it gets more interesting. The harder part is bringing this thinking into your executive team in a way that opens up the conversation, rather than putting people on the defensive. That's where most leaders find they need a thinking partner.

For senior leaders who want to sharpen their strategy for executives, my coaching for senior leaders is built for exactly that work. For organizations that want to bring this clarity to a wider management layer, management training applies the same principles across teams.

What did you find when you tested your company's strategy?

Interested or curious? Let's chat. Plan your free introduction here. Zero obligation.

Self-Awareness In Leadership: The Real Foundation

Incompany Management Trainer | David Buirs

Leadership Begins With Self-Awareness

David Buirs is a leadership and executive coach based in Amsterdam. This post explains why self-awareness is the foundation of every form of leadership development and why trainings without that foundation often fail to stick. The reader learns about the role of self-inquiry in lasting behavioural change as a leader.

There are managers who take a new leadership training every two years. They know all the models. They can draw Covey's quadrants from memory and explain how feedback works on paper.

And yet on Monday morning, they do exactly what they always did.

Why? Because the foundation is missing that all that knowledge is supposed to land on.

Knowledge versus self-knowledge

Leadership is only a small part knowledge. It's mostly about knowing who you are when the pressure rises.

A manager who finds feedback difficult doesn't need a new feedback model. What she needs first is insight into why feedback feels so heavy. Is it an old belief that conflict is dangerous? A conviction that being liked matters more than being clear?

Without that insight, you learn a technique. With it, you learn to recognise a pattern.

Know thyself

Above the entrance of the oracle at Delphi stood the words "know thyself". Centuries later, Jung put it more sharply. The person who doesn't look inward keeps wondering why the same problems follow him around.

Every experienced leader recognises this. The manager who doesn't know her triggers keeps reacting instead of leading. The director who doesn't know where his insecurity sits covers it with political games.

Those patterns can change. Just not before you see them.

The paradox of self-awareness

Here is where things get interesting. Organisational psychologist Tasha Eurich ran a multi-year research programme on self-awareness involving thousands of people. The finding was striking. Around 95 percent of people believe they are self-aware. In reality, only 10 to 15 percent actually are.

This connects to something more familiar from psychology: the Dunning-Kruger effect. The less you know about something, the more you tend to overestimate your ability in it. Not from arrogance. Simply because you are not yet skilled enough to see what you cannot see.

For leadership, this is uncomfortable. The one skill that makes the biggest difference is also the skill we most often misjudge in ourselves.

This is no reason for cynicism. It is a reason to stay curious. A leader who keeps questioning herself and actively asks for feedback belongs to the small group that genuinely grows.

Why so many trainings don't stick

This is why many leadership trainings fade within a month. Participants learn skills and apply them on top of patterns that were never examined. A thin layer of varnish on old wood.

A good leadership training starts with self-inquiry. What are your blind spots? When do you fall back into old patterns? Which beliefs about authority, conflict or success sit so deep you barely notice them anymore?

Once those questions are answered, feedback models and coaching conversations get real traction. They become extensions of who you are.

What this means for organisations

The same applies to an entire management team. An organisation that invests in leadership development without self-awareness as a foundation is investing in technique without context. The training itself can be solid. Without serious self-inquiry, behaviour change stays surface-level.

For organisations looking to work on leadership structurally, a leadership development program that integrates self-inquiry is a sensible choice. For individual managers, coaching for managers offers the space to do this work one-on-one. For directors at board level, executive coaching amsterdam is a natural place to ask the same questions at that level.

An invitation

Self-awareness is not a destination. You learn who you are by acting, bumping into things, looking back, and moving on.

If this speaks to you and you're curious what this work could look like for you or your team, a free introduction is a good first step. No sales. Just a conversation.

Promoting your best employee: a costly mistake

David Buirs - Leadership Coach & Management Trainer

Promoting your best employee: the most costly mistake in your organisation

David Buirs is a leadership coach and trainer based in Amsterdam, working with managers and leaders at all levels. This article explains why promoting your best individual contributor into a management role is one of the most common and costly mistakes in talent management. The reader learns which behavioural signals actually indicate leadership potential and how to start developing it early.

You have a standout in your team. Everything they touch works. Deadlines met, quality consistent, output reliable. Colleagues come to them for advice.

And then the thought forms: if they are this good as an individual contributor, they will make a great manager.

It is the most common mistake in talent management.

What happens next

Your best employee becomes a manager. And struggles.

Not because they are not smart or not motivated. But because the skills that made them excellent as an individual contributor have little to do with what is needed to lead a team.

As an individual contributor, you win by being better than others. As a manager, you win by making others better. Those are two fundamentally different disciplines.

And in the process, you also lose your best executor. They are now stuck in back-to-back meetings, having performance conversations they were never trained for, putting out fires they do not fully understand. The work that gave them energy is gone.

Technical excellence says nothing about leadership potential

This sounds obvious. And yet most organisations keep acting as if it is not true.

Leadership potential does not live in technical expertise. It lives in behaviour. In how someone communicates when things get tense. In how someone responds when a colleague pushes back. In whether people actually enjoy working with them, even when they are delivering difficult news.

Does someone ask questions or give answers? Do they seek connection or avoid conflict? Can they regulate themselves when the pressure builds?

Those are the indicators.

The question that rarely gets asked

Do I want the people on this team to be led by this person?

Not: are they good at their job? But: do people feel safe, heard and challenged by them?

That information does not live in performance files. It lives in the informal dynamics of the team. In who people instinctively turn to when a conversation gets difficult. In who makes sure the quieter colleague actually speaks up in a meeting.

Give potential a small assignment first

Do not promote based on performance. Test for potential.

Give someone a small stretch assignment. Have them mentor an intern. Onboard a junior team member. Coordinate a project without you hovering over it.

Then do not evaluate the outcome. Evaluate the behaviour. How do they handle someone who works more slowly? How do they respond when things go off track? Do they ask for help or push through until it breaks?

That tells you more than three years of performance reviews.

Make it explicit in your organisation

Say it out loud: leadership is a separate discipline. Technical ability and management capability are not the same thing.

Then tell people what you are looking for. Not in vague competency frameworks, but concretely. What does a good manager do at your organisation? How does someone behave in a conflict? What do you expect from someone who is developing others?

When people know what you are watching for, they start paying attention to it themselves. That is already a development intervention.

And when someone does have the potential?

Then the real work begins.

Potential that is not supported rarely delivers what it promises. A manager without structured guidance makes the mistakes you end up solving. With the accompanying absence, turnover and team friction.

For organisations that want to tackle this structurally, an in-company leadership development program built around your specific context makes the difference. Not a one-day event, but a trajectory with the repetition and transfer that real behaviour change requires.

For managers who want to work on this individually, I offer coaching for managers at every level, from the newly promoted team lead to the senior leader who wants to lead more deliberately on culture, trust and results.


Curious what this looks like for your organisation or your own role? Let's talk. Plan your free introduction here. Zero obligation.

Coaching for Directors

David Buirs - Leadership Coach & Management Trainer

The higher you rise, the less you hear

David Buirs is a leadership coach based in Amsterdam who works with directors, executives and CEOs on personal leadership development. This article explains why senior leaders receive less feedback the higher they rise, how that affects the entire organisation, and what coaching for directors and executives concretely delivers. References include research by KornFerry/Hay Group and a study published in the Journal of Management Development.

You made it. You are a director now.

Years of hard work, strong results, and now you are at the top. The responsibility is bigger. The decisions are heavier. And the number of people who will tell you honestly what they think of your leadership: smaller than ever before.

That is a paradox most directors, executives and CEOs never say out loud. But almost all of them recognise it immediately.

A fish rots from the head

There is a saying I find uncomfortable. Because it is so precisely true.

"A fish starts rotting from the head."

When leadership at the top is not working well, that spreads through the entire organisation. Not overnight. But slowly, your behaviour, your tone, and your blind spots seep into the culture of everything beneath you.

In how people treat each other. In whether they dare to say what they actually think. In whether they take ownership or wait for you to decide.

That is a significant responsibility. And it asks something of you: the willingness to take yourself seriously as a leader. Not as a subject-matter expert. As the person who sets the tone for everything around you.

The higher you rise, the less feedback you receive

In 1969, Laurence Peter described a phenomenon now known as the Peter Principle. The idea is straightforward. People are promoted based on their performance in their current role. Until they reach a position where those earlier qualities are no longer sufficient.

Many directors became directors because they excelled as managers, as experts, as strategists. Not because they had already proven themselves at the very top of an organisation.

And at that level, honest feedback dries up.

Employees keep their real opinions to themselves. Peer directors are also competitors. The board wants results. And the question "am I actually doing this well?" becomes harder and harder to ask out loud.

That is not a sign of weakness. It is the structural reality of senior leadership.

But without a mirror, you do not grow. And if you as a director stop growing, the organisation stops growing with you.

The loneliness nobody talks about

One of the things I hear most from the directors I work with is how lonely it can be. Not socially. Professionally.

There is nobody you can call without a filter to say you are doubting yourself. Nobody who challenges you the way you needed to be challenged earlier in your career. Nobody to think out loud with about the question that has been on your mind for three weeks.

You carry enormous responsibility. For people, for results, for the direction of the organisation. And most evenings, you carry it alone.

Coaching for directors, executives and CEOs offers exactly that: a conversation with someone who speaks the language. Someone who knows what it feels like to work under high pressure, to navigate politics, and to sometimes simply not know what the right call is.

What the research shows

KornFerry and Hay Group conducted extensive research into the relationship between leadership and business results. Their conclusion: leadership determines 50 to 60 percent of organisational culture, and has a measurable influence of approximately 35 percent on business results.

That is not a soft finding. That is strategy.

And yet coaching for directors is still an afterthought in many organisations. Something for when things go wrong. Not something built in structurally, the way finance or marketing is.

A study published in the Journal of Management Development looked at the impact of leadership coaching on 75 middle and senior managers. The outcome was clear: coaching led to more individual attention for team members, more delegation, and less micromanagement.

Those are precisely the behavioural shifts that ripple through an entire organisation. From director to team member.

I know what it feels like

I spent five years leading a large international team as a director. I know the reality of senior leadership from the inside.

The moments when you doubt yourself but cannot call anyone. The decisions you are not sure about. The meetings where the atmosphere is off but you have not yet figured out how to turn it around.

That experience is not a side note in how I work. It is the foundation.

When we work together on executive coaching, I bring that with me. No theoretical models that read like a management book. An honest conversation about what is actually going on, and what you need to sharpen your leadership.

For organisations that want to work more broadly on leadership development across their management layers, management training is a complement that works deeper into the organisation.

When does coaching for directors make sense?

Not only when things are going wrong.

Coaching makes sense when you feel there is more you could get out of your role. When certain conversations keep getting harder. When your team is not taking the ownership you expect from them. When you notice you are spending more time solving problems than giving direction.

And sometimes it is simply this: you need someone you can be honest with.

That is allowed. That is smart.


Interested, or just curious whether there is a fit? Plan a free introductory call via this page. No sales pitch. Just an honest conversation about what is going on.

Managing a Negative Employee as a Manager: What Works

David Buirs | Leadership Expert

Managing a Negative Employee as a Manager

David Buirs is a leadership coach based in Amsterdam who works with managers and leaders at all levels on handling negativity within their teams. This article helps distinguish between temporary frustration and damaging patterns, and explains why the manager’s own mindset is often the deciding factor in how the conversation goes. Practical scripts make clear how to step in without escalation.

Someone on your team is negative. Every meeting, they have a complaint. Every decision gets an eye roll. Every new initiative gets a “yeah, but…”

Do you say something? Ignore it? You do not want to shut people down, but you also cannot pretend this is not happening.

Managing a negative employee as a manager is not optional. It is part of the role.

Why managers wait

Most managers see it and do nothing. You worry about making it worse. You worry they will get defensive. You worry it will look like you cannot handle feedback.

So you wait. And hope it gets better.

It will not.

The oil stain effect

One person starts complaining. Then someone else joins in. Before long, half your team is focused on what is wrong instead of what is possible.

Negativity spreads. Meetings turn into complaint sessions. Good ideas get shot down before they get a chance.

That said, negativity is sometimes useful feedback wrapped in frustration. Your job is figuring out which one you are dealing with. That is exactly what leadership coaching helps managers work through.

Is this a bad day or a pattern?

Watch for a bit. Is this person having a rough week, or is this who they are every day?

One bad day does not make someone negative. Even a bad week does not. People get frustrated. That is normal and human.

But if it has been three weeks and every conversation is negative, you have a pattern. Patterns do not fix themselves. The longer you wait, the harder the conversation gets.

When to step in

Step in when the behavior is a pattern and not a one-off, when it is affecting other people on the team, and when it is about attitude rather than legitimate concerns about a specific problem.

Let it go when someone is having a bad day, when they are raising valid concerns even if the tone is not perfect, or when the criticism is aimed at a problem and not at people.

The difference: “This process is broken because X” is feedback. “Everything here is terrible” is negativity.

Start with yourself, not with them

Here is something most people do not say out loud: before you go into the conversation, it matters to be honest about your own state of mind.

If you have been irritated by this person for weeks, you may barely notice it anymore. But the irritation is there. And it leaks. In how you look at them. In a silence that runs just a beat too long. In a tone that sounds just a little too flat.

People pick up on that. Especially people who are already on edge.

If you walk in with a hidden verdict, “this person is just difficult,” they feel it. And the conversation becomes a confirmation of what they already suspected: that you have already made up your mind about them.

Try seeing the behavior as a puzzle you want to understand, not a problem you want to get rid of. What makes someone react this way? What has this behavior gotten them in the past? What does it say about what they need?

That shift, from judgment to genuine curiosity, changes everything about how the conversation goes. You might ask the same questions. But you mean them differently. And they feel that.

How to have the first conversation

Pull them aside privately. A casual conversation, no formal setting.

“Hey, I’ve noticed you seem frustrated lately. Is everything okay? Is there something I can help with?”

No accusations. No “you’re being negative.” Just genuine curiosity. And that last part is not a technique. You have to mean it. If you are internally thinking “I’m doing this because I have to,” that is exactly what comes across.

Real curiosity opens things up in a way no script can. Maybe there is something going on you did not know about. Listen. Do not defend yourself or explain anything. Just hear them out.

If there is a real issue underneath, work on it together. “What would make this better?” Now you are solving something, not managing an attitude.

If nothing changes

Sometimes the gentle approach does not work. They seemed better for a day. Then they slipped back into the same behavior.

This is when you set a boundary.

“We talked last week and I thought we’d made some progress. But I’m still hearing a lot of negativity in meetings. I need to be direct: this is affecting the team. When Sarah suggested the new process yesterday, you immediately said it would not work without hearing her out. That makes it harder for everyone to stay focused.”

Be specific. Not “you’re always negative,” but a concrete example of when and what.

Then: “I want to support you, but I also need this to change. What do you need from me to make that happen?”

You are still supportive. But you are making it clear this cannot continue.

Your team is watching

Your team is paying attention to how you handle this. It is a core part of what organizations build through management training: protecting the culture of the team. That matters more than being liked.

Let negativity run unchecked and people learn that complaining is fine. Shut down all criticism and they learn to never speak up again.

Managing a negative employee as a manager is really managing the culture of your whole team. Handle it well and everyone benefits. Avoid it and everyone pays the price.

What to do this week

If you have someone who is consistently negative:

  1. Decide whether this is a pattern or a rough stretch.
  2. Ask yourself honestly: have I already passed judgment? If so, set that aside first.
  3. Schedule a casual one-on-one. No agenda, no formal tone.
  4. Start with genuine curiosity: “I’ve noticed you seem frustrated. What’s going on?”
  5. If nothing changes after two weeks, have the boundary conversation with a specific example ready.

Your team needs someone willing to have uncomfortable conversations when it counts. And who goes into them wanting to understand, not just to correct.


Interested or curious? Let’s chat. Plan your free introduction here. Zero obligation.

Performance review tips for managers

David Buirs - Leadership Coach & Management Trainer

Performance review tips for managers: how to run a conversation that actually works

David Buirs is a leadership coach in the Amsterdam region. This article gives concrete performance review tips for managers. You will learn how to run a review without surprises, with a clear yardstick built on KPIs, OKRs, development goals and behavior, and how to fully understand decisions from your own manager before passing them on to your team.

You stare at the calendar. Next Friday, three o'clock. The conversation you'd rather push to next quarter. You know this team member isn't performing. And you also know you've let it slide for months.

Welcome to the performance review as most managers (new or experienced) run it. Once a year, badly prepared, no clear yardstick, with the quiet hope that it won't be too painful.

Why most performance reviews barely move the needle

Gallup studied how employees worldwide experience their performance reviews. The findings are sobering. Only 21% say their review motivates them to do better work. Only 2% of CHROs in the Fortune 500 believe their own performance management system is effective. And about a third of all reviews actually make performance worse, not better. You can read the Gallup research here.

These numbers point to a system that keeps falling into the same trap.

The cause is almost always identical. The review comes too late, is too vague, and feels to the employee like an opinion rather than an account of facts. The manager has said little throughout the year. At year-end, twenty minutes have to cover what should have been discussed months earlier.

For you as a manager, this is good news. If you do it differently, you stand out. Your people benefit. And your own manager notices.

No surprises. Not a single one.

The most important rule: a good performance review contains no new information.

If your team member hears for the first time that they are falling short on something they had no idea about, you have failed. Because you saved something for November that should have been raised in March. That isn't fair. And it doesn't work.

The review is a summary of a year. What you discuss should already be familiar from at least four or five 1:1 conversations earlier. The official meeting puts it in writing. Nothing more.

This requires regular check-ins from you, short notes throughout the year, and the courage to address small things in the moment. Not waiting until they grow into something big.

Know exactly what you're evaluating on

This is where many managers get stuck. They evaluate on gut feel. No clear yardstick. Which makes every conversation feel arbitrary.

My advice: build your evaluation framework on at least four components.

KPIs. KPI stands for Key Performance Indicator. A measurable number that shows whether a goal is being met. Think revenue, conversion, delivery time, customer satisfaction. Non-negotiable. Known at the start of the year, visible all year long.

OKRs. OKR stands for Objectives and Key Results. An ambitious objective tied to two to four measurable key results that show whether you have achieved it. OKRs go beyond business as usual. They define where the team is trying to grow.

Self-defined development goals. Let your team member formulate one challenging development goal themselves. Something personal. Improving a difficult conversation skill, building a new area of expertise, daring to present to senior leadership. The condition: it has to be genuinely challenging. Otherwise people write down something they would have done anyway. And then your job doesn't stop there. Coach them throughout the year to actually reach that goal. Bring it back into your 1:1s. Ask how it's going. Make space for them to practice and reflect.

How someone behaves. How they collaborate. Whether they show up in line with company values. Someone who delivers 100% of her results but consistently belittles colleagues should not get a strong review. Results without behavior is half a review.

With these four corners in place, your team member knows exactly what you're looking at. And what they can influence themselves.

Talk to HR before the year starts

An important nuance: in most companies, you can't fully define these criteria yourself. Especially around company values, behavioral criteria, and formal rating scales, much is set centrally. That's HR's territory.

So talk to HR before the year begins. Which criteria are fixed by the organization? What freedom do you have to set your own emphasis, for example on KPIs or development goals for your team? How do company values weigh into the final review?

If HR is leaving this loose or vague, don't wait. Take the initiative. Suggest a conversation. Ask where the clarity can be sharpened. That's the kind of preparation a leader who takes their team seriously brings to the table.

For senior leaders this matters double. As an executive, you partly shape how well manager reviews work across the entire organization. Your voice belongs in that conversation. Coaching for senior leaders helps to run these conversations sharply at the leadership level.

Be honest about what good work means

Here it gets uncomfortable. Because managers often don't dare to say this out loud.

Hard work is an investment. And investments don't always pay off.

If someone has worked themselves to the bone all year and the results aren't there, you can express appreciation for the effort. But the review itself shouldn't be skewed by it. Results count. Otherwise you simultaneously devalue the contribution of someone who did deliver.

This is hard because empathy tells us that effort deserves recognition. That's true. But effort and result are two separate variables. You can tell someone they worked hard and that the outcome wasn't enough. That's clarity. Empathy and clarity don't cancel each other out.

Ditch the feedback sandwich

The classic feedback sandwich works like this: say something nice, wrap criticism in the middle, end with something nice. The idea is to soften the pill. In practice, it gets two things wrong at once.

People who overestimate themselves only hear the positive. The criticism slides right past them. People who are insecure only register the negative. The appreciation, they don't believe.

So you end up with two kinds of employees who do nothing with your conversation.

A better approach: separate your messages. Give explicit, standalone praise for what's going well. Give explicit, standalone feedback on what needs to improve. Treat them as two separate conversations within one session. No wrapping. No transition phrases to soften the message.

People feel taken more seriously by clarity than by tidiness.

Understand what you're passing on

This may be the least mentioned, but most important point for you as a manager.

Jocko Willink, former Navy SEAL and author of Extreme Ownership, writes about a principle he calls Leading Up the Chain of Command. The idea: before you pass a decision from above to your team, it's your job to fully understand that decision yourself.

Translate that to performance reviews. Your manager hands you guidelines for the review cycle. Or a salary increase budget that's tight. Or a new set of criteria. Many managers take it and pass it on. With a shrug when their team member asks why.

That's a failure of leadership.

Before you pass anything along, ask your own manager questions. Understand the reasoning. Ask critical questions from a place of curiosity. Make sure you can defend the decision as if it were your own. Because the moment you pass it on, it is yours.

This does two things. Your people get a real explanation, not a bureaucratic one. And you grow as a leader. You learn to lead up to your manager, not only down to your team.

Prepare like it matters

Preparation for a performance review doesn't start the week before. It starts eleven months earlier.

Keep a simple log per team member. Nothing elaborate. Short notes. A strong performance here, a missed deadline there, a great moment in a meeting, a conversation that didn't quite land.

By year-end you'll have dozens of concrete points. That's what gives a review substance. No vague impressions. No recency bias. No gut.

For the conversation itself: write down your three main messages. What does your team member need to know when they walk out of the room? Start there. End there. Everything in between is filling.

For organizations that want their entire management team to get structurally better at this, a leadership development program offers the structure that fits.


A final thought

A performance review is, at its core, a form of care. You're telling someone where they stand. What's going well. What needs to improve. How they can grow.

Avoiding the discomfort feels kind. In practice you leave someone with more uncertainty than they had before the conversation. Real care is clarity.

Want to get structurally better at this as a leader? Leadership coaching helps you not only survive these conversations but use them as moments of growth. Plan a free introduction via contact. No sales. Just a good conversation.

How To Feel More Empathy at Work

David Buirs Leadership Coach

The first thing I do in the morning?
Wish total strangers a happy life.

The challenge? Doing it before coffee. ☕😊

This is part of a Loving Kindness meditation (also called Metta). And it has some incredible benefits:
✔ Increases empathy & emotional intelligence
✔ Boosts happiness & reduces stress
✔ Strengthens your ability to deal with difficult people

It’s simple. Here’s how:
1️⃣ Close your eyes. Picture someone you love. Wish them happiness & health. (2 min)
2️⃣ Do the same for someone you like.
3️⃣ Now, visualize someone neutral—like a cashier who helped you.
4️⃣ Picture yourself. Yes, you deserve kindness too.
5️⃣ Think of someone you find difficult. Wish them well.
6️⃣ Finally, choose someone you really dislike. Wish them happiness, too.

Wait—why would you do that?
Not because you condone bad behavior, but because it rewires your brain for more emotional balance.

It might feel weird at first. But over time, it softens frustration and strengthens your ability to lead with compassion.

Would you ever try this? Or does it sound too out there for you? 👀